phases

So kids go through MANY phases in their little lives. Some are fun (dress up... hello cowboy boots EVERY. DAY.) and others will piss you off royally (enter the words "NO" and "MINE!"). Kinsley is experiencing two new phases. The "I'll shut down when you reprimand me" phase and the "I really hate grown men that dress up" phase.

See lately, when anyone but me reprimands her (and sometimes me) she will immediately drop her head and look at the floor, slump her shoulders and just shutdown... sometimes even cry. I know this is a phase but I feel conflicted about it. Are you supposed to nurture her, or will that enforce this behavior? Do I tell her to snap out of it and go sit in timeout until she can listen nicely? Or does that hurt her more? Or, do I ignore it, and what is that teaching her about how she's acting and how to respect elders?

Yesterday Northern Cowboy shouted out a "Stop Kinsley" when she was about to do something she shouldn't and it could have potentially hurt herself. Immediately, head down, shoulders slumped, full on crocodile tears. I want her to know that Mommy and Daddy mean business when we tell her to do (or not do) something, but I also don't want this to continue.

Next new phase, hating men that dress up. Side eyes to Santa, Magicians, and others characters. Some guy was at the library putting on a show of sorts and her daycare went to see him. She sat the whole time with her head buried in her teachers chest. A Magician came the to the daycare to put on a show for the kids, now while she told me all about the bunny coming out of the hat, etc, she sat the whole time on her teachers lap and wouldn't be moved. Lastly, we went to Amish country this past Saturday... we went into a store and there happened to Santa in there (I shit you not, Santa in JULY!)... well Kinsley Lost.Her.Shit. There's no other way to put it. She saw him and went SCREAMING to my legs and wouldn't let go of me crying the whole time. She calmed down as we kept walking through the store and she ran into him again as he was going to his break and WHOA she lost it again. The funny thing about all of these incidents is the hours, days, and weeks following them she will randomly come up to you and say "Mommy, I don't like that man" or "Mommy Santa not my friend".

So what do you do? I understand children have phases and fears. I was scared to sleep with my door closed until I was in middle school. But when is it time to nurture that fear and when is it time to tell them to thoughen up and they are hurting that mans feelings by making them feel like a predator?

Also, is it bad that I want to keep running up to Kinsley and say "LOOK Kinsley, SANTA!!" Bawh hahaha!