Guys it's NEVER going to get easier...

Kids I want to apologize. I'm not a Mom that picks you up full of energy, I don't get down on the ground and play with your like I used to. Heck I don't even sit and color. I don't know what to tell you other than, I'm tired. I love you more than I can say but I'm just tired. You'll know, you'll go through this one day with kiddos of your own and I hope I can be there to help you the way your Grandma has helped me.

Here's what my typical day looks like:
5:30AM Get up, get ready, get lunches packed, get y'all up (if you're not already up and in my bed begging for TV shows PARKER!)
6:40AM Leave the house for daycare
7:10AM Leave y'all at daycare after setting up your breakfast for you and multiple goodbyes.
8:10AM Arrive to work late, hope no one notices or cares.
Lunch: Run errands we won't have time for later or sleep b/c y'all were waking me up all night
4:40PM Leave work late in case someone did notice me getting in late.
5:30-5:45PM Pick y'all up from school
6:00PM Get home, do homework (yep even in preschool), get you a snack, get dinner ready, eat, etc
7:15 ish Bathtime, bedtime, etc
8:00PM you're in bed, normally

Now I SHOULD be working out or something, but normally I'm cleaning dishes, doing laundry or something... or heck, i've given up and i'm zoning out on the couch. It's a rats race we live. Soon we'll be adding in weekday activities to try to make our schedules that much more challenging. YEA!

Just find a job you love babies. It makes it REALLY hard for me every day to go to work knowing that I really want to stay home and take care of y'all and our house. I don't want to be at work... especially one that is so far away (HA i shouldn't be talking with the commute your Daddy has).

Y'all are lucky you're so darn cute and worth it! Love you to the moon and back.

It's time to vote kiddos

Alrighty Kiddos, I want the take away from today's lesson to be GET YOUR BUTT OUT THERE AND VOTE! Hopefully my guidance in previous post will teach you how to vote, NOW DO IT. I don't ever want to hear you complain about the state of our economy, your rights, etc unless you voted.

Here's some of my issues though with our voting system.

1. People should HAVE to show a government issued ID! Period the end. AWWW we are discriminating against the poor that can't afford an ID (even though a LARGE majority CAN afford beer)... well we give them food stamps and housing, why not an ID? Think about it!

2. Our dear president Obama (aka the worst thing ever to happen to this county) is let illegals vote. Um A. They shouldn't even BE here B. They shouldn't be able to get jobs that LEGAL people need and C. They aren't citizens Get them out of here and NO, NO votes for them!

Fix these and A LOT of the fraud will go out the window.

Well I thought I would document a few pictures in here since I've just been spouting off at the mouth a lot lately... that might still happen in this post....

Here's the Family... Still only two kids, trying to keep it that way. If you want to know why we aren't having 3, look at my previous post... oye. I'm still working on winning that weight battle but I'm not too down on myself. I have a lot of improving to do but I'm not BAD looking. I think I look nice, I just want to FEEL nice so I want the weight to go so I have more energy and so I know I'm taking care of myself the way I should! (I brought my one saddle bags to the Rodeo! HA)

Oh these two. So we have a family we hang out with a lot and LOVE and well, Kinsley loves one of them too! HAHA. OMG it's too much with their cuteness ALL.The.Time.

This kids started a new school/daycare and it's made SUCH a difference. In this sign it says she's starting her first day of Pre-K but actually she's in the Kindergarten class. That's right my child is a genius! That's right I said it, all you other parents be jealous. Sadly I don't think it's anything I did so I can't give you tips. She's just awesome all on her own accord! (Don't ask me about that face, we're having picture taking issues lately)

Here's the problem child himself, you see that smile... oye, every.time. He's a hellova handful but that face! *Head to desk* he wiggles his way back in every time. 

This was their first school field trip with the new school. It was fun. I'm just so glad I get to make these memories with them! 

The new school is right up my alley, full of Moms who LOVE doing birthday parties as much as I do! Their budgets are a bit more than mine but the love is still there! Anna and Else attended this one and did face painting and games, so we HAD to dress accordingly! 

We've been keeping busy, every day of every weekend, which is why I'm not on here as much, but see, they are growing and happy! 

A friend joked with me recently that this was my "raise them from the grave" blog now and it's true. My post are centered around now what I want them to know (based on the day and  how I'm feeling) if I didn't have anymore days with them. Things I think I would be curious about if my parents passed away before I grew up. Lessons I've learned, etc. I'm not a perfect person, FAR from it, and some of my "Please God Just Go To Sleep" rants are so when they are older they know it's normal to love your kids but need a break. To know I tried my best. To know the normal for us so we don't ever forget. I don't want to forget my sleepless nights and only remember the happy visits to the pumpkin patch because the pumpkin patch isn't our whole story. Our story is about the bonds we made in the middle of the night through a sleepy haze of "hold me momma".

I love you Kiddos! Keep it Real, Real FUN!

My Dear Son, you're a brat...

I mean it's true, I'm sorry. I'm your mother, I love you to the moon and back but you.are.a.brat. At the ripe old age of Two and a half you can make a grown person want to climb into the fetal position and scratch their eyes out. You're not happy unless I let you eat ketchup with Popsicles for breakfast while leaving your sister to fend for herself, while allowing you to jump on the kitchen table in your underwear watching your 1,000th episode of Paw Patrol. You're a brat.

God forbid I need to go downstairs in the morning to make breakfast or lunches, or hell to get a cup of coffee to deal with your mood swing that I KNOW is coming... no no, forget it. Lord Help me if I need to use the bathroom EVER, it's not allowed (NO MOMMA NO POTTY! WHAAAAAA!).

I tell you to stop and you wait to see if I really mean it, when you realize I do because I'm coming at your like a swat team you turn into full survival mode and start catapulting anything within reach, toys, pillows, shoes... all fair game.

