Wednesday, July 27, 2016

This point in your life is known as Motherhood, aka Not your own

You know I take my hat off to all the blogs I read of mothers who have lives, who are in shape, who look cute on a daily basis. I am not one of those moms. You know what kind of mom I am? I'm the kind that works full time, a hour away from home. I'm the kind that's a little fluffier then I would like to be because I just can't bear to get up at 4:45AM to work out. I'm the kind of mom that stays up until 11 making things for my kids class party. I'm a mom that's constantly tired. I wear a fitbit to see just how much sleep I'm not getting and just how many steps I'm not taking.

Right now I'm in survival mode. I keep coming up with plans on how to take care of myself but, it's not happening, instead I just keep buying bigger pants.

I think an ah ha moment for me was the other day when my brother asked me "So what are you doing for fun for YOU"... I didn't have an answer, other than "Drink wine...?" There is no Me, there's Mother. It's not bad but, what happens later?

There will come a time when I won't hear the screams of "Mom I can't sleep alone" "Mom I need help getting ready" "Mom i need you to help me..."... eventually they will do it themselves, and I'll miss it, but eventually I'll be able to find me.
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