Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Great Mom Debate

Stay At Home Mom(SAHM) or Working Mom(WM)

This is not a new topic and, sadly, it is still up for hot debate. I thought we had reached a day in age where women felt confident enough and secure enough to be a SAHM or a WM and NOT receive criticism for either, whether it was a choice or a necessity. But I was wrong. One of my favorite bloggers that I just LOVE reading (and get GREAT bow links from) is Mrs. Foreste. Recently she stood up for herself because some weirdos, without a life, decided to take the time out of their "busy" day to verbally bash her (anonymously) about the lifestyle that she and her husband have. This then opened a whole new can of worms. It caused the said people to bash her even more, her husband to try to come to her rescue (what an incredibly sweet man!), and others to encourage her, while others still put her down for her family's choices.

Now i have VERY strong feelings on this issue and those are "SHUT the hell up and let people decide what is best for their OWN family"! And that's it, point blank. I'll give you a little back ground on myself. I was raised by an amazing mother who (when i was born) was an oil broker. With the income she made (yes she had a degree, from Texas A&M) we lived in a VERY nice neighborhood in Houston, TX and my dad stayed home with us. My Dad, who doesn't have a degree, was a stay at home Dad. This worked for my family. It was actually GREAT! My Dad always was and still is very involved with my brother and I. My Mother, who worked full time, was also VERY involved in our lives!

Now when i was around 4 1/2 years old my Mom lost her job due to the oil crisis in the 80s. My Dad went up to North Carolina and found a job with a plumbing supply company that supported us until my Mom was able to get a job with a Bank in downtown Charlotte. From this point forward both of my parents worked. Not out of choice but out of need. I have many memories going to work with both of my parents on some Saturdays. Now, while my parents were HORRIFIED that they had to "subject" my brother and I to such terrible Saturdays when they would rather be at the pool or just at home with us, my brother and I looked forward to these Saturdays! We LOVED seeing where my parents worked... plus these days almost always included trips to Krispy Kreme and Blockbuster!

The first day of school, EVERY YEAR, my Mom would take off early to come home and make homemade chocolate Chip Cookies for my brother and I (she even managed to continue this tradition when i went to college). My parents ROCKED... they worked and they rocked. My Dad rocked even though he didn't (and still doesn't) have a degree. I was the coolest kid in the 4th grade because MY Dad was a manager for Pizza Hut and provided the class with pizzas!

With all this being said, I would give my left arm to be a SAHM. Yes, i went to college (that's where i met the Hubs) and yes i have a degree (Whoo freakin hoo, it's in History... yeah i'll go FAR with that one) but i still want to be there to be the one shaping and molding my daughters' every moment of every day. Now, do i feel guilty going to work (even though i have to, not choose to) NO! I'm doing what my family needs me to do. BUT, would the hubs and i have me stay home if we could, yes... we BOTH would love that... and here's where Mrs. F's snarky little followers REALLY pissed me off...

The Hubs and I are on the same page that if i could stay home i would... I didn't marry a guy that would expect me to work if we could afford for me to stay home not because i want to live off some guys coat tails but because that is how we both feel and believe. Is it wrong for a man to want his wife to work outside of the home? No, but I didn't marry THAT man because THAT is not what I want with my life IF we can afford it! Sadly, right now we can't but i'm okay with that because that's just life. It has always been my dream to be a Mom and i don't think there's anything wrong with that. Yes, i thought a few other jobs were cool too but guess what people... being a SAHM IS a job, a VERY VERY hard job. All these people who claim that it's not are crazy... i mean a SAHM is essentially a daycare for their own kids. AND all those Snarky working Mom's would say that their daycare providers have a job, taking care of others children, so why is it not viewed as a job if you take care of your own kids?

Here's how i see it... If you're a SAHM you're a
  • House Keeper
  • Medic
  • Chef
  • Physiologist
  • Stylist
  • teacher
  • choufer
  • CEO
  • General maintenance worker
  • Dry Cleaner
  • Computer operator
  • Personal Assistant
These are just a FEW of the hats that SAHM's wear. I'm not saying that working Mom's don't do these too, but they do receive SOME help (hello Daycare Teacher... I mean i know at my daycare they teach Kinsley, love her, kiss and mend her booboos, etc).

Basically these whack jobs need to back off and understand what works for them and their family IS NOT BEST FOR ALL! And regardless if someone has a degree or not they can still provide and help their family, whether if it's in the work place or at home. Hello people, we're 2010, why can't a woman (along with her family) choose her own path and be left alone?

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for giving me such great support! I have the best followers!! (minus 2 or 3 haha)