I know part of your brattiness if my fault. Honestly I get home and the follow through sounds SO exhausting. And you've been given so many "outs" from people that even you recite them when you're about to get into trouble, "I tired Momma". It wouldn't be all THAT bad except I'm TIRED. You've decided that this is a good time to boycott sleeping. REALLY? You walk into my room on a nightly basis. I walk you back to your room, tuck you and then we rinse and repeat. JUST STAY SLEEP!!!!

So my dear son, your reckoning is coming and it's named Momma. Oh yeah, brace yourself because I've gotten so tired and annoyed that I'm on the verge of crazy and I might just take that crazy out on every one of your toys! That crazy might just turn itself into only veggies ALL the time, breakfast lunch and dinner until you can say "I love it Momma, more please". Ontil you can stop using your sister as a dart board and tackle dummy and the dog as a horse, there will be a new sheriff in town and I don't think you're going to like her very much, because Momma don't do bratty kids!

Kinsley I need you to know

You are beautiful. Makeup doesn't make you beautiful. Clothes don't make you beautiful. Other people telling you that you are beautiful doesn't make you beautiful. What does?

You looking out for your little brother on the moon bounce
You picking out toys from the playroom to give to the less fortunate
You choosing to have all of your friends bring a new toy for charity rather than for you for your birthday
You sticking up for your friends when your other friends are not so nice
You choosing to walk away from a situation you didn't like
You reading
You never giving up

You make YOU beautiful. Physically many women need validation of their beauty, and physically you're a beautiful little girl, but never put your worth in that beauty. Put your worth in the prayers you say before meals and bedtime, in the actions you show to others. You're a stunning child and I'm so proud of you every day!

Oh my child that doesn't sleep

Yes you Parker, I'm talking about YOU! Kinsley had moments of issues with sleeping but YOU, it's like you enjoying slowly torturing your parents. Your sister who is 2 years and 2 months older than you often STILL won't get out of her bed at night OR in the morning, she still calls for us. YOU, oh you... you will happily walk out of your room right after I've put you to bed. Does it matter if we threaten to take away your stickers? No... what about spank you, nope you don't even bat an eye. Out you come and then back you go SCREAMING. It's awesome. You also like to wake up before the birds and come into our room. Sometimes I can convince you that normal people are still sleeping and you should be to. When that happens you settle your little heater in RIGHT beside me and often kick my kidneys to let me know you're still awake. When I can't convince you, I get berated with "Chuggington" "Water" "Snack" until I give up and give in. UH.

I am a sleeper, always have been, and you are my trial. It's not like you don't need the sleep. If you don't get enough WATCH OUT, because son, you're the King of tantrums. You make them epic, throwing, screaming, vomiting, heart string pulling... oh you're good.

One day I'm sure I'll look back on this and smile (ha... mmmkay) but not today, today it's war.

K you did it again

All in all I have a pretty typical little girl. She's into princesses, went through a "I only want to wear dresses" phase, she loves getting her hair and nails done, again, pretty typical girl.

But she has these moments where I'm like "HELL YEA LITTLE GIRL"!

See I'm a preppy tomboy. I ran through the woods with my brother and his friends, while wearing my high heels. I changed my breaks in college with pink tools, while wearing pearls. I get it done. I want that for my little girl. I don't coddle her, I tell her to shake it off and toughen up. I kiss her boo boos, but also tell her to get over something. I want her to be her own, tough, person.

Well, until recently, do you know what her favorite color was? Not pink, not purple, it was Orange! Right? Do you know how hard it is to find little girls clothes in ORANGE? Like ONLY orange? Now she's into rainbow, SOOO much easier.

In 5 months she's going to have her 5th birthday party. We've gone through various themes since literally the day after her 4th birthday. My Little Pony, Rainbow Party, and various combinations of equally girly things. Right now, and for the last few weeks though, it's been Pirate. Why? I don't know. We don't watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates or anything Pirate related. She hasn't had a friend to have a Pirate party recently (like 2  years ago they did)... so I'm not sure where this is coming from but honestly, I think it's awesome! It's so not typical for a little girl and I hope she sticks with it.

Kinsley I hope you are always okay with being different. You are your own person and don't let anyone else ever tell you that you need to change!

BE ready babies, this post is going to get me a lot of flak

Your Momma is a hardcore republican. Like as in to just say I have conservative views is like saying Miss Piggy thinks Kermit is pretty cool. Understatement.

I want you to know this about your Momma because it shapes a lot of who I am and what I believe. Here's the beliefs that make me part of who I am.

1. I do NOT support abortion. I do not think birth control is abortion, but I do think the morning after pill is borderline. I understand people wanting an abortion in case of rape and incest BUT I feel God allowed for a baby to be made in that situation for a reason... we should find out what that reason is rather then kill it. I think too many people use abortion as a "solution" to their problems. I've heard people say "I could never give my baby away", yet they can kill it? I have known so many family that have been blessed by adoption that I can't even begin to understand why a mother would rather abort her child then give it a chance in a loving home... I believe from the second those clusters of cells allows a pregnancy stick to read pregnant it's a baby. Whether it can survive on its own out side of the womb or not, it's a baby. I've had the privilege of seeing y'alls ultrasounds from the beginning and yes, at 8 weeks you looked like jelly beans, but shortly after (because i had MANY with Kinsley) you had arms and fingers and noses... but you ALWAYS had a heart beat! While we were lucky enough to plan for y'all (because it's not that hard to use birth control) it wouldn't have mattered.

2. I believe we have the right to bear arms. IF you're trained, IF you get a licence and register your gun. Your Daddy has guns. He's responsible about them. They are in a safe. He's been trained on how to use one, as have I. Your Pop Pop has taken me to the shooting range and taught me about how powerful guns are and how they should be respected. Taking guns away from responsible users isn't going to take them out of the hands of criminals, news flash, Criminals get them illegally.

