Guest Blogger Thursday, Heir to Blair Edition

Have you ever never met someone and yet you feel like you know them, or had them change your life? That is what Heir to Blair is to me. Beth Anne is an incredibly witty girl that has a real talent for writing and inviting you into her life and family. She has southern sass, an amazing husband, and the cutest little boy! But despite her touching and often hysterical moments she also reminds us that she is a real person with real problems. And her main problem is one that many women suffer from, yet not many talk about it. And often, since it's not spoken of, many don't know how to recognize it or how to deal with and support someone who has it. This great IT is postpartum depression. I want to thank Beth Anne for taking the time to write about this very personal subject and I pray that we can all be as brave as she is being and has been.

So without futher ado Beth Anne from Heir to Blair

About 15% of women experience a postpartum mood disorder (PPMD) after giving birth. Shocking? Yeah, it shocks me, too. It shocks me how low that number is, considering the radical changes a woman goes through on physical, emotional, & chemical levels. Her body is split in half, her hormones are experiencing more chaos than a Lady Gaga concert, & she's catching (maybe) 3 hours of shut-eye in a 24 hour time span. But it's not about sleep. Or healing lady-bits. It's a mind-altering medical condition that has horrifically low awareness. Non-believers tell us to get more sleep. To "buck up" & take responsibility for the life we brought into this world. They tell us to wait for our hormones to "level out."
We suffer from overwhelming despair, insignificance, & lack of worth with postpartum depression. We fear leaving the house, leaving the baby, or even touching the baby with postpartum anxiety. Obsessive thoughts of harming the child, ourselves, the dog - these create a reign of terror that is postpartum obsessive compulsive disorder. & that small portion that experience the terror that is postpartum psychosis - visual & auditory hallucinations, delusions, & a complete detachment from reality.
& we, sufferers of postpartum mood disorders, have something to say back to the world.
A good nap will not snap us out of this. Sleep is great. By all means, offer a new mother (especially one with a PMDD) the chance to rest. But it's not a cure.
We can't pray our way out of the depression. That is simply insulting. Don't say it.
It's not about our "new body" & inability to fit into pre-pregnancy jeans. In fact, dieting & hypoglycemia can exacerbate symptoms.
Not everyone needs anti-depressants & medication. & more importantly, be wary of any doctor/practitioner that automatically prescribes meds with no other therapies or follow-ups.
But if medication is needed, there is no shame. I take a little blue pill every day - it is simply better living through modern chemistry.
We can deal with motherhood. The most hurtful thing ever insinuated was that I could not handle being a mother. That I was too inept & selfish to "deal." This was the root of my worry & depression, so hearing it out loud from someone else nearly shattered my heart.
We are good mothers & we love our children. I loved my child so much that I was willing to take pills everyday, agonize in therapy, & even admit myself to a hospital. Because I wanted nothing more than to give my son a healthy momma.
Having a postpartum mood disorder does not mean we will hurt our babies. The media LOVES to sensationalize postpartum depression & psychosis. But we're not all Andrea Yates. Most infanticides are the result of postpartum psychosis, which is a rare PPMD, & occur in roughly 5% of postpartum psychosis cases. We are not killers. & more importantly, we could eliminate that 5% & stigma with a little more awareness, education, & understanding.
In fact, there are so many "levels" of PPMD severeness. The women who suffer deeply are crying out for understanding. But the women who do not have it as "severe?" They do not suffer any less. They are hurting, scared, & angry just as much as I was sitting in my hospital room. They are not "lucky" because they don't require high doses of medication. They need love & support & the confidence to share their stories, too.
Above all, the greatest thing you can know is that we will get better. This is not forever. With the proper care, time, & understanding, we will be whole again. It has been a year long road for me, but I am finally back on the road to recovery. (I don't know who is more thankful - me or my husband.) I am so thankful to my incredibly supportive family & my amazingly wise psychiatrist. & my husband...I have no words. I'm not whole again & there is still a long road in front of me. But I am getting there. With a little more heart & strength than I had before.

Thanks Beth Anne for your story. Hugs to you and your beautiful family!

Preview of K's birthday

Here's the invite that Anders Ruff Custom Designs Did for me. I saw a great invite of theirs that I thought with a little tweaking it would be perfect for K. So I ordered it and paid $5 extra for customization. THEN after they sent it to me with the new patterns and Kinsley info, I went onto Adobe photoshop and added in characters that i found on the web. (Because Anders doesn't do actual characters in their invites because of licencing issues, etc... which is TOTALLY fine because then i got to pick the exact characters for the invite!

