Monday, April 14, 2014

Apparently being in your 30s means something...

So I don't know if it's just the path in life we've taken or the actual age but, my 30s are feeling older for me than I thought they would. At first, because I was surrounded by my friends who are all in their 30s-40s and in similar lifestyles, it didn't seem like a big deal. Age has never really played a factor for me. But recently, it's seems to be a line in the sand. I was almost made to feel like a cougar... seriously?!?!

It could be that Chris and I just did things a lot earlier than most do these days. We started serious careers right out of college. We were married RIGHT after we turned 24. We bought a house 6 months before we got married. We had our first child right after we turned 27. The second child around 29. These days that's all really early.

At a wedding this weekend I told some people I'm in my 30s (31... like WHOA) and I received bug eyes. Over the hill right? HA

I know there's the whole 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40, so what is 30? Because I'll tell you, this weekend I was NOT 20! I might as well have been put at the Grandparents table. Kidding! Sort of.

I always love looking back on these dynamics. Chris and I did things early (not quickly) because we wanted to be able to enjoy our kids and our lives after kids while still being relatively young. Think about it, when Kinsley is entering college we'll be 45! That's freaking AWESOME! I'm SOO going to be able to hang at a tailgate! HA

But being surrounded by 20 somethings talking about "when they are 30" like it's a huge life changing number, makes me laugh. To be flirted with by some 20 something only to see his eyes bug out of his head at the mention of my age (not to mention my marital status with two children) is equally laughable.

So I don't know if I feel old, wise, or just confused. I know my friends who are in their 30s and 40s are laughing at me and could probably write a blog post like this about me, but I like to think I don't treat them any different from me based on their age, because I feel like they don't treat me any differently either. To many age is defining, to me it's a number. It's a number that keeps going up, but other then that, it's just a number. The stories that go between those numbers is what matters. The trips, the experiences, the love is what matters.

Maybe I just have a lot of experience... oh wow now I sound like a ...
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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

We really can't be friends if...

Over the last 31 years I've started to learn a few things about myself. I'm still a relatively insecure child at heart. I care passionately for my family and friends. I LOVE to sleep and be lazy. I'm not ashamed to eat spaghetti for breakfast, all to name a few.

One of the other things I've started to learn is what it takes to make a good friend to me. I put in that "to me" part because obviously the things I value are not valued by all... just my friends! So in case you were hoping you made the list (or hoping to point out why I should give up on our friendship) below will tell you if you should give me a call

1. You have to respect the fact that I'm VERY opinionated and it wouldn't hurt if you were too! 
      I'm a bible beating conservative if you want to put a title on it. I believe in saying "Yes Mame", praying before our meals, having my own gun, and WORKING for what I have. If you don't agree with me or at least respect my opinion, please don't call.

2. You  have to have a job
     Whether that's in the office or in the home with your children, you must have a job. Or trying to find one. NOT "trying" to find the perfect one for so long that you're on welfare now, I don't support that and I don't want to support you with my tax dollars. Get off your butt and get to Walmart and get a job until the dream comes true for you.

3. You have to have a sense of humor
     Do you know what the word sarcastic means? If not please stop reading and DO NOT call.

4. You have to like wine, or beer, or cocktails... or SOMETHING. 
     Okay I'm just going to put it out there, Jesus turned water into Wine... There I said it... glad we talked about that. No seriously our BBQ's are going to feel REALLY weird if you NEVER have ONE drink with me. I get if you're on a diet, pregnant, nursing, whatever, but come on... NEVER have ONE... unless it's medical, don't call. We can chat, but are we REALLY going to be close?

5. You  have to be okay with me praying and talking about God
    You like how this one is right after the wine don't you? So I'm not perfect, never have been and never will be. I put this here (after the wine) to make that point. But I love God and Jesus something fierce and I like to speak about what he's done and is doing in my life. If that makes you uncomfortable, I'll pray for you. You don't have to agree with me, just be okay with it.

6. I discipline my children, in front of people.
    I'm sorry you don't ever feel the need to tell your child No and I'm sorry that you don't want to embarrass your child by putting them in the corner in public. But if MY child does something that is not acceptable they will have a consequence and that will cause crying and you will have to listen to it. SO if that makes you uncomfortable when you call, stipulate No children because my kids are young and every other minute there's a timeout happening.

