So this is a slightly venting post and a post to help out future Dads of the world... you would think some of this is common sense but I guess it's not.
First lets set the scene. When your wife is in her 7th month of pregnancy and she has a VERY VERY small torso so that the VERY VERY large baby she is carrying is making her look 9months pregnant it starts to hurt by the end of the day. She is experiencing Braxton Hicks contraction, she feels like she could give birth now but knows she has 3 more months. Her child is constantly kicking her left rib cage to the point where she's now bruised internally, and now her feet are swelling. So to say the least by the end of the day she's tired, hurting, and mostly out of humor.
For some reason when my husband gets off work he wants to stop thinking (i get it, his job is very stressful) and starts asking me the most ridiculous questions that i know he can answer himself. Not sure if he's just trying to include me or what but i would rather not be included and him just take care of it. So after the evening progresses on from Are You Smarter Then a Fifth Grader we start to tackle a long overdue project: replacing the carpet on the stair landing that my dog tore up.
So we're pulling staples out, etc and when we finish we're going to Kiles (sp?) the floor to seal it before we put carpet pad down. So Chris gets up and i need to get up so i ask for help. I have NO ABS, i FEEL HUGE, I CAN NOT GET UP FROM A SITTING POSITION ON THE FLOOR AT THE END OF THE DAY. So he's helping me up and do you know what he thought would be the PERFECT comment? "How are you going to get up if you ever get just fat?" WOW REALLY?? I've gained what 20/25lbs, i never hear from him that i'm pretty anymore, he's already told me that my belly doesn't turn him off but it might after i give birth, and now he's asking me how i plan on getting off the floor if i ever get "fat".... I AM FAT... i mean i know it's pregnancy BUT STILL! I FEEL like a HOUSE... DO NOT mention the F word around me!
He didn't mean anything by it, he thought (key word thought) he was being funny, when all I wanted to do was throw the can of paint at his head!
So husbands let me give you a list of approved actions/comments
1. Tell your wife she is Beautiful
2. Rub her belly and tell her how much it means to you
3. Never EVER talk about her weight
4. Help without her having to ask (help her up off the couch, from a laying down position, from the floor)
5. Understand she has NO mobility in her midsection... so maybe be sympathetic when she finds it hard to do something that seems like a simple task (have you ever tried even vacuuming without using your abs, carrying something without using your abs?)
6. Don't give her a hard time for laying on the couch when the house needs to be cleaned
7. Rub her back and feet, without her asking you to do so
8. Just be there for her, she's physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted, especially by the end of the day.
Now as a side not my husband does do most of these things some of the time but when he relapses it's like a volcano at my house.
Oh and if you do the opposite of any of these things APOLOGIZE! don't just hope she forgets you did them... SHE WON'T!