So here's a little sneak peak to the awesomeness that will be Kinsley's First Birthday!

And I'm giving you this sneak peak because today is MY birthday! Yes, I'm 28 years old now and I'm celebrating on my new laptop, sitting on my couch with my cowboy, and watching Glee do Britney! The only thing that could make this better is if i could do ALL this in a bubble bath. BUT laptops and baths aren't a good idea.... but a girl can dream!

K is a trooper

See this happy little girl... she and i are hanging out today. She's not feeling so good so I stayed home with her because if she would have gone to daycare she wouldn't have gotten the rest that her sick little body needs. She's got a cold. A snot pouring, smokers cough comparable cold. Poor little thing. She's being quite the fussy trooper though. Hopefully we can suck out enough of the green stuff today to help us all sleep better tonight.

Well off to suck her green brains out.

the Cowboy is AWESOME!

Why? Besides that fact that he's the love of my life? I got my birthday present, and i'm typing on it RIGHT NOW!!! Yes he arranged with my parents and his parents to get me a joint gift... my very own LAB TOP! I mean i'm going to share it with him and everything but YEA! So all post will be coming from this awesomeness now!

More to follow! YEA!

Friday, thank the lord!

As a Mom and a woman i think everyone, including ourselves takes us for granted. I posted before about when Kinsley was about six months old I went through a small break down. I'm still not sure if i would classify it as postpartum or mental/physical/emotional breakdown. But I crashed. Lately it's coming back. But i see it coming this time. I feel like i'm SCREAMING out for help, but maybe i'm not making any sense and just come out as bitchy. There are so many factors in my life that are constantly changing and growing, and i'm so happy for them, but it's a lot to handle sometimes. On top of the normal i "enjoy" adding the abnormal too, because I'm never happy unless i'm planning something and then i stress myself out about planning said something.
I have all of these friends who have crazy busy lives and "do it all" WITH a smile and so i try to keep up. I plan our days, even when we don't have a day to plan. We are "scheduled" almost every day for the rest of the year. YET i still want to put more on our plates. I have stepped back from a few things in my life to make some breathing room, but i don't know if it's enough.

How can you step back from the things that make you the craziest, yet give you the most joy?

Last night we had our playgroup over to our house. This meant that I had to make dinner (easy peasy, crock-pot pulled pork, no stress!), have my house (yes the house with the two dogs who insist on shedding EVERYWHERE) clean, my child semi happy, and myself home from work. I LOVE LOVE LOVE our play group. Just the thought of getting to hang out with theses awesome Moms and their kids makes me giddy to my toes. But here's ANOTHER ball for me to juggle.

So the night before while i'm trying to keep my daughter happy (we're going through a clingy Mommy phase), spend time with her since I've been at work all day, pick up the house, make dinner, blah blah blah... I've also got two dogs that have been alone all day (well they had each other but still) and just want some Mommy loving too. So I have a fussy baby, fussy dogs, a dirty house, no dinner, and all of my own issues on top of it all. I about lost my marbles. This all sounds so easy to most... but when you're in a cloud of depression you just feel trapped and want to scream for help. I tried to talk to the Hubs, but he was stressed from his own soap opera of a life. And last night, it all hit me like a bucket of ice water.

I got off work early to get home and clean up. But no matter how much i cleaned, there was still dog hair! Then the group comes over and the dogs keep barking and getting in everyone's faces to say "Hello". The babies are fussy because, well hello, the dogs are much bigger then them. Then the babies are eating goldfish, which they drop on the floor, which still (despite my best efforts) has DOG HAIR ON IT. Right there i felt my blood pressure rising.

So i put the dogs behind the gate on the stairs so at least i don't have to keep corralling them away from the kids. Then everyone is in my kitchen while i layout dinner and it's like a neon sign screaming at me that i didn't get around to mopping my floor in the last MONTH! UH! I mean i've swiffered wetjetted but that is NO match for my dog's paws and drool.

Honestly I wanted to sit down right there and just cry, because not only was I subjecting their children to this, MY child crawls through it every day! My friends were great telling me my house was clean, smelled great, and is nothing like I was picturing in my head. But the evidence is ALL there, in the hair!

