Picture Over Load! Wedding! Part One

There will be a TON of pictures coming... but i'm going to spread them out so it's not too much cuteness at once... i mean i don't want you to have to go into rehab for too much cuteness!

Here's Kinsley on the beach our first day in the Bahamas in her little swim outfit!

Oh yea, she's too cool for school!
Hanging out in the sun is hard work! But much easier in her flower hat!
Daddy hanging out with the Groom.
Trading tips while Mommy has a drink.... thank GOD for breast pumps!
She REALLY enjoyed the sand... she just kept wiggling her little toes!

McFatty Thursday

This is a weekly entry I'm going to start. It's going to be my way of checking in, venting, sharing recipes, tips that work, or things that just don't. I will update you on my progress (good or bad) and ask for your support!

This is all coming about because I'm at a overwhelming moment in my life. Or i could say today just feels like one. I know you've had days like that, where nothing really changed that particular day, yet you feel so over whelmed by everything that it's getting hard to breath. Being a spaghetti woman (from the book Men are like Waffles Women are like Spaghetti) everything runs together and swallows me whole at least once every other month to every month. You just hit a wall, like rock bottom. And you say to yourself "TODAY I'm going to change and get everything together"... but how?

How do you find the time that you didn't have yesterday? How do you find the energy? What about the help? The list of questions and excuses goes ON and ON.

Well frankly I'm tired of my excuses. I'm tired of them because the only person suffering from them is ME! No one is making my excuses disappear and my weight and emotional well being is suffering from the constant pity party. So I'm giving myself a big kick in the ass and getting over myself.

So here's what I want, reasons why i can't, how i will fix it:
1. I want to go on a walk/jog daily (or close to)

Why can't i? Well there's only so much time from when i get home with Kinsley and when it's her bed time, and the dogs need attention and it's too hard to take all three, and i need to make dinner, and Chris doesn't get home until late, and....

So what am i going to do about this? Well if Kinsley is in a good mood, then I'm going to suck up my fear and attempt to walk ALL three! It will be hard and tiring at first, but in the long run we will all benefit from it!
If Kinsley is NOT in a good mood, I will wait until she's asleep for the night and do a video if Chris isn't home or go for a walk/jog after he gets home. No excuses... ME time!

2. I want a clean house so that i won't be terrified if a friend "drops by"

Why can't i? Have you met my dogs? They shed.... they shed a lot... it's gross and it NEVER stops. Chris works so late so i don't get any help. I only have the weekends to do things and i don't want to spend them cleaning.

So what am i going to do about this? I will create a routine just like i do in the mornings! Either after i let the dogs out or after our walk then it's bottle time (getting the milk ready for the next day), after dinner the dishes MUST be done right away (or they will be there tomorrow), the vacuum will be run nightly because that takes what, 3 minutes? Each Saturday Kinsley always takes a nap before we go to her 10:30 swim class... so i will do everything i can around the house until she wakes up or we have to leave to put the house in order. Then whenever Chris can be around we'll either get more time as a family OR we can spend an hour together doing extra deeper cleaning (sadly my sweet husband LOVES this, relaxes him to know things are cleaner... hopefully he'll start to rub off on me)!

3. I want to stop emotional eating!

Why I can't? Because I'm too busy to cook. There's nothing healthy in my house. I didn't get to the store. I hate cooking for one. I'm to tired. I deserve it after today. I need the comfort. No one's here to know. I just can't say no, it's so good! This ONE time won't hurt...

So what am i going to do about this? Well I'm hoping if i occupy myself more (walking, cleaning) it will make it harder to emotional eat. Also i will be better about planning my healthy snacks (ie preparing raw veggies to eat on the weekends in bags for the week, etc) since I already mostly plan my meals. I will also track my weight watchers point each day, no matter how bad I've been... no more Starting over tomorrow... okay tomorrow... okay Monday I PROMISE!

4. I want to stop my emotional SPENDING!

Why can't i? Because Kinsley NEEDS a bow in this color and you have to order 5 to get the deal and.... Because if i'm going to stop to get my prescription i KNOW we NEED more things and so i might as well get them while i'm there and OH LOOK a new shirt! Because the best time to shop is on your computer on your lunch break!

What am I going to do about this? i'm going to start keeping a notebook of everything i spend. I'm going to write it down (item and price) and review it daily. It will be my spending diary, like a food diary. Spending makes me feel better (for the moment) about other things that i don't feel so good about (ie weight, fitness, involvement with church, loneliness, etc). That moment that you purchase something cute for you or someone else is just exciting! I DID IT! Then the remorse kicks in and the guilt, so you try to justify it, then you see the Credit Card bill at the end of the month and wonder "how did this happen? I swear i NEEDED everything I bought". So I will give Chris permission to be my Judge Judy and Tell me if i NEED something, or just really really want it to the point i've FOUND ways to justify it!


So these are my main goals. I feel like if these can eventually fall into place a lot of other things will to!
Do you have any goals? Any ups or downs that you want to share? Lets work on them together!

weight: 169.5 (+4.5lb from pre-pregnancy weight)

Holy Freaking Southerness!

