I don't wanna be fat.... but i'm a donut kid....

I don't wanna be fat, but i'm a donut kid. There's a million flavors of ice cream, with sprinkles and fudge. From vanilla to chocolate to rocky roads, there's a million flavors to eat. I don't wanna be fat, But baby I am, it's true I'm a donut kid. (sung loosely to the Toys R us theme song).

I've been working really hard (for me) lately. Has my eating been as good as it could be? No... BUT i have been doing better and I've been working out pretty hard. 5-7 days a week? No but 3-4! And when i'm in there i am SWEATING! It's not a leisurely stroll on the treadmill, it's the elliptical at a speed of 8 with sprints up to 13 (i even hit 16) for 30 secs. I do upper and lower body weights where I always lift an amount that makes it so by the last set i have to lower the weight. And i do abs, abs that make it hard to laugh some days... so I WORK IT!

And i've been proud of myself. Many days my clothes DO look better, AND my legs are looking much better too... way more toned. But the scale is NOT moving. It'll go down for a bit, but then up it goes again. So i told myself that i must have lost inches... so i decided to check. no... NO!

I've gained. Yes I lost 2 inches in my boobs.... my waist? up my thighs that are looking better? up my upper arms? up.

I mean what the hell! I just want to give up. I really do. There are all of these skinny bitches (okay they aren't bitches, they are actually VERY nice, I'm actually kinda pissed that their outsides match how beautiful their insides are...) in my neighborhood that have had kids and look amazing and I WANT TO BE THEM!

I am TIRED of looking at photos and trying to figure out a way to crop them to make me look skinnier. I'm tired of faking a smile when I really want to cry. I'm tired of not wanting to be in a swimsuit because i'm embarrassed by my weight. I'm tired of spending money to make myself feel better.

All i can think is that it's the eating... but i have NO NONE ZERO accountability with myself and my dear darlin Northern Cowboy is NOT helpful since he's pretty lean and mean without any stress about it.

Anyone have an idea?

Jiggle me Happy!

I'm at 165! when i joined this i was 167 so i'm down 2 more lbs and totally inches. I can see that my legs are looking more muscular and less flabby, my midsection is less pregnant looking and more empty belly looking! I'm so happy! I'm getting there! Slowly but surely!

I've worked out three times this week so far and I plan on working out tomorrow. I've also been REALLY  good with my eating. I haven't counted my calories BUT i know i've been keeping within them!~

Lets hope next week is just as great! 58 days until the beach!
so link up!

PLEASE help me jiggle less!

I need a plan! I need a Erin eat this and DO NOT eat this. I need a "this is what your menu will be for the next few months". I need a kick in the butt and HELP!

Please, can you help me???

Update on the Jiggle Challenge?

Well, it's like this, i'm less jiggly but no % of weight gone.

I worked out 4 times last week and did okay with my eating, until the weekend happened.

This week i've worked out 2 times so far and have not been terrible or good with my eating... i need something....

Oh this looks like fun!

Okay so i thought this looked like a GREAT and encouraging way to motivate me more (because one can NEVER have TOO much support and motivation) to lose more weight! Now, I personally want to karate chop them because they only have 6lbs to lose and I have A LOT more than that, but maybe that means I'll win!!!
We'll see...

Anyway i'm linking up with this challenge! 8weeks to lose as much as we can! My Goal is 16lbs!

I'm at 167 today (down 5 from January) so that would get me to 151! I'm tempted to say 17 just to get me to 150 or 18 to get me into the 140s, but lets not be unrealistic or unhealthy. 1-2lbs per week is healthy!

I'm going to try to make better decisions with my meals, eat smaller portions. Exercise at lunch every day and try to add in 2 more workouts a week (could be in the morning... dvd. could be in the afternoon...stroller ride for Kinsley. could be on the weekend! we'll see!).

I've worked out twice this week so I'm proud of myself so far! Lets keep it going!

So here's where I'M at...

My work (well 4 of us) is doing Biggest Loser! We started January 10th! We will end it on May 31. Right now it is April 5th...

Now I have lost some, gained it back lost some.... gained it back... but lately, like 3 weeks lately, i've been losing! I'm even 5lbs under my starting weight! YEA!

I'm pretty happy about that and can't wait to accomplish more!

Here's me now... you know since i got this big dramatic hair cut (i got bangs).

 Face is thinner. Waist curvier. Thighs less friendly with each other (although still closer friends than i think they should be!)!

We're getting there kids! Just 82 more days until VACATION!

I'm at a count down.

This is the homemade sign that is hanging in my office. Each day I will rip off a number to reveal the next smaller number, meaning i will be one day closer to my vacation. Vacation in Charleston, SC... where we will be going to the beach... where most people wear swimsuits... so i'll be expected to wear one. yeah, see where i'm going with this?

