BOOM and Mom slides in for the win

So Kinsley has Monkeys in her ears. For those of you who are not sophisticated enough to know what the hell I'm talking about, it's an ear infection. Doctors think they are funny and cute to tell toddlers that there's some crazy animal in their ear jumping around and that's why it hurts.

It's actually funny, since my 3 year old called me at work after her doctor's appointment and explains to me in the most huffy and annoyed voice "Mom, I have MONKEYS in my EAR!". I'll admit it, I laughed. Then she told me she was going to get to take bubble gum medicine. Now, I knew that we hadn't had the best of luck with Medicine lately, meaning my child would wake up from a dead sleep if I came near her with a sereng of medicine. I went through four f'ing homeopathic brands of cough medicine because "she didn't like taste" HOPING i would find the one she wouldn't spit back onto me. $40 later, I still hold her down and shoot it into her mouth wishing i could throw it in a needle for her arm.

So that evening we do our thing to get ready for bed and now it's time for the meds!! YEA!

Lets just say after multiple rows and me getting it spit on me, we ended up with me sitting on her (i mean I didn't put my full weight on her she could breathe so she could swallow) so that her arms and legs were pinned and I was shoving the medicine down the side of her cheek only to have her then gag and vomit all over her hair and me. F'ing awesome...

So part of me starts to feel bad for shoving something so vile as MEDICINE down her sweet little throat that I start bargaining with her. Yep, I just stepped over to the dark side. I promise her a new Ariel dress if she'll take her medicine from now on and Grandma (not to be out done) promises to buy her something too. A damn car most likely.

So the morning comes around and it's time to do this shit, again. Just has to take her medicine like a big girl then get a lot of shit bought for her. Yea, i think I got punched in the jaw. No seriously. So in a moment of desperation since we were running late... again... I said "if you will take you medicine I'll give you fruit snacks". For those of you who don't know, fruit snacks are the holy grail of toddler crack and she NEVER gets them in the mornings. HUGE!

The kids stops crying cold turkey, takes her medicine without even a grimace or face and then hops up to pick out her clothes.

OH HELL NO! She just started war!

I picked that little priss pot up later that day and gave her a hug and as I squeezed her close I told her she was going to her room. "Kinsley, you're going to your room when you get home because you behaved like a possessed pile of shit badly this morning when you needed to take your medicine and you made Mommy want to claw your eyes out and call child services sad, so until you can take your medicine like a normal good girl, you will stay in your room". She eyed me with the look of a well trained Harvard Law graduate and stated "Mommy, I want to take my medicine after dinner", But I was on to her! I was READY for her manipulation, so I told her "OKay, you can have it after dinner, but you'll be eating dinner in your room because you will be sitting in your room until you take your medicine" My future hostage negotiator stated "she would take a little" so i smacked that smile off her face with a "OKay you can take a little but you'll sit in your room until you take it all"

BOOYA! Take that toddler! BAM! Didn't see that coming did ya?!?!

Do you know what happened next? She drank it right down WITHOUT a face or concern and then had the nerve to ask for fruit snacks.

HELL TO THE NO! You bit your friend at school today too little thang so take your medicine spiting arm biting 3 year old little ass to the table now and color an "I'm sorry picture" for your friend.

WHAM! Momma sliding in for the win!

What makes you Happy Happy Happy

This post is going to go ALL over the place y'all so brace yourselves and hold on!

first this happened this morning:

Do you watch Duck Dynasty? You should because OMG awesome show and Parker agrees! HA

This girl is my love

I mean check out her style this past weekend for Dance! I love her!

So we went on a date to get her favorite, donuts, after lunch. She ate the top of her donut and i ate my one munchkin!

Then my genius 3 year old brought this over to me... she just HAPPENED to write her name, by herself, without my help! Amazing!

Next... I've lost 4 lbs!!!! BUT i think i gained it back tonight, UH. I got home and ate some chips and dip... was ready to shop and then run, but then we ran out of time and so i didn't... I took the dogs to vet and got home and the hubs had McDonald's for me... thanks to him but dangit to me!

So I hope my running friend is in for a beating tomorrow because I'm going to make her up the pace so i can down the weight... bwah ha ha!

I haven't had any amazing things happen with my body, no dramatic weight loss and no sizes lost or inches gone but i'm running and I have been for going on my 5th week!! I'm doing it and loving it! I want to get out there every day and run! So i'll take that small victory!

I think i might become a runner yet!

Dang, I'm sorry y'all! I know I've been MIA but work has been cra cra! AND when work is crazy then the rest of my life follows suit. But do you want to know one really awesome thing that HAS happened in my life? Running.

I NEVER thought I would say that but, it's true! It's only been 3 weeks but it's happening! I've made a friend of another Mom at my kids daycare (I know that's amazing enough, someone likes me!) and we're dedicated to running together at least 3 times a week, y'all we've actually been going 4+!!!! HOLLA FOR A DOLLA!

We've been just doing our slow thang and following the couch 2 5k program on my i-phone some days. We may not be fast and we may not cover a ton of distance but we're DOING IT. And here's the best part, yesterday I was willing to run whether my friend could go or not. THAT'S A FIRST!

Now I'm not going all unrealistic on you and saying that I'm going to be this marathon runner or anything but I've realized you don't have to be in order to be a runner! You just have to go out and do it! Even Chris is impressed with how long I've stuck with this already!

SO coming up I've got a 5k twilight run in Frederick, MD on May 4th and then another 5k (which is the color run!!! CAN'T FREAKING WAIT!!) on May 19th. Lastly I've signed up for a 1/2 marathon in Baltimore MD in October! OH HOLY HELL! I don't have huge dreams of running the whole 13.1 miles BUT I WILL finish it! That's my goal. The.End. And Now, I actually feel like I will be able to!

So get your run on people, and when I say run, I mean slow jog walk!

BOOM!

PS If you have any running tips, favorite running products, or if you want me to sign up to do a run with you let me know!!! I'm up for all of the motivation and accountablity I can get!!!