3. We need to shutdown our boarders. Would it be great for everyone to live in the land of the free? SURE, is it practical? NO. Sorry, we can't let everyone in and we can't support everyone that's here already. The influx of people is ridiculous right now and it is taking away precious tax dollars from schools and the children that are already here and starving. We need to take care of who is here and not let everyone else in.

4. That being said, we are a super power, so if we see wrong in the world (hello World War II, Syria, Iran, etc) then we need to help those that can't help themselves.

5. I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. Now here's where it gets tricky for me. Religiously I believe marriage is between a man and a women. In the bible it states this. I would never be a member of church that married same sex couples. BUT I also believe in the separation of church and state. And while I don't want the state coming into my church and telling me what of the bible I'm allowed to believe, and I don't want other peoples religions influencing my laws (example Islamic law), I don't know if I think my religion can tell the state to not marry same sex couples. I am conflicted babies. I want to stand with my religion, but I lean that the state should be allowed to marry them. Still praying about that one...

6. I believe the federal government has too much power and more should be given back to the states and the people. I'm so tired of people expecting the government to swoop in and fix everything for them. Fix it yourself. If you can't and need help then there should be limits to that help and stipulations. LIKE drug testing. If I have to have a drug test to get a job, others should have to have a drug test to get free money and food from the government. If you want to collect unemployment then you better show me you're looking for a job and know there's a limit on how long you can collect it. Accountability and limits. How about instead of GIVING everyone welfare and food stamps we teach them how to get off of it?

7. I believe in free enterprise. Economic growth and innovations have made our country great, the thought of the self made man is what makes our country great. The fact that you can come from nothing and become something is what makes our country great... not Government interference.

8. I believe in a balanced budget, not raising the debit ceiling. If that means programs and earmarks get cut then so be it, we don't have the money so STOP SPENDING IT! 17 trillion + is enough!

9. I believe in a strong military. I think we should be ready. It's been proven time and time again that the US has many enemies in the world and I think we need to be ready to protect ourselves. When we scale back is when we are most vulnerable. Are we in a time of peace with nothing to do? Send the troops to our boarders, they always need help!

I could keep going  but that's just a brief explanation of my core beliefs. I want you to know how your Momma stands and that I'm proud of  my stance. I've taken the time to educate myself. I read, I listen, I stay informed. I don't let the media shape my beliefs and values, especially since MOST of the media is VERY liberal and only gives you their biased views. I pray when I don't know what to think, and I'm willing to say when I think I was wrong about an issue and change my mind/views.

That's the most important. Be willing to change and pray for answers. Whether you end up believing what I believe or not, that's up to you. I'm going to love you no matter what, just be educated and  be able to back up your beliefs with facts and you'll be okay!

Just a few things baby girl

Here's a few things I want you to know baby girl... there will be many more tips and and tricks but here's a few

1. Know who you are before you get caught up in some guy. You don't need the cool guy to like you or validate who you are, You are amazing being you.

2. Love God and find a man that loves him fiercely too! If you find a Godly man, you will be loved and cherished.

3. NEVER stop trying to learn. Right now you are a little sponge and you LOVE to learn, don't stop! Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't, or that's for boys, or little girls are supposed to be pretty, NO YOU LEARN, you do, you tell them WATCH ME!

4. Do what you want. If that's cutting hair or designing buildings or working on cars, do what you LOVE!

5. Do it all in pearls. There's nothing wrong with being girly and breaking those stereotypes. Your Momma changed her own breaks in pearls with pink tools when a whole frat of guys couldn't help her!

6. Cook your heart out. Cook for you, for your family, for your neighbors. It's a door opener, conversation starter, and something that will say something when there's nothing to say.

7. Exercise and never stop. I've bounced back and forth and it's ALWAYS hard to start back. Find something you like doing and do it.

8. Dance like there's no one watching, even when they are watching. Be silly and have fun. The rest of the world doesn't matter.

9. One day a boy will break your heart. Cry big huge ugly tears, eat some ice cream, sleep it off and then grab your friends and go out and dance. HIS LOSS! He's not worth dwelling over. Trust me!

10. If you feel like you can't talk to me or daddy or we aren't here, find someone who is a christian and talk to them about your troubles or concerns. Don't trust your school friends or TV or even some adults. Trust God, you don't have to be perfect, and you won't be and that's fine! But don't lower your standards to fit in.

11. Drop everything for your family. Does your family need help moving? Throwing a party? Painting a room? HELP THEM. They will help you and they are the ones that will stick by you always. (Your in-laws are family too!)

11. Don't ever forget how much I love you! I love how you always challenge me, you're SO smart. I love all your silly faces and how you can always find a way to make me laugh. I love how you never forget anything and hold  me accountable! I think you are the most beautiful and special little girl on this earth and DON'T forget that!

What I want my kids to know...

So nothing is happening to me that I know of, i just have a very morbid outlook on life where I'm perpetually scared that Chris and I are going to die and someone else is going to have to raise my children and they are not going to instill in them the values and lessons that I want in them... So since I've been OH SO AMAZING at blogging (just haven't felt the urge) I'm going to turn this into a blog about what I want my children to know from me. Some of it will be serious, some of it will be comical I'm sure. Some of it will offend you (hint, you're not who I want teaching my children) and some of it you might agree with (want to meet for a glass of wine?). So without further ado here's some things I want my son to know

1. ALWAYS be a gentleman, unless that girl is a skank. I expect you to open doors and pay for meals and hold her hand. I want you to guide her with your hand on the small of her back, get a little jealous and protective over her (not possessive) and stand up for her, even to me. UNLESS she's a skanky little know it all who doesn't appreciate you. If she is let me handle her!

2. Bring a girl something to show her you were thinking of her. Flowers are nice... but predictable. Give her flowers but also give her cupcakes, jewelry, her favorite candy that you saw and had to get her because it made you think of her!

3. PLAN THE DATES! Even when you're married surprise her with a date that you planned, that means booking the childcare too! Especially do this when she's been bitchy, this means she needs a break, give it to her!

