My Dear Son, you're a brat...

I mean it's true, I'm sorry. I'm your mother, I love you to the moon and back but you.are.a.brat. At the ripe old age of Two and a half you can make a grown person want to climb into the fetal position and scratch their eyes out. You're not happy unless I let you eat ketchup with Popsicles for breakfast while leaving your sister to fend for herself, while allowing you to jump on the kitchen table in your underwear watching your 1,000th episode of Paw Patrol. You're a brat.

God forbid I need to go downstairs in the morning to make breakfast or lunches, or hell to get a cup of coffee to deal with your mood swing that I KNOW is coming... no no, forget it. Lord Help me if I need to use the bathroom EVER, it's not allowed (NO MOMMA NO POTTY! WHAAAAAA!).

I tell you to stop and you wait to see if I really mean it, when you realize I do because I'm coming at your like a swat team you turn into full survival mode and start catapulting anything within reach, toys, pillows, shoes... all fair game.

I know part of your brattiness if my fault. Honestly I get home and the follow through sounds SO exhausting. And you've been given so many "outs" from people that even you recite them when you're about to get into trouble, "I tired Momma". It wouldn't be all THAT bad except I'm TIRED. You've decided that this is a good time to boycott sleeping. REALLY? You walk into my room on a nightly basis. I walk you back to your room, tuck you and then we rinse and repeat. JUST STAY SLEEP!!!!

So my dear son, your reckoning is coming and it's named Momma. Oh yeah, brace yourself because I've gotten so tired and annoyed that I'm on the verge of crazy and I might just take that crazy out on every one of your toys! That crazy might just turn itself into only veggies ALL the time, breakfast lunch and dinner until you can say "I love it Momma, more please". Ontil you can stop using your sister as a dart board and tackle dummy and the dog as a horse, there will be a new sheriff in town and I don't think you're going to like her very much, because Momma don't do bratty kids!