Wednesday, December 21, 2011

What's on my mind

I have pictures to share (Parker's room, Work's holiday party, Kinsley not too happy with Santa) but ALL i can think about is getting to give birth and then lose weight and THEN try to dress in something other than too tight clothes, too frumpy clothes, or yoga pants ALL the time. I dream of working out and being that slim put together Mom where I throw on some designer jeans (that i've never owned) a t-shirt, scarf and bangles and looking like the Mom all other mom's envy. I'm DYING for that. To the point where i've almost considered not breast feeding so i wouldn't have to worry about my supply, just worry about loosing weight. See you can't be TOO drastic with weight loss if you're going to breast feed. WHICH i know for weight loss in the long run you shouldn't be drastic anyway... BUT OMG!!! I just want to get my body back. Not my prebaby body, because that body needed A LOT of work too. I want to get my slim, I don't feel like i have to suck it in at all times body back.

Right now I'm at 192. Before pregnancy i was at 172. Between K and this pregnancy I was often at 165. Before K i was 165. Wedding time i was around 145. I want to be 135. Yep, there's my number, that's where i want to be after this baby is born. By February 2013 I want to be 135. That's it. The end. I know i CAN do it, but will I? Will i put in the work to actually do it? lets say after Parker is born I get back down to 175 fairly easy like I did with Kinsley. That would be 40 lbs in one year to loose. BUT i want to breastfeed for a year so i can't drop it like it's hot or else i won't be able to breast feed.

UH! See, I still have 2 months to go and this is all i can think about! I want to start NOW! This pregnancy (as happy as i am about getting to meet Parker and love him and hold him and every) is making me sort of depressed. Maybe because I feel like a whale that can't keep up with Kinsley, can't bend down, and I get out of breath going up the stairs... but let me be honest, I was out of breath going up the stairs PRE-pregnancy.

I just want a MOM that has lost the weight, WHILE breast feeding, WHILE working full time, to help me along the way... I want a personal trainer without the fees, since with two kids in daycare i won't be able to pay the fees.

AND THEN, i want to be on What Not to Wear so they can buy me all the clothes i need! What do you want for Christmas? lol


  1. haha ooooh I so felt like this towards the end of my pregnancy with Luke! I found myself thinking very mean thoughts about anyone with a slim waist and nice legs. Some days all I could think about was finally slipping in to my cute skinny jeans again.

    for the record, that still hasnt happened. I mean I can get the on...but there is nothing skinny about them once they are on. steps

  2. totally understand! I have a goal weight as well that I still can't reach!

    However, I did breastfeed my daughter for over a year and just let the weight come off as it could. I kept working out and watching what I ate. It had no effect on my supply at all. But I understand that everyone is different. Best of luck!