So i'm about to take some serious measures. Everyone keeps telling me to not be drastic, to just make small changes. Don't eliminate anything from your diet, you don't want to deprive yourself. But i also don't want to be a freaking beached whale! Plus the thought of small children running in fear is motivating! 

So here's what i'm looking to do.

1. Wake up at 5am and start off my day with a workout video.
       I'll admit it, i've been hitting the snooze until 530, sometimes even 545 and barely getting to work on time by the skin of my teeth. If i'm going to cut it close, i might as well do it with a video right?
       Video of Choice to start off? 30 Day Shred. Yep, I am.

2. NO DRINKING! Alcohol i mean. For one month I will not drink. This will get rid of my empty calories, cut out my food binging and will make sure I don't talk myself out of waking up early the next day to do my video!

3. AT LEAST 80oz of water a day. I don't care if i have to sit there and chug it down before i go to bed. It's at must!

4. Jog at least 10 miles a week. I should be doing A LOT more then that, especially with the Cherry Blossom around the corner, but i need to do AT LEAST the 10.

5. Only one cheat meal a week.
      That means if we're driving to NC and we stop at a McDonald's and I have a burger rather then a grilled ck salad, THAT was my cheat meal. So i better plan ahead and make it good.

So there's my plan. Do you have one? I don't want to cry and cover up the whole week at the beach, i want to flaunt it (or at least sport a sexy one piece since i have stretch marks from...).

110 days until the Swim suit takes over.

Day One

here's my day one of weight watchers so far... I haven't fallen off the wagon... which i've normally done by now... yep i'm only 1/2 way through the day, what are you going to make of it. I have cookies that my brother made (which means they are AWESOMENESS) staring at me, BEGGING me to eat them... but i won't. I REFUSE!

Know what motivated me today? Looking at Athropologie.com and wanting to buy a shirt on a REALLY good deal but being too nervous because I didn't know how my fack (back fat) and stuge (stomach pug) would look in it. Yeah that blows... I want to buy that shirt, but i want to LIKE that shirt on me. So the fack has to go! And the stuge, oh the stuge... i want to go and run stairs right now!

So here's to staying motivated, maybe i'll print off that shirt as a reminder of this moment!

McFatty Monday

So it's for real this time... at least the diet part, i make no promises on the workouts because i know myself TOO well. But I am on a serious diet crack down starting TODAY! Why is THIS time different then ALL of those other times? Because Kinsley is 10 months old today! that means i have 2 months to loose a chuck of weight by her first birthday so that i don't hate her pictures! AHHHH!

Plus this is my last week of pumping "normally". Starting next week i'll go to only 3-4 sessions a day instead of 5. Then after two weeks of that i will only pump in the mornings and evenings. then not at all. What does all that mean?? I won't be burning the calories that i use to be burning... AHHH!

So that's it... I'm fed up with myself and my excuses... we're doing this! I HAVE to love myself eventually so today is the day.... because look at this little cutie. This is her before school on Friday and well... She's so cute i don't want to have to burn her first birthday pictures because i'm in them!




God i love that kid! She's so beyond cute and happy and freakin adorable that i can't stand but smile at just the thought of her! MUWAH! Momma loves you!

All the awfulness

Here's what we're working with people in all it's awfulness.
I weigh: 165.5
My body fat is 31.5%
I am 49% water weight (i think that's what it means...)
My measurements are the following

Busts: 43" (yikes) Waist: 32"
Hips: 41.5" Pooch belly: 40"
Thighs: 23 3/4" each Upper Arms: 12 1/4" each
Neck: 13.5"

So i don't have those AWESOME before pictures for you...yet. I will take them tonight. Promise!
So lets start our journey into the The Carb Lovers Diet and the 30 day Shred!

And as a farewell to our former fatter life, here's my cute little cupcake eating a cupcake that i can no longer have (for now)!

To her credit there's some mashed potato already in her hair...
"Mom how do i get it from my fingers to my mouth?"
"Maybe if i wave my hand around in the air?"
"Opps I had an itch"
"just showing off what good gel Icing makes!"

The Stage is Set!

Alright my little chickadees, I've picked out the weight loss mumbo jumbo that i'm going to review LIVE for you!

I'm actually picking out TWO to do at the SAME time.... it's getting CRAZY in here ya'll!


So Jess mentioned the Carb Lovers diet and I think that sounds like my cup of tea. Upon further research it's really a low-calorie diet that lets you eat certain carbs... BUT you GET to EAT them!!!

Plus you shouldn't just rely on a diet or just a workout to get you into that sex kitten state. You need BOTH! So i'll be 30 day shredding it. See I have started the 30 day shred like oh 3 times but never made it past like day 3. So I figure with ya'll watching and possibly even encouraging, I'll do it!