So last night I laid down, with my heart beating out of my chest because i was so full of anxiety that i couldn't properly communicate to the Hubs. I tried my relaxation techniques, i tried thinking happy thoughts, I tried NOT thinking. Eventually I drifted off, after a few tears and prayers.

I don't know what the answer is to all this... other then if you're a Mom, who does it all/most of it. I.understand. I'm there with you, hugging you, telling you it's okay and that you can do it. I'm there thanking you for loving your family so much (even if you don't always show it the way you want to). I'm here cheering for you and telling you to thank yourself for being an awesome Mom. AND i'm here telling you that NO ONE is perfect, despite what it looks like on the outside from your eyes, NO ONE is perfect.

Hugs to YOU!

And on another, happier (sort of, since it means she's growing up) note. Kinsley walks... yes last night she did it again.

but she still prefers cruising for now... so here she is cruising around the coffee table, and i'm getting pictures of the only thing she'll let me photograph, her rear... since she's always on the move! lol




and here's a little preview of her Halloween costume. This is from Alibye Design on etsy. I just love it and can't wait to see it on Kinsley next month!

September 22, 2010

Kinsley took her first two steps, lets see if we can get her to take a few more!

Guest Blogger Thursday!

Ya'll might remember me mentioning Stephanie here where i was a guest poster on her blog Confessions of a City Eater. Well now i have the pleasure of hosting Stephanie on MY blog and i couldn't be more excited! As i told you before I just love keeping up with her blog because her daughter is beyond cute (not to mention stylish) and i just love following her Empowering Motherhood series! So here's Stephanie trying to give a little heart felt advice and direction to her 18 year old self. Sometime i know we all wish we could do!

Letter to My 18 Year Old Self.

Dear Stephanie,

Do you remember when you were younger and the summers felt like an eternity? When you used to sleep until 1pm? When Christmas couldn’t get here soon enough? Do you remember how time had no meaning? It just meant slow and slower. You spent a lot of time waiting. Just waiting. Waiting for things to change. Waiting for your 18^th birthday so you can move out of your mother’s house. Waiting for your 21^st birthday so you could drink legally. Waiting for something exciting to happen. Waiting for that moment where you realized that you were, in fact, someone special and extraordinary.

You had big plans for life. You want to be a professional. You wanted to be all I-am-woman-hear-me-roar! You wanted to have a career. You wanted to be a lawyer. You wanted to be financially independent. You wanted to be able to take care of yourself because you felt you couldn’t rely on anyone else to take care of you. You told yourself you would have a career first and then, only then, a husband and a baby. You wanted to be able to survive financially if you had a child and ended up getting a divorce. Your timeline went like this: Bachelor’s at 22, JD at 25, marriage at 30, baby at 32. It was also so simple. So perfect.

Then. Then he walks into your life. This man will flip your world and change everything. This man will be tall, dark, brooding, and in search of fulfillment. When he tells you he “feels empty inside” something will stir deep within you. You will want to be that something. You will be drawn to him like a magnet compulsively moves toward another magnet. Suddenly, your perfectly constructed timeline is just that: a construction in your mind. It is a thing of the past because you have found The One. You will still have your goals but marriage will jump to the top of your list. Professional achievements will come second to personal achievements because you realize being in love makes you happier than any job ever could.

Being in love will mean leaving your Miami life behind to follow your heart personified. It means moving to Boston for four years with no plans other than being with the one you love. Being in love has taught you true happiness and you decide nothing is worth doing if it’s not done with passion. You will spend years trying to figure out your professional life. Don’t be surprised by how often you ask yourself “what do I want to be when I grow up?” You will start law school but you will not finish. Love will make you move again. Love will stand between you and law school but you won’t dwell on it for long because it’s love after all. And this love will give you something law school or professional accomplishments can never give you: A Child.

You will love being pregnant. You will hate the first three months of life with the baby girl you name Catarina. You will write her letters every week of your pregnancy, every week and month of her life. You will do this so you won’t forget what you went through but mostly so that she will know who you were when you first became her mother and how much you loved her despite what you felt. You will do it so that she knows YOU. So that one day when she is pregnant with her first child she will feel more connected to you. After those first three months you will love being a mother. You will realize how ironic life is: your personal life is wonderful, but your professional life is one big question mark.

