Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Have you ever...

...Had a moment where you realized you were single handedly killing your family? I just had one.

The hubs asked me to work on the budget because I'm a boss when it comes to figuring out where our money is going and where it should be going, etc.

Guess what... It's all going to stuff that I can control but I'm not. I feel like a selfish spending whore.

Here's my biggest problem. I have an addiction to instant gratification. This is why I'm fat, this is why I spend too much.

It takes time to see the accumulation of saving money... it takes time to see the results of eating right and working out. But you know what? That pair of shoes looks great on me NOW and my face hole loves that donut here and now and BOY did that nap feel a LOT better than working out! I'm telling ya!

But I'm killing my family. I'm taking away from our future hopes and dreams and I'm ruining my husbands morale.

We will never be able to move, even if the market turns around with my spending. We will never be able to go on vacations, we will never be able to do fun things with the kids. This is all stuff the hubs keeps telling me but I don't really hear him. I shut down and click Pay Now while I eat ice cream when he's talking to me... I'm a horrible wife!

I did a pie chart (it's wicked pretty) and a tracker sheet with our budget. Do you know we spent over $1000 at the GROCERY store?!?!? That doesn't even include other foods that we bought at Wal-mart or Target or the food my mother-in-law regularly stocks our shelves with. WTH!?!?! WHO DOES THAT!?!? That's a lot of food!

I spent $550 on things for myself last month! I did need some new clothes (nursing bras were falling apart and clothes are wonky) but I did NOT need all the cheap jewelry or books or lattes, etc.

Dinning out? over $390... Um who needs to eat out that much when we are spending over a grand at the grocery store?!?!?

I'm an emotional spender/eater. I spend and/or eat when I'm tired, depressed, run down, you name it. It makes me feel momentarily happy. It's my drug of choice.

I need a spending cold shower and FAST. It's no joke people and it's got to start now!

Any help would be awesome!


  1. I'd love to help but I am in the EXACT same boat! My downfall, credit cards. And now thanks to monthly payments I NEVER have any money. It sucks!

  2. I've heard that some families make a budget based on cash. So you take out in cash what you want to spend on one thing for the month (for example groceries) and then once that cash has been spent, you just can't get any more groceries that month. Credit cards are only used for other bills that are paid electronically.

  3. I know you pain. While our amounts are different, I have been there. I don't know what your ultimate goals are with money, but I recommend looking into Dave Ramsey. Even if you don't follow his steps or principles, he makes a lot of points about money & saving that motivated me enough to change our spending habits. He puts in terms of, if you saved the money you spent on a latte every day, you would have xxx amount of money in xxx amount of years. And when spending gets out of check, I highly recommend a cash spending system. When it comes to the grocery store, my husband and I Used to spend $800/month for the two of us. We now spend less than $400/month for my husband, daughter, and I, all because I meal plan. And we get out enough cash to eat out once per week. We have paid off over $30000 in about 3 years AND took an all cash paid trip to Germany for almost 3 weeks AND moved to Japan without putting anything on a credit card. You can do whatever you want financially if you just stick to it.

  4. If it makes you feel any better, we spend the same amount on groceries every month. its called living in the DC area! My parents just moved here last year from Michigan right before my second LO was born and my mom almost went into cardiac arrest after leaving the grocery store the first few times. The same cart that would have cost $50 in Michigan cost $80 here. Same with going out to dinner- they always say they could go out to a diner for breaskfast in the small town in Michigan where they lived for $6.00. Not each- just $6.00 before tip. Here- you go to Silver Diner and it is $6 for one egg. I think you will feel better if you curb the lattes. For us- I am sort of like you in that I have a hard time telling myself no for small things. I can easily say no to the new desk we want that is $500 but cant say no to the cute top for $14, but it adds up. So I do not carry the card attached to our joint account which has the majority of our funds. I only carry around my ATM card associated wiht my pitiful pre-marriage account that hardly has any money in it, except for the $1000 for groceries each month and a tiny bit of extra for miscellaneous items. That way, I sort of have to "wait" to buy other things and usually the desire is gone once the proximity to the item is gone :-)