4. Put your faith and heart and whole being in God. BE a Godly man, LEAD your family, Raise them in church and let them see you heading it up! GO to mens bible study, bring your children to worship with you. Let your kids SEE you serving God.

5. Work hard. If you work hard at what you chose to do then you will succeed. No one is going to GIVE you anything, NO one SHOULD just give you anything? No one owes you anything. WORK FOR IT. Your Daddy has worked his butt off and because of him we have a beautiful house and food on our table. But also like your Daddy, be present when you're home. You kids need you too, not just your money.

6. When you have kids HELP with them. Even if they call for Momma (it's just programmed into them) get in there and bathe them, soothe them, walk them around at 3 in the morning shushing them back to sleep. Discipline them!

7. Stand up for what you believe in, even if it's not politically correct. Many people will make you feel like you are a horrible person if you don't agree with the masses, well you're NOT. Follow the bible as a guide if you have questions about whether you're right or not, don't follow others.

8. Don't get all pierced and tattooed up. I get it, sounds like fun, but is that big ass sun on your arm or shoulder going to look super cool when you're 80 and saggy? Is that big metal gauge in your ear going to look cool when it won't close when we're 60 and so now you have droopy slashed open earlobes? The chicks dig it now but.... really? Think long and hard about it. Your Daddy is 31 as I type this and hasn't gotten a tattoo because he can't think of anything that he would be happy to have when we're dancing in our 80s... (oh yeah me too... i did get my belly button pierced... yeah droopy...)

9. Learn how to be handy and don't be afraid to DIY. It's fun to build, fix, etc. You wife will count on that.

10. Hunt, Fish, play sports, AND learn to at least appreciate, if not love, the arts. Want to be big time CEO in something? Well get yourself cultured! That means the arts. You don't have to BE artistic to appreciate them.

11. Know more than anything that your Momma loves you. I love your sweet little arms wrapping around me, you asking me to "hold my hand" for the entire 7 hour drive to your Pop Pop and Sasha's house, I love you throwing a ball at my nose and catching me unawares. I LOVE YOU! Remember that. NO matter what, know that you will always have that. If i get taken from you (which I will not allow to happen because I need to screen all future wives) know that I love you and I know you will be an amazing man. Don't dwell on your heart aches, learn from them! Just jump into the next thing with a full and open heart! Make me proud little man because I will always be watching!

Had to save this one...

I know I've been missing but I had to save this one story for posterity's sake.

It was shaping up to be a lovely afternoon. The day before my mother-in-law had come over and helped to watch the kids while Chris and I prepared the new house for an array of visitors the next day. We were having over our church joining class and a few pastors to boot!

Sunday came and it was looking beautiful! Everyone started showing up and BOY were we going to have a full house! All in all about 20+ people! 3 of those families were pastors!

Now during this time in our lives we're also potty training our two  year old son. Often times we're outside with him and he needs to go to the restroom, but we live in the country and he IS a boy, so we tell him just drop drawers and go. You see where this is going, or SO YOU THINK!

Well everyone is out on the back deck enjoying the lovely weather we were having, when low and behold Parker needs to potty, so what does he do? Drops drawers. Not a big deal you say, he's a cute little boy just peeing... until you realize that No, No he's not JUST peeing... he's also decided to stick his little bum out and poop too. IN.Front of. EVERYONE.

We explain to Parker that we DO NOT poop outside, we can pee outside IF Mommy and Daddy say it's okay, but that's IT!

So what does my very sweet boy do? He decides to drop another deuce ON the deck stairs.

Oye, this one is going to be a handful!

Apparently being in your 30s means something...

So I don't know if it's just the path in life we've taken or the actual age but, my 30s are feeling older for me than I thought they would. At first, because I was surrounded by my friends who are all in their 30s-40s and in similar lifestyles, it didn't seem like a big deal. Age has never really played a factor for me. But recently, it's seems to be a line in the sand. I was almost made to feel like a cougar... seriously?!?!

It could be that Chris and I just did things a lot earlier than most do these days. We started serious careers right out of college. We were married RIGHT after we turned 24. We bought a house 6 months before we got married. We had our first child right after we turned 27. The second child around 29. These days that's all really early.

At a wedding this weekend I told some people I'm in my 30s (31... like WHOA) and I received bug eyes. Over the hill right? HA

I know there's the whole 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40, so what is 30? Because I'll tell you, this weekend I was NOT 20! I might as well have been put at the Grandparents table. Kidding! Sort of.

I always love looking back on these dynamics. Chris and I did things early (not quickly) because we wanted to be able to enjoy our kids and our lives after kids while still being relatively young. Think about it, when Kinsley is entering college we'll be 45! That's freaking AWESOME! I'm SOO going to be able to hang at a tailgate! HA

But being surrounded by 20 somethings talking about "when they are 30" like it's a huge life changing number, makes me laugh. To be flirted with by some 20 something only to see his eyes bug out of his head at the mention of my age (not to mention my marital status with two children) is equally laughable.

So I don't know if I feel old, wise, or just confused. I know my friends who are in their 30s and 40s are laughing at me and could probably write a blog post like this about me, but I like to think I don't treat them any different from me based on their age, because I feel like they don't treat me any differently either. To many age is defining, to me it's a number. It's a number that keeps going up, but other then that, it's just a number. The stories that go between those numbers is what matters. The trips, the experiences, the love is what matters.

Maybe I just have a lot of experience... oh wow now I sound like a ...

We really can't be friends if...

Over the last 31 years I've started to learn a few things about myself. I'm still a relatively insecure child at heart. I care passionately for my family and friends. I LOVE to sleep and be lazy. I'm not ashamed to eat spaghetti for breakfast, all to name a few.

