Go Erin, It's my birthday, Go Erin!

No It's really my birthday and i'm like WHOA old... 30!!! HA... the hubs asks me this morning if i felt old... I replied "No i feel mature" which is a joke in itself! lol. i don't know now that I'm 30 maybe i'll get some respect around here! No? well it was worth a shot.

So i have amazing balls co-workers. I mean for real, look at this

That rocked my pants off! I mean not actually pants off, even though i had to change my pants this morning once already because Parker decided to give me a birthday pee ALL OVER ME! I'm sitting in my gift wrapped chair right now! I had to remove a few balloons and the wrapping on my keyboard but I'm leaving the rest because it makes me smile~

Kinsley is in a great mood today because she got to take cupcakes to school today in honor of my birthday! She pretty much peed her pants with excitement. Other excitement? Chris hung her a swing in the basement, not sure what she's happier about.

Today the man and I are going to do it up right with a gift certificate to Morton's Steakhouse, holla! They are also running a special so with the money we'll save from that special i think we can afford a bottle of wine too!!! BAM Momma's getting tipsy!

So, I would say this is the best way to bring in 30! jealous yet?

Just a photo fail today...

That me... at work... needing a do-over. I want a do-over on my outfit choice for the day... I want a do -over in my hair for the day... I want a do-over in everything i put in my mouth today (cake, sub, pizza, candy bars, blah blah blah), I want a do-over in shopping over working out at lunch today. I want a do-over!

My I'M GOING TO START ON ME TODAY post turned out to be a load of shit. I did drink my smoothie all week so i think that's helping my energy a little, not a lot.

Here's what I HATE about pictures of me... My freaking head is so small and my boobs are so big that my back and shoulders are so big to support them and it all just looks weird. I mean how did this body happen? BLAH!

It doesn't help that i can't find a nursing bra that fits me and is comfortable to save my life, but hey only 5 more months of that right? I HATE my arms and if i were to turn sideways you would see that they are a wide as my body. I HATE my body, I HATE my teenage acne face, and what I hate even more is I'm scared I'll put these image issues onto my daughter.

I read blog after blog after blog of women who just got tired of looking and feeling like shit and they have fixed their shit... I on the other hand am right there with them but have no dedication. I'm so quick to cheat or give up or whatever. I need CONSTANT accountability by someone who will look at me when I tell them that my PawPaw died yesterday (he did) and say "I'm sorry for your loss now put down that comfort pizza and get your ass into the gym... him dying has NOTHING to do with you eating and treating your body like shit". Instead I'm surrounded by people who tell me they will work out with me tomorrow (it's always tomorrow), or we'll start weighting next month, blah blah.... and then I smack my acne ridden forehead and hate myself for needing to depend on others to make myself happy. But I don't know how to make myself happy because I'm not truly happy unless other are happy with me. I'm a pleaser.

I really don't want to hate myself anymore. I need a plan. I DO need support. I need someone to tell me what to do until I can do it myself. This is my cry for help.

Pinperation

You all know what i'm talking about right? Pintrest. By looking at pintrest you get pinperation... it's a mix of persperation from worry/sweating all the stuff you want to do but aren't doing and inspiration. That's what I'm trying to do right now for an outfit for Sunday. We are going on a crab cruise down the Potomac in DC for the hubs work. The hubs is one of the big guys in the company, so I like to TRY to be trophie wife... problem 1. I weigh TOO much... Problem 2. clothes SUCK... Problem 3. I never seem to be appropreately dressed! WTF?!?!

Example one: They had a company outting at the ball park. They got really nice expensive seats that you had to use a special entrance for etc. I wore jean shorts (the kind that look like trouser pants but shorts) with a red tank top, layered with a strip shirt, a long pearl/diamond necklace and sparkle studded sandels.

There I am, just turn me around...

This was over dressed. I thought I was cute, casual, and fitting... Nope i was over dressed. I mean it wasn't like slap you in the face and call me a limo but it was not in line with the other.

Example 2. We went to a wedding the other weekend. I wore a black dress (the only thing i could find that looked cute on my buheemuth) with my hair up, black hose (that i ditched after the ceremony because i realized it was like whoa over dressed), and satin bow heels. I looked like I was going for a black tie optional wedding while EVERYONE else was dressed for a nice summer wedding. In my head it was September (after labor day), at night, at a country club. Slap in the face wrong.

So this weekend we are going to eat crabs, on a boat, in DC. It's going to be in the 60s and raining. I hate everything in my closet. What would you wear?

I'm thinking I have to find a way to make jeans look good on me, roll them up and throw on some boat shoes (not because I'm that person that has to dress to the theme of the occassion, even though I am, but because we will be ON A BOAT in the RAIN... give Momma some traction!) and the top wise I have no clue! I want to be comfortable, I want to be cute (damn I've really got to work on this weightloss), we're eating crabs! See the delima?