So I read a lot of other Mommy's blogs and one that I'm addicted to is Heir to the Blair. Well she recently listed this site on her blog and i'm slightly obsessed! The jewelry is just so amazingly southern glam I can hardly stand it! I mean i can't afford most of it but OOOOH if i could! Here's a few of my favs!

OMG i LOVE BIG jewelry! How freaking delicious is this?!?!? It's big, layered, brown, pearl like AND has glamorous accents! Swoon!
I LOVE stacking rings, have since high school... wedding ring/engagement ring is sort of like a stacking ring... love!
Yellow is AWESOME this year! You can win this ring on Blair's blog... i would never be so lucky BUT if i were!
The bracelet should be buried with me when i die! It's to die for, seriously! It's out of control how perfect it is and how perfect it would go with everything i own!
How can you not like dangling earrings with pearls and bows? Seriously!
OMG, it's a work of art, she has combined my two favorite things, pearls and ribbon! Swooning again...
Now this might be a bit much for some of you, others might be thinking it's from their grandmothers closet, but grandma is hip again and so is this necklace! I need it and want it but there's no way a can justify it's cost to my sweet husband....


Well there's many more but this is just a few that i will find a way to one day have! So amazing!

Anyone want two amazingly cute dogs?

No not REALLY, i couldn't give up my little furry babies anymore then i could cut off my right arm... but i don't know what to do... i REALLY think Kinsley is allergic to them. Not rush her to the hospital, stick an epi pin in her allergic, but constant runny nose and congestion sick... just like Chris. I vacuum... oh do i vacuum, but as soon as i'm done... there's hair.

Here's the other problem... they sleep with us, they lay on the furniture, they are like true family members. It's been going on for 4+ with one dog and 7 years with the other... what can we do? It seems cruel now to change everything on them... UH!

any tips, etc would be GREAT!

oh and vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs!

New things since we're waiting for pictures!

So i've added a "Tag Button" to my page, so if you would like to put my button on your page that would be GREAT! Also I'm on Top Mommy Blogs now... if you would just click to vote for me that would be really cool~ I know there's SOOO many Mommy Blogs to vote for these days BUT i wouldn't mind if you thought i was a good one!

We're Back!

And i left my camera cord and charger at the resort! Can you believe it?!?! I have the BEST pictures to upload and they are stuck on my computer until that dang cord arrives! UH!

BUT, in summary... the trip was AWESOME! Kinsley was FAN-Freakin-tastic! She was such a good little girl! I'm so proud of her! She was so good on the planes (everyone around us said so!), she was so cute out and about the resort! AND she even was pretty good at night, only waking normally once! She did have a "moment" here and there, but that was mostly in the room after being outside all day so we didn't blame her and just hung out inside then.

and get this... She ROLLS OVER! She will roll from her tummy to her back! Incredible! I'm so proud of her! It's not just a fluke either! She KEEPS doing it! I'll post the video, again AFTER i get those cords.

Well i hope you all had a wonderful Easter and i'll update you more when i have the pictures to go with the story!

WOW! A Year ago...

A year ago today I found out i was pregnant! Can you even begin to grasp that? I can't! A year ago today my life was changed forever. I woke up after Chris left, DYING to pee, but holding it in so i could get the most important pee of the day on a tiny little stick. I squinted trying to make out if I was seeing what i thought i was seeing. I peed again (where all this pee came from magically i don't know), took a shower, looked at those lines! Called into work sick (because there was NO way i would be able to do any work... i WAS sick, sick with happiness and anticipation for Chris to get home) and waited for walmart to open, because i didn't trust those lines, i NEEDED to READ that i was indeed pregnant.

I peed again and the most Magical words appeared on that expensive little pee stick "Pregnant"! We did it! First shot out of the gate PREGNANT!

Little did i know what a journey it would be. Full of fat days, belly days, cravings (yumm Burgers!), and the moment where we were told "something" was wrong. My Hcg levels were not right, they were very very low... BUT i was 12weeks pregnant and she was measuring GREAT! No one knew what that meant so as a result, we got to see her EVERY month! Each month Daddy and I would get to stare in wonder at our amazing baby girl. Wondering, hoping, and praying that she would be okay! She was always MORE then okay! She would measure ahead at each and every appointment putting our fears to rest.

When we found out we were having a Kinsley instead of a Cole we were ecstatic (especially me since i knew i could indulge in my bow fetish)! We quickly finished putting all the girly touches on the baby registry and got busy making a beautiful nursery for Kinsley to sleep in.

Our days became filled with sleeping (mostly by me!), pushing Kinsley's feet OUT of my ribs, classes to learn how not to injure our child, and prayers. Prayers that she would be okay, prayers that WE would be okay, and that we would be good parents.

One year ago today our lives changed dramatically, i don't think we fully realized THEN how lucky we were. But One year later, looking at our 4 month old daughter we do! Even after the sleepless nights, the poop explosions, the cracked nipples, we know we are truly fortunate and blessed. Because despite it all we have a perfect little girl that will give us smiles and laughs despite the fact that she's teething and has a stuffy/runny nose. We have a little girl that will sing to us and tell us all about her day even though she doesn't know how to speak yet. And we have a little girl that is the perfect mix of her Daddy and I and she is the most perfect blessing from God.

I look at her little dimple and just stare in wonder and try to figure out how did i get so lucky, one year ago today?