One of the other things I've started to learn is what it takes to make a good friend to me. I put in that "to me" part because obviously the things I value are not valued by all... just my friends! So in case you were hoping you made the list (or hoping to point out why I should give up on our friendship) below will tell you if you should give me a call

1. You have to respect the fact that I'm VERY opinionated and it wouldn't hurt if you were too! 
      I'm a bible beating conservative if you want to put a title on it. I believe in saying "Yes Mame", praying before our meals, having my own gun, and WORKING for what I have. If you don't agree with me or at least respect my opinion, please don't call.

2. You  have to have a job
     Whether that's in the office or in the home with your children, you must have a job. Or trying to find one. NOT "trying" to find the perfect one for so long that you're on welfare now, I don't support that and I don't want to support you with my tax dollars. Get off your butt and get to Walmart and get a job until the dream comes true for you.

3. You have to have a sense of humor
     Do you know what the word sarcastic means? If not please stop reading and DO NOT call.

4. You have to like wine, or beer, or cocktails... or SOMETHING. 
     Okay I'm just going to put it out there, Jesus turned water into Wine... There I said it... glad we talked about that. No seriously our BBQ's are going to feel REALLY weird if you NEVER have ONE drink with me. I get if you're on a diet, pregnant, nursing, whatever, but come on... NEVER have ONE... unless it's medical, don't call. We can chat, but are we REALLY going to be close?

5. You  have to be okay with me praying and talking about God
    You like how this one is right after the wine don't you? So I'm not perfect, never have been and never will be. I put this here (after the wine) to make that point. But I love God and Jesus something fierce and I like to speak about what he's done and is doing in my life. If that makes you uncomfortable, I'll pray for you. You don't have to agree with me, just be okay with it.

6. I discipline my children, in front of people.
    I'm sorry you don't ever feel the need to tell your child No and I'm sorry that you don't want to embarrass your child by putting them in the corner in public. But if MY child does something that is not acceptable they will have a consequence and that will cause crying and you will have to listen to it. SO if that makes you uncomfortable when you call, stipulate No children because my kids are young and every other minute there's a timeout happening.

7. You have to be okay with cheap
    In case you didn't see the previous requirements where I'm talking about having children, I do and they along with their daycare and extracurricular activities suck the ever loving dollar out of my purse, so if you like to go to fancy dinners with your friends on the regular, think hitting up a concert, or Ballet is a normal outing for you, please don't call unless it's your birthday or mine. I don't have money for that. I would have to pay for a babysitter (because there's no timeouts at the Ballet), most likely buy suitable clothing (t-shirts and work clothes don't apply), and then still shell out money for food, drinks, entertainment... I don't have money for that... Just come over with a bottle of wine (see #4) and something to throw on the grill (see #8) and lets put our feet up and chat.

8. I eat meat
    More importantly I eat meat that my husband KILLED! OH YEA! I'm not saying that venison has to be your cup of tea, but don't try to convince me why killing Bambi is tragic or if you're a full out vegetarian, oh lord, I really don't know how I would approach that... I mean as long as you're okay with blood dripping down my chin, because everyone knows a good steak should be rare, then we can remain friends.

9. DO NOT EVER make someone else feel uncomfortable in my house
    I'm so over the neighborhood clicks, the high school drama that some adults never grow out of. Might as well  be on an episode of Mean Girls. At least in the South if we don't like you we're nice to your face. If I have to go out one more time and be ignored or watch someone else be ignored because you are too rude to at least be cordial while our children play together I swear I might get redneck up in here!

So see it's not hard to be my friend. You want me to be tolerant, I ask for the same in return~

These kids blow my mind sometimes...

So I have a two year old and a four year old. Okay I have a 2 year and 1 month old and a 4 year and 4 month old. I think the months mean something at this age people!

My son (the 2 year 1 month old) has hit the terrible twos. He is gracing our presence with spectacular displays of tantrums. And he likes to pair his tantrums with words that you cannot understand. Yep Welcome to two! Last night for example he is going to bed and he keeps walking out of his room because he knows I'm in his sisters room trying to be productive (Toddler mission 101: NEVER let the parents be productive). First time he's upset about his nose running (because he won't stop crying!), wipe it go back to bed. Then a series of escapes happen and I'm not sure why because I CANNOT understand a damn thing coming out of his little mouth. Now normally Kinsley can translate but even she was at a loss.

I tried rubbing his back, holding him, ANYTHING and he keeps doing this scratching shit on his chest saying some gibberish that I don't get. You know what I finally figured out? He was hungry, because his Toddler pickiness (Toddler Mission 102: NEVER eat anything they give you) hit at dinner and he didn't eat his dinner. So I threw some muffins at him and closed (okay locked, NO MORE LEAVING) the door and sent the dog in to clean up THAT catastrophe this morning.

Toddlerhood SUCKS

Now you might remember I have a 4 year 4 month old too. This kid is BLOWING MY MIND right now. Like pooof there it goes. She's completely changed the game. I actually miss her tantrums sometimes because I knew what to do with those, lock her in her room! Now this kid is crafty. Like hire her to take over the world crafty.

She goes from laughing about how her brother is the best in the world because he picked a show she likes "OOOH Parker you're the best ever! And we have the best Mommy ever" enter rainbows and suns dancing..., to convincing others to do her dirty deeds so she can sit on the couch like she did nothing at all.

Example: Her boyfriend was over the other night. He's the most well mannered child I have ever met. He is good, says Yes Mame without being reminded and is shy. Do you know what he did just randomly for the first time ever in his life? Colored with a marker ALL OVER Parker's walls. Now, do you think he magically thought to do this himself? HELL NO! Because he did it with a Barbie marker! My daughter talked  him into it! 100% POSITIVE about this. And it wasn't just a little "Hey friend you should color on the walls" tempt, oh no that is soo beneath her! It was an elaborate "my brother is scared to sleep in here so we should draw things all over the walls to keep him safe and happy at night"! So she convinced this kid that he was actually helping and doing GOOD by drawing ALL OVER the walls. And then do you know what happened? She came and told me she didn't do it! And she didn't! *OMG Head to desk*. Don't worry she still got in trouble, because I KNOW, OOOOOH I know!

