"Well, I would tell you to rest but that's not going to happen"

That was my doctors advice this morning.

I went in for my delicious Glucose test and took that thing down like a good shot. It wasn't a good shot and it was much larger than a shot, but I would have made the hubs proud!

They take me back eventually and ask how things are going, so I describe in as much detail as I can that my vagina is ripping open and I have stabbing pains come through my coochie-coo and when that's not happening I'm so sore from said pains that i feel bruised like I've been riding a horse cross-country.

So they "take a look". Yea you know what THAT means. They checked for varicose veins (did you know you could get those in there? I didn't and wish I still didn't), none. Checked for dilatation, none. Then he does this thing where he pushes in certain areas and I do this thing where I scream and try not to kick him. And he's all like "Yep that's it!" and then he does it again and I try not to sumoplex him and he says "well lets not do that again" and he proceeds to tell me that Parker is moving my pelvic bones in preparation for labor. NOT that labor is soon, he's just getting things ready by placing his head as deep into my crotch as possible (maybe he's cold? shy?) and that's moving bones. AND as a result from all of this irritation I have swelling that is making me feel bruised. The.End.

So since i can't take it easy (thank you Kinsley) I get to take Tylenol. And be in pain. Great.

What is it with my kids and wanting to hurt me and break bones? It's like he's trying to compete with his sister's moving of my tailbone. Sibling rivalry already? Great...