7. You have to be okay with cheap
    In case you didn't see the previous requirements where I'm talking about having children, I do and they along with their daycare and extracurricular activities suck the ever loving dollar out of my purse, so if you like to go to fancy dinners with your friends on the regular, think hitting up a concert, or Ballet is a normal outing for you, please don't call unless it's your birthday or mine. I don't have money for that. I would have to pay for a babysitter (because there's no timeouts at the Ballet), most likely buy suitable clothing (t-shirts and work clothes don't apply), and then still shell out money for food, drinks, entertainment... I don't have money for that... Just come over with a bottle of wine (see #4) and something to throw on the grill (see #8) and lets put our feet up and chat.

8. I eat meat
    More importantly I eat meat that my husband KILLED! OH YEA! I'm not saying that venison has to be your cup of tea, but don't try to convince me why killing Bambi is tragic or if you're a full out vegetarian, oh lord, I really don't know how I would approach that... I mean as long as you're okay with blood dripping down my chin, because everyone knows a good steak should be rare, then we can remain friends.

9. DO NOT EVER make someone else feel uncomfortable in my house
    I'm so over the neighborhood clicks, the high school drama that some adults never grow out of. Might as well  be on an episode of Mean Girls. At least in the South if we don't like you we're nice to your face. If I have to go out one more time and be ignored or watch someone else be ignored because you are too rude to at least be cordial while our children play together I swear I might get redneck up in here!

So see it's not hard to be my friend. You want me to be tolerant, I ask for the same in return~

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Thursday, April 3, 2014

These kids blow my mind sometimes...

So I have a two year old and a four year old. Okay I have a 2 year and 1 month old and a 4 year and 4 month old. I think the months mean something at this age people!

My son (the 2 year 1 month old) has hit the terrible twos. He is gracing our presence with spectacular displays of tantrums. And he likes to pair his tantrums with words that you cannot understand. Yep Welcome to two! Last night for example he is going to bed and he keeps walking out of his room because he knows I'm in his sisters room trying to be productive (Toddler mission 101: NEVER let the parents be productive). First time he's upset about his nose running (because he won't stop crying!), wipe it go back to bed. Then a series of escapes happen and I'm not sure why because I CANNOT understand a damn thing coming out of his little mouth. Now normally Kinsley can translate but even she was at a loss.

I tried rubbing his back, holding him, ANYTHING and he keeps doing this scratching shit on his chest saying some gibberish that I don't get. You know what I finally figured out? He was hungry, because his Toddler pickiness (Toddler Mission 102: NEVER eat anything they give you) hit at dinner and he didn't eat his dinner. So I threw some muffins at him and closed (okay locked, NO MORE LEAVING) the door and sent the dog in to clean up THAT catastrophe this morning.

Toddlerhood SUCKS

Now you might remember I have a 4 year 4 month old too. This kid is BLOWING MY MIND right now. Like pooof there it goes. She's completely changed the game. I actually miss her tantrums sometimes because I knew what to do with those, lock her in her room! Now this kid is crafty. Like hire her to take over the world crafty.

She goes from laughing about how her brother is the best in the world because he picked a show she likes "OOOH Parker you're the best ever! And we have the best Mommy ever" enter rainbows and suns dancing..., to convincing others to do her dirty deeds so she can sit on the couch like she did nothing at all.

Example: Her boyfriend was over the other night. He's the most well mannered child I have ever met. He is good, says Yes Mame without being reminded and is shy. Do you know what he did just randomly for the first time ever in his life? Colored with a marker ALL OVER Parker's walls. Now, do you think he magically thought to do this himself? HELL NO! Because he did it with a Barbie marker! My daughter talked  him into it! 100% POSITIVE about this. And it wasn't just a little "Hey friend you should color on the walls" tempt, oh no that is soo beneath her! It was an elaborate "my brother is scared to sleep in here so we should draw things all over the walls to keep him safe and happy at night"! So she convinced this kid that he was actually helping and doing GOOD by drawing ALL OVER the walls. And then do you know what happened? She came and told me she didn't do it! And she didn't! *OMG Head to desk*. Don't worry she still got in trouble, because I KNOW, OOOOOH I know!

So this is what we're up against people. Stay strong, stick together, and drink wine!
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