So this is what we're up against people. Stay strong, stick together, and drink wine!

You know when you're heart breaks...

So Parker is my sick child. He's not wimpy, lethargic sick. He's the "I'm going to ransack your house and make you wonder how in the world I can do that while having pneumonia" sick. Baffles me.

He's always been sick. He got a 101.... something or other fever before he was 6 weeks old... into the hospital we went because they don't play with tiny babies. He was fine, just a cold. He got so many ear aches he got tubes. He's had pneumonia and other lung illnesses we got our own nebulizer.

He has something going on again. They are certain it's a sinus infection and pneumonia could be a byproduct of that since there's so many crackles in his chest, can't be certain unless you do a chest x-ray but they are going to treat it the same regardless of the x-ray so why submit him to unnecessary radiation?

I'm a though parent, I don't cry when my kids gets shots because I know it's for their own good and they will be okay. But it BREAKS my heart and spirit to see my VERY rambunctious two year old sit calmly through breathing treatments, stick his finger out knowingly for oxygen level test, turn his head for ear checks without even a hesitation because all of that is his norm. THIS SHOULD NOT BE HIS NORM!

Don't get me wrong, Parker has always had a very... understanding? personality. You could "reason" with him from a young age, so it's normal for him to accept his circumstances without big fanfare. Not timeouts or anything super crazy, but waiting to get to do something, having to go to the doctor, yep he's cool.

But my heart is breaking. He's always been sick on some level, and we just go with it. It doesn't slow us down anymore. We travel with the nebulizer just in case. I know we're blessed because it could be worse, but it breaks my heart to know my child thinks this is normal.

As for me and my house, we serve the Lord.

To some of you it may come as a complete shock that I'm a Christian, to others you knew, to yet others you assumed. I really want everyone to KNOW.

I love the internet and Blogs, I learn a lot of great stuff (cooking, kid activities, etc) but I also get inspired. I read this post Why I Would Never Force My Kids to Go to Church and I was inspired.

I grew up in the church. The Southern Baptist Church! We weren't a holy rocking church but a "you'll go to hell" kind of church. We went every Sunday for church and Sunday school and every Wednesday for dinner and activities. I went to church camps and vacation bible school and mission trips. There was no question about IF we were going... because we WERE going. Just like there's no question of "Are we going to school today" "are we brushing our teeth today" It was something that just happened on the regular in my family. And most of the time I was okay with that. Sure I had a few rebel years, so since I knew there was no getting out of it I wore JEANS to church, much to my Dad's mortification! lol Now that's the norm at churches~

Well as some, or many do, I strayed from the folds of my church. I moved states, away from my church home base. Married a Catholic so we were confused about what we should be as a family. I got busy. Too busy. Through all of this I always felt like something was missing and that I was lost. The hubs and I tired out different churches, even settled at a few for a while. But none were our glue. We were too busy or tired. We had a laundry list of excuses.

About a year ago we started going to a Lutheran church. REALLY amazing mix of his Catholic traditions and yet it wasn't Catholic so I was more comfortable (not to knock Catholics but come on people I grew up Baptist!")! We felt like it was OUR church, not his, not mine but OURS.

This pressing need to find OUR church was pushing to the front of our lives because of our children. Kinsley was leading our dinner prayers on the regular and we knew we didn't want her and Parker to not get the foundation we grew up with, not to mention WE NEEDED it ourselves. My kids LOVE church, I mean sure right now it's mostly nursery time and playing and doing arts and crafts with other kids but they love the music, they love the people and My FOUR YEAR OLD can tell you on a very basic level about Ash Wednesday! From the mouths of babes people!

I've not always been the best example of a Christian, some might even question if I am one. I make mistakes, I get caught up, I throw out a curse word here and there. But I never claimed to be perfect and I will never be perfect, and that's okay because of God's grace. Christianity isn't about perfection, it's about admitting your imperfections and loving others through their imperfections, and praying and trying to change! We aren't at church on the regular yet, my kids will ask on Sunday if we are going (hopeful that we are) because they don't know if we are. But this Sunday will  be the last Sunday in a six week class that the Hubs and I are in so that we can become members of our church, together (that just brought tears to my eyes)!

My kids will be raised in the church. They will not question why, because my four year old can already tell you. "Jesus loves you and he lives in our hearts and outside too all at the same time". Knowing that is as essential as school, dance, soccer, eating fruits and veggies, etc. Even more essential because Jesus is the breath of life, the fruit of the vine, the air I breath.

We are slowly trying to turn our Sundays into family days, no birthday parties, no commitments. It's not easy and we do make exceptions, but Sunday is slowly becoming about what it should be. A time to slow down and remind ourselves that our house serves the Lord and he is why we have this amazing family! Lucky for us our friends are considered our family too!

I'm not perfect, but I will make sure my kids have every chance that my parents gave me! There will come a time where they don't question it. There will come a time where I will get up on a Sunday just like I do on a Monday. I pray there will come a time where YOU will know who I am and what I stand for, and my prayer is that you will be there right beside me. My prayer is that others will stop making Christians feel so uncomfortable for being a Christian. That I my kids won't feel like they can't pray at school or where ever they are. That teachers and other leaders can live their beliefs without worrying about persecution. My parents gave me this AMAZING foundation because going to church and loving the Lord wasn't a question in my house; now it's up to me to USE that foundation, will you let me?

Maybe I'm doing something right?

I had a nice little moment this weekend (You like how I'm completely ignoring the fact that it's been forever since my last post huh?).

So despite all we have going on with moving into a new house, still trying to get the old house ready for renters or buyers, church, cyst lacerations, wedding preparations and life in general I went and saw a movie with a friend! To make this movie possible the hubs had to take care of the kids, alone. So what did he do? He did what we Mom's do, joined others in the same boat to make it bearable. He and a few of his Dad friends (and non-Dad friends, but all men) all got together with their kids while the Mom's played. There were 7 kids between the ages of 11 years down to 3 months! There were 5 guys. Awesome right!