So jump on the band wagon with me!
I'll post all of the embarrassing numbers and pictures on Monday and i'll post the recipes, amounts, etc that I use.

SO here i come K's first birthday... where i plan on being at least 20 (or more) pounds lighter and whole lot buffer!

It's like this... do you want to know?

SO a new installment of the McFatty Thursday but on a MONDAY! I thought that it might be fun to "try out" some diets/workouts etc for you. I know you've always wondered "does this REALLY work???" about a lot of programs that promise results. Plus you want to know if you could really find the time to do it, how easy it is, etc.

Well Hello, I'm your new Guinea-pig! Do you want to know what the 30 day shred will really do to your body in 30 days? Do you want to know what a particular diet will do, will it even help?

So i've tired A LOT of diets in my life and some DO work but they are work... so where's the helpfulness in that?? We all gain weight because it's easier. It's easier to grab fast food or pop a pizza in the oven. It's easier to get lost in To Do's around the house then take 30 minutes to workout. So I'll let you know if a diet or workout program is really worth your time!

So let me know what you want me to try! I'll do one program at a time so you can really know how it helps/ effects your body, etc.

There ARE rules for suggestions though.
1. I DO NOT have a hour and a half to workout each day so please don't recommend one that needs me to... because honestly if we all had an hour and half to workout every day we wouldn't be in this situation to begin with!

2. I DO need to eat, so no grapefruit diets, liquid diets, etc.

I promise to:
1. Take embarrassing before and after pictures
2. Constantly update you on the progress
3. To tell you the truth about what i think and if you should spend the money and time on it

So I'll let you know on Thursday what i'll be trying out first. Until then let me know what you would like for me to try!

Yummy Mummy Monday!

Well here's to a NEW weightloss guide! Lets see if i can stick to this!
It's called Yummy Mummy. You buy the book which is a pdf. You also get a few other guides, etc. Reading through it i really like this program. It's made for busy Moms. So it really sets out high protein meals with whole wheat carbs. You have to eat every three hours to get your metabolism going. And you will work out for 90min A WEEK! Yeah not a day. She really involved strength training into your program because muscle burns more fat. You will be healthier and leaner if you burn fat and build muscle rather then just loose weight.

Holly focuses on how you look, not on the number on the scale. She wants to you to loose at a safe rate (1-2lbs a week) and she wants you to have cheat meals. But, with the cheat meals, you plan them ahead of time. For example i know that my mom is coming into town so one night we'll go out to eat. So i'll cheat then. I won't go over the top like i use to But i will order something that i really want, not just what i should eat.

So i've planned my meals out for the week and put them together and here's what it's going to look like most days:

On the drive in: Fruit smoothy with protein powder and light yogurt in it.
3hrs later: whole wheat blueberry waffles topped with natural peanut butter
3hrs later: spinach wrap of turkey, white american, baby spinach leaves, bell pepper slices, and mustard. and a little bag of baby carrots.
3hrs later: apple slices and almonds
Dinner: tonight will be ck breast, brown rice, and salad
Tomorrow: low fat sausage with peppers and onions, a starch and a veggie
wednesday: fish, starch and veggie
thurs: turkey burger on whole wheat sandwich thin with sweet potato fries
Friday: I'm hoping my Mom will cook!

and then weekends we normally wing it and go to the store.

I will be running every other day, walking whenever my neighbors want to, and doing my toning on non running days!

For more info on the Yummy Mummy program keep reading or go here. And no i'm not being given/paid anything for telling you about this program. It's just one i've decided to try and thought you might want to know how it goes~

Homework already?

Yeah so I look in KK's box on Monday and there's papers to take home... i throw them in the bag and promptly forget about them. So we get home yesterday (after finding out she has a fever, most likely due to teething) and i see them on the table and think "i should probably look at those"... so i do and do you know what??? The Kid has HOMEWORK! Yeah! At Age 4 months! I mean seriously?!?!? The note says to take this paper doll and decorate it with your child to represent her and her family. Yeah OKAY! Let me take my 4month old and give her some scissors and glue! GREAT idea! She can then cut her mouth open after she glues it shut from sucking on the glue... forget about markers or crayons, i don't feel like seeing multi colored poop for days!

So what does all this mean??? It means I, the Mommy, have to do it, OBVIOUSLY! And since it's SOOO obvious that her Mommy will be doing it FOR her i knew it had to be pretty decent since, HELLO i'm not 2! SO i got out the scrapbook stuff and went for it! It was actually kind of fun!
I would like to point out a few details: Notice the mandatory bow! Do you see her earring? They are little rhinestones! She has a cross bracelet and we could never forget the puppies (even if we do want them to go sleep somewhere else)! I think i did pretty good, if i do say so myself! A+ to me!