Your real timeline will look like this: Bachelor's at 21, marriage at 23, master’s at 24, baby at 26. I know it might not seem like it, but you will be ok with this. You will realize that it is ok to rely on others and that it is ok to not have your life go according to your plans. Plans are plans. They are not set in stone. There are no certainties in life anyway so you rely less and less on your plans. You will realize that being a mother is actually the career you have been searching for. You will feel passionate about it and, for the first time in your life, you will feel like you are good at something.

Life will take a detour and it may not be what you expected or hoped for but I promise the life you will live will be so much better than anything you could have ever planned. Life is meant to be enjoyed and lived and, trust me, you will soar on the high that is a life well lived.

Try not to stress out too much about the direction of your life. So much changes for you in such little time. Enjoy the ride and remember how fiercely you can love and feel happiness because it’s those feelings that will get you through the tough times ahead. Tears will flow, your heart will break, and you will feel disappointment like never before, but love will keep you hopeful. It will keep you moving forward with your head held high and a smile permanently on your face.

Always yours,

Stephanie

Totally Doing this, You should too!

Surprise Me! Secret Santa Gift Exchange is a gift exchange/swap for bloggers.
Each participating blog will be a Secret Santa & also receive a gift from a Secret Santa.
There are No Sponsors for this event, it's just like one big office party.
After you receive your gift you can tell everyone all about it on your blog.

$15 gift(s) + shipping = $20.00

Each Secret Santa will spend $15 on their gift. This can be one item or multiple items that total $15. We want everyone to enjoy the swap and their gift so we have added category choices for you to choose from on the sign up. This way it helps the Secret Santa have an idea of what you like and so that everyone enjoys their gifts.

Sign up will be open for 2 weeks and will end on Wednesday October 6th

If you are interested in participating in the Secret Santa Gift Exchange simply

Fill out the form and we will add you to the list.

After you sign up snag the button and let your readers know that you are participating & thath they can too..

After sign up closes we will notify everyone by email to let you know :

Who to ship to, What gift idea they like, When to ship by & Where to ship gift to..

We will email you updates, shipping deadlines and all other information needed after the list is closed.
No one will know who is who's Secret Santa is so shh.. it's top secret :)

Random thoughts

So today, rather then give myself a topic or stick to one subject I'm going to ramble like the thoughts in my head often do. So you're warned, you can slowly back away from this post now, i won't blame you.

First thought? My baby still needs me! See we've been crying it out for, oh a week... and we're still crying it out. I know we're awesome! But crying it out is also coinciding with teething. Whatever. Well the hubs has noticed now, when we put Kinsley into her crib to go "night night" she does just that, without crying. I mean she might stand up, do a little gig, roll around until she finds the sweet spot in her crib, but there's no crying. Or at least there hasn't been the last 3 nights. I'm sure now that i've mentioned this full on tantrums will ensue. Again, whatever. She still cries at night, at least once, often twice. But you know what, all she wants is to cuddle on my stomach and i find it hard to turn her down, especially since she is all "I am Baby, hear me Roar! I DO IT" with out the words, of course. When i put her back into her crib, she is either awake or wakes up (i'm not sure which since, well it's dark!) and isn't happy about being alone again (even though she has her Baby doll, puppy dog, and two lambs to keep her company). It's just nice to know that, even though it's flippin 2 in the morning, she just wants to be near me to JUST be near me (since she's rejected the boob and all).

On another note this new diet thing has gotten off to an amazing start! I had cookies the last TWO nights (yes that's how long i've been on this diet), even added some sherbet to the mix last night. Oh and 30 day shred? Why rush these things? Alright the goal is to try to do this tonight. I think i can i think i can... but do i really WANT to? Yes I want to, I want to have arms that won't flap in the wind and cover half of my body when i look at myself in pictures. Yes i want to only have one chin and calves that will fit into cute boots. But DAMN, why does it have to take SO much dedication. The only thing i seem to be able to dedicate myself to is pumping (hells to the yeah) and eating cookies! UH!

And i'm still over the dogs. I mean, yes it's gotten better, I no longer wish they would get old and die. But i JUST DON'T WANT TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. I know i sound like any terrible person who had an animal that sends them to the shelter because they got lazy. Except i DIDN'T get lazy, i got a kid! These dogs need to run and be played with, not banned from the kitchen because i'm scared that they are going to eat the goldfish that my baby has dumped all over the floor that i can't keep clean because WE HAVE DOGS! I'm really at my wits end and don't know what to do about it. I feel the slipping of my sanity and don't know how to change it. I do love the dogs, i love to pet their little heads and cuddle with them. But I'm OVER it. I want to the be grandparent for the dogs... love them, spoil them, give them back. Anyone want two perfectly good, cute, trained dogs?