Well they all survived and were happy and healthy. But here's the cool thing. Kinsley is four and the other kid there that was her age was a little boy. He doesn't like girls. The girls he knows are all whiny, bossy, mean little things. Basically typical girls (so I'm told). They don't like to share with him, they don't want to give him a turn, and they want him to only play what they want to play. But you know what? He LOVED my girl! They played together all day and WAY into the night and never had one issue! Not one fight. My dramatic little girl never had one meltdown about sharing or turns.

I don't know if they were instantly connected to the point of a deeper understanding. If all my Mom lessons FINALLY paid off and Kinsley just had a REALLY good day or what. But He LOVED my girl because my girl knows that bossy, spoiled, only my way attitudes are swiftly vetoed and not tolerated in my house.

It made me start thinking about the society we live in. The 1.2.3. society. I'll admit, I give my kids a count to think about their decision, most of the time. But, if I get to 3 heaven help you. But even that kind of peeves off my inner thought process. I want to give them time (because we know they are kids and need a moment to think about what will happen if they choose wrong) but at the same time they need to listen to me instantly and without hesitation because I'm their parent. What if they were running for their ball towards the busy road, is there time to count to three for them to possibly listen before they run into traffic? No, listening needs to be instant.

That's where I think other parents (and often myself when I'm feeling lazy) are missing the boat. You're not just raising an entitled child that doesn't share unless they are made to, you're not just raising a brat that has to have their way all the time. You're raising a child that isn't going trust that you're doing these things to keep them out of danger. We are the parents, we are in charge, the world does NOT revolve around the two foot tall humans that demand so much of our time.

I'm not saying you don't do what's best for your child. Nap time is important, special moments are to be taken, choices for pancakes for dinner are to be made on occasion. But on a normal night I decide what to cook, you don't want to eat it? Fine but there will be NOTHING else to eat because I'm not a short order cook and you will not have mac and cheese every.single.night. You will eat the baked chicken, green beans, and rice I made or you will go to bed. If you want to pitch a fit about it then you will go to bed NOW and not later.

I get very tired of hearing the phrase when a child has a meltdown that "They are just tired". Okay, do you act that way when you're tired? If you were at work and very tired do you think your boss would accommodating if you just fell out on the floor screaming because he didn't like your recent proposal, but really you were just tired? No your ass would be fired. So while our children are children, do we want to instill in them that when you're tired you have an automatic excuse to act like a fool? NO because they ARE children and they will then think they can act like that ALL of the time. OR like my four year will do, when they are acting like that and are about to get in trouble they will just tell you "I'm just tired Mommy" like that's supposed to make her behavior acceptable. Nope, sorry you're tired, go to your room and take a nap or go sit in the corner but don't think you're going to act like that for any reason.

So I like to think that since I have these views and expectations for my kids, that is the reason that little boy liked my girl! Because she knows we play what others want to play. She know we share and take turns. That it doesn't matter who's toy it is, it's no ones toy if you can't share it nicely. It could have all been a fluke of a good day and have nothing to do with my parenting. But I love my kids. I love them them deeper and more passionately then I ever thought possible, and for THAT reason, I will haul their behinds over to your child and make they apologize, hug it out, and then go into time out as a reminder that we share, we love, we treat others the way we want to be treated, and you don't... Momma will take care of THAT real quick~! 

Sometimes people just don't even TRY to get it

So Chris and I are under QUITE A BIT of stress right now. Here's what's currently on our plate.

1. Buying a new house and all that goes with that (inspections, loan paperwork, scheduling movers, transferring/scheduling/starting/stopping utilities, etc)
2. Renting out our townhouse and all that goes with that (getting a lease in place, finding renters, getting it "show" ready, scheduling the replacement of carpets, etc)
3. Finishing our basement before we can even hope to have renters move in
4. Parker's birthday (which has been postponed to the beginning of April)
5. Our full time jobs (which Chris is BEYOND stressful and never 8 hours a day... more like 16... hello single Mom and poor stressed hubby)
6. Taking care of our kids (dinner, breakfast, baths, etc and the tantrums OMG)
7. General upkeep of our "normal" lives (the never ending amount of laundry, cleaning (despite how pointless it feels with drywall dust everywhere), paying bills, etc)
8. Finding the kids a new preschool (we're moving counties)
9. Brother-in-law's wedding in April (getting attire, scheduling for the kids, scheduling for me, get a dog sitter, etc)
10. Future sister-in-law's bachelorette party
11. Packing up my whole house
12. Trying to stay on a workout plan/diet plan
13. Dealing with my dogs (sorry right now that's the nicest thing I can say about them... sorry dog "mom's")
14. SNOW (OMG Make it GO AWAY)... this is on my list b/c it's something that I have to deal with almost daily in some way!
15. My Granny is about to pass away
16. Kinsley's dance classes and birthday party invites
17. Knowing that our Sundays are about to shot between Church and then the joining classes for Church in the evenings (and knowing we can't put if off b/c we LOVE our church and these only happen once a year but we also have to schedule childcare for them)

Really most of this is "normal" I guess but the new house, renting out current house, and basement are sending me over the top. We HAVE to get the basement done to rent our current house. We HAVE to get our current house rented to not put ourselves under. Add that stress to the fact that the only decent preschool/daycare out there that feeds into our new school system is more expensive BUT I REALLY want the kids there because Kinsley is digressing at her current preschool from not being challenged.

Basically though my rant isn't about what's on my plate. I put it there and I'll find a way to make it all work. My rant is about people that only see what's on THEIR plate and ignore my plate. I get it, everyone is busy, everyone has stresses, everyone is trying to keep their head above water. But if I can get over myself to help you out... it would be nice to either have you return the favor or in the very least leave me alone. I get everyone doesn't have kids, or dogs, or totally understand moving stress, etc... BUT Oh. My. Lord! TRY!

