Friday, March 15, 2013

The obsession has hit me

I have always loved my kids. Despite my constant complaining about them, I LOVE them... to the point where I'm even half crazy enough to entertain the idea of a third... i know lost my ever loving mind... but I think the hubs will wrangle in my crazies. ANYWAY it has hit me with my son. The Mother-Son love/obsession. I've always been enamored with him, being my last baby and my boy, etc. But this last week it's gone over the top, so much so that I almost feel guilty about it because I'm not quite there right now with Kinsley.

Kinsley has always been independent. She was never clingy with me... she is more clingy now then she ever was in the past. She's my little buddy, friend, shopping companion. She's my mini-me and I love every amazing thing about her.

But Parker is my boy. Wow, something about the bond between Mommy and her boy. I get it now, the Daddy and his daughter. I guess because Kinsley is a girl and I am too, I know what she's capable of? But Parker is my Son, my baby, and I am his Mommy and I will ALWAYS be the first woman in his life.

Eventually I'll move to number two, like I should when he gets married... but I'm going to pretend that day will never come. Because right now when he sees me there's no one else in the room. It's just him and me. He's slobbery open mouth kisses are waiting for me and no one else!

It's strange but I felt I needed to talk about it because it hit me this week like a two-by-four between the eyes, this bond/love. I wasn't expecting it. I was expecting what I've felt for Kinsley. Love/admiration/wonder... but not this. Not this feeling that I find hard to put into words. It's not that I love him more than Kinsley because I certainly don't. It's just different. People always said I would get it when I had a boy, well I get it and I hope you'll get it one day too!
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1 comment:

  1. Though I only have one bebe, he is my ENTIRE world. The way he comes to me when he's hurt or doesn't feel well. I'm the only one he wants. It makes my heart swell up so much I think it might literally burst. :)