Yeah so everyone is all prepared for gaining weight while pregnant right? WRONG! It's not THAT easy! I mean it IS easy to stuff your face and gain weight but you're not gaining where you thought you would... no matter how much you eat it won't form a cute baby bump until the baby gets bigger. I know fate is cruel, as soon as that pee stick says PREGNANT you should magically look pregnant but instead you look FAT. Here's my story...
So I'm at that point where if i try to wear my old clothes (the ones that still fit, gave up on pants a LONG time ago), like tops i just look pudgy... even now that the bloat has gone down and i do appear to have a cute tiny bump, to the unknowing eye (anyone who doesn't know i'm pregnant) would think that i just need to lay off the beer. And that's NOT FAIR b/c i CAN'T HAVE BEER!!! So i have a mini beer gut with NO BEER in it! I do have a baby the size of a lime so maybe i had to many margaritas? HAHA Just Kidding!
So it's like this, i wanted something nice to wear to church on Sunday since i was going to be up in front of everyone singing a solo... so i though EASY! I'll buy a dress... ha yea right! We went to Target, Ann Taylor Loft, and Kohls AND GUESS WHAT.... NOTHING! It went down like this, certain things were too fitted in the waist, the maternity stuff looked like a blimp on me, other stuff would have been cute on a girl who didn't have knockers the size of Texas. It was just an utter failure. So i left the last store defeated and complaining to Chris that i was Fat an Ugly, so what did my super sensitive husband tell me??? "what do you expect? you're pregnant!" WOW THANKS HONEY! I feel SOOO much better now! to which he quickly learned the error of his words and back tracked saying that I know he didn't mean it THAT way, just that i knew i was going to gain weight with the pregnancy. WELL DUH YEA! But NO ONE explains to you the stage BEFORE the bump where you just look like you robed a Krispy Creme. I mean hello, i drink my water, i eat my fruit, i LOVE my salads, i walk walk walk and STILL i'm the Michelin man.
So be prepared with LOTS of baby doll tops and dresses and build up that self esteem NOW! And if you still have time pray for me, i'll be seeing a BUNCH of people i haven't seen since Feb. this weekend and i'm hoping that i feel pretty. Is that too much to ask?