Thursday, September 27, 2012


You all know what i'm talking about right? Pintrest. By looking at pintrest you get pinperation... it's a mix of persperation from worry/sweating all the stuff you want to do but aren't doing and inspiration. That's what I'm trying to do right now for an outfit for Sunday. We are going on a crab cruise down the Potomac in DC for the hubs work. The hubs is one of the big guys in the company, so I like to TRY to be trophie wife... problem 1. I weigh TOO much... Problem 2. clothes SUCK... Problem 3. I never seem to be appropreately dressed! WTF?!?!

Example one: They had a company outting at the ball park. They got really nice expensive seats that you had to use a special entrance for etc. I wore jean shorts (the kind that look like trouser pants but shorts) with a red tank top, layered with a strip shirt, a long pearl/diamond necklace and sparkle studded sandels.

There I am, just turn me around...

This was over dressed. I thought I was cute, casual, and fitting... Nope i was over dressed. I mean it wasn't like slap you in the face and call me a limo but it was not in line with the other.

Example 2. We went to a wedding the other weekend. I wore a black dress (the only thing i could find that looked cute on my buheemuth) with my hair up, black hose (that i ditched after the ceremony because i realized it was like whoa over dressed), and satin bow heels. I looked like I was going for a black tie optional wedding while EVERYONE else was dressed for a nice summer wedding. In my head it was September (after labor day), at night, at a country club. Slap in the face wrong.

So this weekend we are going to eat crabs, on a boat, in DC. It's going to be in the 60s and raining. I hate everything in my closet. What would you wear?

I'm thinking I have to find a way to make jeans look good on me, roll them up and throw on some boat shoes (not because I'm that person that has to dress to the theme of the occassion, even though I am, but because we will be ON A BOAT in the RAIN... give Momma some traction!) and the top wise I have no clue! I want to be comfortable, I want to be cute (damn I've really got to work on this weightloss), we're eating crabs! See the delima?

It doesn't help that I'm working with a budget of 0 and an ass of like whoa!~ Plus I don't know how to dress for myself anymore. In college I was young and skinny. I could wear everything and anything and never try it on first. Now I'm going to be THIRTY people... I mean in my book that means daisy dukes (my cellulite is laughing right now) and certain shirts are out of the question. Like all these great shirts without sleeves or even better CAP sleeves. What idiot invented Cap-sleeves? It's a picture frame for my bat wing arms. Not.Cute. Oh and the lovely dolman sleeve shirts? It's like giant arrows pointing to the chickmunk gut I lovingly refer to as my third child.

What would you wear if you were trying to be a trophie wife?

PS Did you catch that... i'm going to be THIRTY on Friday!!!! Say what?!?! Pass me a cuppacake!

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