Lastly I'm over it and in a rut but the end is in sight. I can't go into too much detail yet because there's prying eyes on this public blog, BUT I am in a place where I'm so over dealing with what i'm dealing with, but i KNOW there's an end in site with a tentative date, so i know it's coming but not TOTALLY sure EXACTLY when, but I do have a rough idea, so now i'm sitting waiting for my life to change and have this weight lifted off my shoulders and be able to breath a sigh of relief (dramatic much?), but like i said it could happen any time between now and then. UH! Have i mentioned i'm not very patient... even though i HAVE been patient for ohhh like 3-4 months! I'll keep you posted. Since when this glorious change does take place it might directly effect the state of this blog, if the hubs doesn't jump on another bandwagon that i'm working on.

Alright well i have to go and drain the udders, so i'll ramble ya later!

Boob rejection and formula sympathy

So Kinsley has rejected my boobs. It's very disturbing in a way. This is the first time Thelma and Louise (yes they have been named) have been rejected. I mean I know they aren't what they use to be, but come on. They use to be these happy little B cups that often passed for a C cup. They were up high so everyone could see and appreciate them. Then they started trying to reach that elusive C cup status because they were tired of being mistaken for something they weren't. Well they over shot and went straight to a D cup. They were still pretty nice, a little heavier, so not QUITE as happy to sit up high, but nothing a cute and lazy bra friend couldn't help!

Then pregnancy happened, and we all know what pregnancy leads to... birth and then milk production. So then they went from these Big Fun play toys that could get me free drinks to BEING someone elses drink. sigh~

They have been sustaining the life of Kinsley by offering her up Mommy Milkshakes on demand for Nine and half months. Even after she started trying to bite the boob that fed her, they would still give her the sweet milky nectar. But now, they haven't stopped their end of the deal...

... we made a deal, they feed all the kids I have for at least a year each, then I'll have them picked back up and placed where I believe God would still want them if he had the time to fix them his self, but alas he is too busy with Aids, Murders, Hurricanes, and other world epidemics to remember to pick my boobs up off the floor, so I will help the guy out. Until then i'll just roll them up jelly roll style and tuck them into a bra and hope no one notices that they can wrap around a small child's waist...

...geez sorry, okay back to what i was saying! They are still holding up their end and pumping (ha, not pun intended) out the good stuff, but Kinsley has decided that she is just too busy to sit and nurse from me, she needs a bottle ALL.THE.TIME. She wants you to follow her mouth wherever she turns it because she has taken after her Mama and is very nosey and wants to know what is going on ALL.THE.TIME.

So, I am pumping my brains out. This means that she gets a bottle before bed and in the morning...she USED to get boobs when we were home. So now i have to plan and that equals me having a whole new respect for formula Moms. Before I've never had to plan ahead (besides for daycare really) for Kinsley's bottles. If we're out somewhere, cool I have a hooter hider and would feed her. She wakes up at night, it's cool i'll pop it out. In the mornings? No problem I've got the ole' boob handy.

But NOOO, Kinsley will have none of that (even if she's half asleep). Last night she was so tired i was POSITIVE she would latch right on for the comfort of going to sleep... I even tried spraying a little out to help her remember where her bottles come from. Yet, all I accomplished was a baby covered in breast milk screaming for her bottle.

So now i really am a jersey cow, hooked up to a pumping machine 24/7.

My hope is i can pump enough to get through at least another month, which will get us to 10 1/2 months. Then we can start using my basement supply up, which will get us to 11 1/2 and by then we'll be close enough to start Whole milk (in my opinion). I just REALLY don't want to have to transition her to formula and then transition again to whole milk! So we'll see~

All the awfulness

Here's what we're working with people in all it's awfulness.
I weigh: 165.5
My body fat is 31.5%
I am 49% water weight (i think that's what it means...)
My measurements are the following

Busts: 43" (yikes) Waist: 32"
Hips: 41.5" Pooch belly: 40"
Thighs: 23 3/4" each Upper Arms: 12 1/4" each
Neck: 13.5"

So i don't have those AWESOME before pictures for you...yet. I will take them tonight. Promise!
So lets start our journey into the The Carb Lovers Diet and the 30 day Shred!