I feel helpless, often because I know all this ("good") stress is killing  my husband and there's not much I can do to help him because I'm at my wits end too. I hate complaining about this stuff because in the end it's all great stress (Hello new house, Hello kids getting a better school, Hello super awesome wedding coming up) and who wants a to hear a whoa is me story. Kind of like those assholes who are always going on about "OMG I HAVE to go and buy a new dress for this super awesome blah blah blah at the club". Yeah shut it people. I get it. But when people who are supposed to get it and who are supposed to support you don't... it just gets really hard.

Before anyone emails me and starts texting "OMG are you talking about me" STOP! Put the phone down, shut off your computer and just let me rant. This is my space to blow off steam, this is my space to decompress so that I don't decompress on my family. This is not about you this time, this is about me. I love you thank you.

This morning in the middle of my kids meltdowns about "Parker is hurting my feelings" and Parker wants to put his own socks on but then wants my help because he can't do it then gets mad at me because I helped him after he asked me to... and then "OMG I left my bracelets at home" I really almost started crying. I miss my friends. I miss shooting the shit and complaining about our perfectly happy but stressful lives together. I miss sitting down with a glass (okay bottle) of wine and not worrying about okay I can't have too much because then I'll be useless for part of the day tomorrow and I have so much to do! Hell MAYBE I'm tired of being a grownup at this moment!

Okay rant is done. I'm putting on my big girl panties and we're going to get this done. We're closing on the new house in 28 days (unless it's sooner because of potential renters... hello AWESOME but OMG more stress). We're going to get to party like it's 1999 in 51 days. And all will be right with the world. Thanks for letting me rant. If you're reading this and want to help... call me and ask me to meet you for coffee or to come over for wine (you might have to come to me though because the hubs has been crazy busy and often I can't get out of the house... ever). That's what I need. I need to be surrounded by my friends...  not given "well I would really like to but...." That would feed my sole. And if you're my friend and I haven't been the best of friend to YOU lately... I'm deeply sorry! I promise calls, friend dates, SOMETHING is in our future!

Do You know...

Do you know how hard it is to get your house ready to show... all you people who have had to declutter and be show ready because you wanted to sell, my heart goes out to you!

The hubs and I have decided to rent our townhouse, we're dodging that "show bullet" right? NO. Imagine, people want to look at the place they are going to sign a lease for! OMG. Well in our perfect world we would have renters starting on April 1. We close on March 20th. See how this timeline isn't conducive to just "sure come on by"? If we want them to start on April 1st THEY have to make plans, etc so they would most likely start planning... now? I'm not ready now. More like I'm a pig invited to a cow ball not ready!

Besides the fact that the basement isn't close? we have to clean and purge and declutter. Oh.My.God. Have you tired cleaning with kids around? How about kids and two harry, shedding dogs? To say such a thing is pointless is the understatement of the decade.

So we have some potential renters... they may not workout, even if they don't we need to get ready. When is this "ready" date that our Realtor (Dear Lord Baby Jesus, God Bless her heart for trying to help out our struggling butts) wants to try to show some people our house? Feb 22. That's in 2 weeks. This weekend (at least Saturday is pretty full with birthday parties and friends) busy, next weekend is little Man's 2nd Birthday Party... yea, so I have to move everything to storage, clean the house, get (our friend to) the basement ready-ish, paint/touch up the house, oh and keep it there with two kids, two dogs, a husband with a very demanding work schedule, and a partridge and a pear tree. Did I mention I work full time and am out of the house from 620-445ish? yeah...

Pray people, God has gotten us this far, I'm going to need him to get us a little farther! Pray!

There's a lot of amazing things happening here and i'm stressed!

So basically this is IT:

This will be our new house on March 20th! That's right people a single family home with land!!! WHOOP! 

While we still have a lot of bridges to cross still, lets take a moment and get excited! The following pictures are not my own they are from the listing, so therefore the furniture is not my own (although I would take most of it!).

First item on the checklist for a new home, open floor plan, CHECK!

 Second item on the list: Large functional kitchen: CHECK
Now you'll see some "open" cabinets, these aren't true open cabinets, she simply just took the doors off them and I will be putting the doors back on!

 View from upstairs to the den!

On the list: Large Master with room for our HUGE furniture and enough closet space: CHECK

This room has 3 THREE 3 closets! Chris will have the two long bi-fold door closets and I will get the HUGE walk-in closet! AMAZEBALLS! 

Oh AND there's a laundry shoot from this bedroom to the laundry room that's right off the kitchen! HOLLA!

 On the List: Double sinks and a tub: CHECK
Um how about double sinks with a TWO PERSON Jacuzzi tub!?!? OKAY!

 List Item: Finished Basement: CHECK
In our current home we're finishing the basement... never again! This new house just happens to have wood planking, a gas stove, a bar, a backroom which will make a perfect office (another List item) and a full bath!

 This is my boyfriend's future bar... he's very excited about it and very happy that I married him so that I could give it to him~ ;)

 What I haven't shown you? The laundry room with pantry, the half bath, basement bath, and kids bath. The space that will be chris's office/guest room. The kids rooms and their VERY SMALL closets (oh well they don't need it like I do!!!). Also the schools the kids will be going to are AMAZING!!!

This little piece of heaven is on 1.72 acres! So there'll be lots of space for the kids and dogs to roam, run, and have nice outdoor fun!

BUT like I said there's still quite a few hoops to jump through. We've made it through the general inspection and the pest inspection. We still have the well and septic inspections to do, oh and get to settlement with all our $$ and loans. House buying isn't ever easy but this house is DEFINITELY making it worth it! This is a forever home and it's just enough for us to grow and entertain and not kill each other in the process! 

So keep the prayers coming! We have 44 days left! AND we need to find a renter for our townhouse... so if you live in Maryland and need a place I know a townhouse with your name on it!