It doesn't help that I'm working with a budget of 0 and an ass of like whoa!~ Plus I don't know how to dress for myself anymore. In college I was young and skinny. I could wear everything and anything and never try it on first. Now I'm going to be THIRTY people... I mean in my book that means daisy dukes (my cellulite is laughing right now) and certain shirts are out of the question. Like all these great shirts without sleeves or even better CAP sleeves. What idiot invented Cap-sleeves? It's a picture frame for my bat wing arms. Not.Cute. Oh and the lovely dolman sleeve shirts? It's like giant arrows pointing to the chickmunk gut I lovingly refer to as my third child.

What would you wear if you were trying to be a trophie wife?

PS Did you catch that... i'm going to be THIRTY on Friday!!!! Say what?!?! Pass me a cuppacake!

Photo dump day 3~

So while in NC we needed to take Kinsley to "Mommy and Daddy's school". Kinsley was a little shocked by how big it is since the only "school" she knows is her daycare.

But she got comfortable pretty quickly and informed us she would be going to NC STATE!!!! YEA!

She's even learning how to do her Wolfpack fingers!

When we went home we literally got off the interstate, stopped at Target and then went straight to a birthday party for Kinsley's good friend Josie. It was at a bounce house place so it was PERFECT after a long trip in the car!

These are our neighbors and Parker's BFF Collin.

This little cutie gets all of Kinsley's old clothes and if she weren't so cute it would break my heart to give them away.

Parker LOVED being out of his car seat and loved taking in all the action!

Damn those blue eyes!

Please don't ask me why she smiles like this when I say to say cheese... it's creepy

So that was the end of the baby shower weekend. It was a huge success. Kinsley didn't have a single potty accident the whole time, even in the car. NOW we may have stopped every hour on the hour but that's cool, we can handle that~

Life's a Parrot

So Kinsley has been in rare form lately. She's a little chatter box, to the point where sometimes i just have to tell her to give Momma a break and go watch Mickey. I mean the kid talks about EVERYTHING. We don't get a lot of "Why" questions from her because, well she knows everything, duh~ She would be GREAT at a DIY blog because she will walk you through every step of everything a million times. I guess it's her way of walking herself through it or reminding herself how to act. The best is when she gets everything all over the place though...
"At school we sit and wait for our friends to sit down before we eat, right Mom? And we lay our hands in our laps and we sing *enter her singing a song i don't know* and we eat and It's Becca's birthday and we have cupcakes and sing *sing again* Mommy Ryan push me, and I read a book because baby like Elmo but I be quite because you're putting Parkie to bed, right Mom?"

And ON and ON and ON

And then she gives me little reminders to watch what I'm saying around her...

The other day we are at the table and I tell Kinsley "If you do good eating then you can have a cupcake when you finish your dinner"
Chris: "What cupcake?"
Me: "Did you EAT the CUPCAKE?!?!"
Chris: "I didn't know it was for her..."
Kinsley: "Dad you eat my cupcake?"
Chris: "Yeah baby I'm sorry  i didn't know it was yours"
Kinsley: "Aw man! What am I going to do with you?"


Randomly Kinsley was walking up the stairs talking to me and then saying "You're killing me Mom!"


Life with a parrot toddler~

Photo dump catch up, day 2~

So a few weeks back I helped to host a baby shower for my best friend in North Carolina. I co-hosted it with my awesome friend Beth and honestly I'm not sure how we pulled it off! lol. We were up late, got up early, we were late getting it started but it happened and I think it turned out pretty amazing!

Beth had a friend make the embroidered oneies! LOVE! And she had another friend design all the paper products!

We made a sea salt scrub off of etsy... it was sea salt and dawn dish soap, you just get the kind of soft hands!

We did a brunch theme for the food. The Menu was: Amish casserole, strawberries and french toast skewers, fruit salad, ham delights, marinated shrimp, Oreo truffle balls, various dips, cupcakes and mimosas!

GO NC STATE!

And here's the beautiful Mommy to be and my amazing co-host Beth! We also had the shower at Beth's house while she was trying to get it ready to go on the market... she literally had carpet laid hours before we arrived on Friday!

Me and my BFF.

Don't worry we let our daughters help us too!

But Beth was smart! She had the brilliant idea to hire a babysitter for the kids so we could actually HOST the party and not just be Mommies! Here they are modeling their swim suits before the babysitter took them out to play in the sprinkler!

The hambone~

It was a huge success and I really want to go back now to visit more with Kinsley. Kinsley says "we go to Mommy and Daddy school and stay with Logan, right?" Logan is my friend's daughter, i think she had fun and wants to go back too!

Photo dump for the day!

Here's how this is going to work. I'm not going to clever and tie all of these in together in some sweet story. I'm going to say what the "event" is, give a caption or two and let you see how much my kids have grown! Deal? Today's event? My parents visited over Labor Day!

Parker is EVERYWHERE! No crawling but rolling and scooting!

Kinsley is a hambone with apparently a belly... don't know where that came from, she doesn't normally have one... lol

We swam at my parents hotel... oh yeah and i got a new camera for my birthday so i'm working on it~

"Uh Sept" AKA Uncle Seph, AKA my brother~

We fed geese

That we weren't supposed to be feeding...

Parker ate Flan for the first time!

He loved it!

Mimmie got abused by Parker and loved it!

Kinsley taught my Mom how to cook

We took Bath pictures because I love bath pictures

The end, see ya tomorrow~