Honestly I think that's part of what is wrong with kids and now adults these days. Parents who are checked out and not involved and lack of discipline.
I'm sorry but if my three year old is throwing things and screaming because she wants to watch more Mickey Mouse Club House, a hug is not going to get the point across that this behavior is not acceptable. AND putting her in time out is not going to do anything either because frankly she's past the point of a time out helping.
Now, sometimes i will make her go sit in her room until she can "function" nicely and not scream. But, I also don't have that option at a restaurant... so you know what... when she's not behaving nicely I have no problem taking her out to the car or the restroom and popping her behind to "remind" her that there is a consequence for her actions.
One of my good friends made a great point to me that hands are for love, so they have a naughty spoon. That spoon is used to give a spanking. This has the child associating the discipline on that spoon, not your hands. I love this idea. I've asked Kinsley a few times "Do i need to get the spoon?"... guess what, I've NEVER used it!
I'm not above trying everything under the sun to prevent getting to a level of needing to spank. Last night we started a new reward system that the same friend told me about. Kinsley gets marbles for good listening, good behavior, and obeying Mommy the first time. She gets a marble for going to bed nicely and not throwing a tantrum in the mornings. She will get a marble if she's good at school and she uses her manners. But she will lose marbles for not doing these things. If I ask her to go upstairs for a bath and she melts down, goodbye marble. Does she refuse to take one bite of her vegetables? Goodbye marble. Once she gets to 30 marbles then she gets to do something fun with me, like go and get her nails done! SHE LOVES this idea!
But despite the amazing marble idea, sometimes it doesn't matter and a spanking is the only thing that will snap this kid around.
The marbles thing is a great idea!
ReplyDeleteAnd we have a spanking spoon too.
No matter how you slice it, it's hitting, that's why there is a stigma. And I don't think anyone should hit anyone, especially children. The frustration and challenges of parenting aren't an excuse for it. Your positive reinforcement ideas are great. Not everything can be positive reinforcement and all peachy all the time, I get that. But there will never be an explanation that justifies spanking to me. Personal opinion, I know everyone does what they feel is best for their children. I feel strongly about this, as I'm sure you do, and I respect your opinion even though I don't agree with it.
ReplyDelete