Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Flipping Mom Guilt

Y'all, I'll be the first to tell you, I do NOT feel bad going to work. Hell, most days I'm sprinting to work without a backward glance. Does this make me a bad parent? Maybe, but I do love my kids and I know that I need the adult time to be a better Mom for them. Plus, my salary provides for us, even past daycare.

I try to do a lot with them and make all of their school parties and special moments but sometimes it's hard. I rarely have "me" time because my "me time" is work, how much does that suck?? Once I leave work I feel guilty if i schedule anything else that doesn't include them. True statement.

Well little man is sick and I'm not with him. 99% of the time I am the one that takes off and stays home with him, but it's just not possible today and I feel the guilt. I know he wants nothing but sweet Momma cuddles (at least I'm pretty sure that's in the top 5 of his list today) but i have to work... GUILT!

Also, tonight, I'm going out to dinner... so I won't be home before he goes to bed. GUILT! I'm going to dinner with a college bestie that i haven't seen in over 2 years so I'M GOING because she is staying over in Baltimore for the night to interview for a residency so it's a one shot deal and so I'M GOING but I've got loads of guilt!

Why can't a Momma ever do something without all of this guilt?!?! I love my kids so much it hurt and I know I do a lot for them but if I'm not the one there trying to make them feel better, no matter the reason, I feel guilty. Then at work I tell my boss that i might have to stay home tomorrow. I will try to telework some but with a sick baby you never know what will happen... so SHE throws the guilt on me!!! The hubs has got A LOT going on at work right now, so he is throwing the guilt on me. I'm not sure how much more my shoulders will bear.


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