And now it's McFatty Thursday and this weeks edition will be in the form of a Vlog!


So what do you think? Should i vlog again? Let me know! Hey if you want send me a webcam and i'll vlog CONSTANTLY with Kinsley at home! You'll get the two of us for the price of one!

McFatty Thursday

This is a weekly entry I'm going to start. It's going to be my way of checking in, venting, sharing recipes, tips that work, or things that just don't. I will update you on my progress (good or bad) and ask for your support!

This is all coming about because I'm at a overwhelming moment in my life. Or i could say today just feels like one. I know you've had days like that, where nothing really changed that particular day, yet you feel so over whelmed by everything that it's getting hard to breath. Being a spaghetti woman (from the book Men are like Waffles Women are like Spaghetti) everything runs together and swallows me whole at least once every other month to every month. You just hit a wall, like rock bottom. And you say to yourself "TODAY I'm going to change and get everything together"... but how?

How do you find the time that you didn't have yesterday? How do you find the energy? What about the help? The list of questions and excuses goes ON and ON.

Well frankly I'm tired of my excuses. I'm tired of them because the only person suffering from them is ME! No one is making my excuses disappear and my weight and emotional well being is suffering from the constant pity party. So I'm giving myself a big kick in the ass and getting over myself.

So here's what I want, reasons why i can't, how i will fix it:
1. I want to go on a walk/jog daily (or close to)

Why can't i? Well there's only so much time from when i get home with Kinsley and when it's her bed time, and the dogs need attention and it's too hard to take all three, and i need to make dinner, and Chris doesn't get home until late, and....

So what am i going to do about this? Well if Kinsley is in a good mood, then I'm going to suck up my fear and attempt to walk ALL three! It will be hard and tiring at first, but in the long run we will all benefit from it!
If Kinsley is NOT in a good mood, I will wait until she's asleep for the night and do a video if Chris isn't home or go for a walk/jog after he gets home. No excuses... ME time!

2. I want a clean house so that i won't be terrified if a friend "drops by"

Why can't i? Have you met my dogs? They shed.... they shed a lot... it's gross and it NEVER stops. Chris works so late so i don't get any help. I only have the weekends to do things and i don't want to spend them cleaning.

So what am i going to do about this? I will create a routine just like i do in the mornings! Either after i let the dogs out or after our walk then it's bottle time (getting the milk ready for the next day), after dinner the dishes MUST be done right away (or they will be there tomorrow), the vacuum will be run nightly because that takes what, 3 minutes? Each Saturday Kinsley always takes a nap before we go to her 10:30 swim class... so i will do everything i can around the house until she wakes up or we have to leave to put the house in order. Then whenever Chris can be around we'll either get more time as a family OR we can spend an hour together doing extra deeper cleaning (sadly my sweet husband LOVES this, relaxes him to know things are cleaner... hopefully he'll start to rub off on me)!

3. I want to stop emotional eating!

Why I can't? Because I'm too busy to cook. There's nothing healthy in my house. I didn't get to the store. I hate cooking for one. I'm to tired. I deserve it after today. I need the comfort. No one's here to know. I just can't say no, it's so good! This ONE time won't hurt...

So what am i going to do about this? Well I'm hoping if i occupy myself more (walking, cleaning) it will make it harder to emotional eat. Also i will be better about planning my healthy snacks (ie preparing raw veggies to eat on the weekends in bags for the week, etc) since I already mostly plan my meals. I will also track my weight watchers point each day, no matter how bad I've been... no more Starting over tomorrow... okay tomorrow... okay Monday I PROMISE!

4. I want to stop my emotional SPENDING!

Why can't i? Because Kinsley NEEDS a bow in this color and you have to order 5 to get the deal and.... Because if i'm going to stop to get my prescription i KNOW we NEED more things and so i might as well get them while i'm there and OH LOOK a new shirt! Because the best time to shop is on your computer on your lunch break!

What am I going to do about this? i'm going to start keeping a notebook of everything i spend. I'm going to write it down (item and price) and review it daily. It will be my spending diary, like a food diary. Spending makes me feel better (for the moment) about other things that i don't feel so good about (ie weight, fitness, involvement with church, loneliness, etc). That moment that you purchase something cute for you or someone else is just exciting! I DID IT! Then the remorse kicks in and the guilt, so you try to justify it, then you see the Credit Card bill at the end of the month and wonder "how did this happen? I swear i NEEDED everything I bought". So I will give Chris permission to be my Judge Judy and Tell me if i NEED something, or just really really want it to the point i've FOUND ways to justify it!


So these are my main goals. I feel like if these can eventually fall into place a lot of other things will to!
Do you have any goals? Any ups or downs that you want to share? Lets work on them together!

weight: 169.5 (+4.5lb from pre-pregnancy weight)