And as a farewell to our former fatter life, here's my cute little cupcake eating a cupcake that i can no longer have (for now)!

To her credit there's some mashed potato already in her hair...
"Mom how do i get it from my fingers to my mouth?"
"Maybe if i wave my hand around in the air?"
"Opps I had an itch"
"just showing off what good gel Icing makes!"

Baby Sounds

So as Kinsley is learning to speak she is CONSTANTLY trying out new sounds. It can be sequels, screams, or letter sounds, and every now and then it's a word. Currently the "words" that we've heard leave her lips (whether she knows what she's saying or not) are:

Mama
Up
Dada
Cock

Yes you read that right, Cock. Right soooo here's my theory on that. Her name is Kinsley and often we call her K or KK. SOOO she hears the Ca sound A.LOT. So now she walks around going CaCa... so she sounds like a deranged bird. BUT every now and then she completes the sound with a K sound so it comes out as Cak... which sounds like Cock. Awesome.

So if you see me in a store hiding behind a rack of clothes while you hear this strange bird squawking and saying Cock... please don't judge!

Do the Men even get it?!?!?

So I tell my Cowboy that i need help. Sometimes he helps me, sometimes he doesn't. Normally when i need help it's not a one time thing, i would like for it to continue into the future. Example, I need help in the mornings, so don't help me once and think you covered it!

See here's MY mornings:

Get up (if K hasn't already gotten me up to feed her) and get in the shower.
Pick out clothes
Do hair
Do makeup
Feed K
Pump
Dress K
Get anything K needs for the day (extra clothes, wipes, diapers)
Get my lunch, breakfast, and coffee made (sometimes i try to do some of this the night before... sometimes it just doesn't happen)
Get K's bottles and breakfast together (again try to do it the night before, sometimes not happening)
Take the dogs out one last time
Pack pump bag with bottles, parts, etc
Make sure i have everything i need for work
give the dogs a treat
do a balanacing act of carrying my work bag, pump bag, K's bag, and K to the car... oh and coffee
Take K to daycare
drive to work

Here's the Cowboys schedule
roll out of bed
shower
dress
feed dogs while getting his breakfast ready
take dogs out
take stuff to car
come back to get his breakfast
go to work.

Now does that seem fair to ya'll?

At night here's our schedules
Me
pick up K
get home and feed dogs, let them out and figure out dinner
make dinner while entertaining K and trying to keep the dogs from bugging K
Make sure her milk is in the fridge (sometimes i forget to throw it in there)
Get dinner on the table before K has a complete meltdown.
eat dinner
(now here is where it gets tricky... if chris is or isn't home)
Isn't: Then go up and give K a bath and do the bed time ritual, etc
then come down, make sure we have pump bottles for the next day, if not start dish washer, after cleaning and loading the dishes into the dishwasher.
If i have the forethought and energy, make K's bottles and my meals for the next day.
Take dogs out again, maybe catch a show on TV, normally go up stairs, do other random things needing to be done and fall into bed.

Is Home: He does bath and i still do everything else

Cowboy's night?
He'll make his lunch for the next day, if he's home give K a bath. sometimes will clean the kitchen... uh huh...

God help me i love him! And he's an AMAZING husband... but sometimes... sometimes i need a maid!

The Stage is Set!

Alright my little chickadees, I've picked out the weight loss mumbo jumbo that i'm going to review LIVE for you!

I'm actually picking out TWO to do at the SAME time.... it's getting CRAZY in here ya'll!


So Jess mentioned the Carb Lovers diet and I think that sounds like my cup of tea. Upon further research it's really a low-calorie diet that lets you eat certain carbs... BUT you GET to EAT them!!!

Plus you shouldn't just rely on a diet or just a workout to get you into that sex kitten state. You need BOTH! So i'll be 30 day shredding it. See I have started the 30 day shred like oh 3 times but never made it past like day 3. So I figure with ya'll watching and possibly even encouraging, I'll do it!

So jump on the band wagon with me!
I'll post all of the embarrassing numbers and pictures on Monday and i'll post the recipes, amounts, etc that I use.

SO here i come K's first birthday... where i plan on being at least 20 (or more) pounds lighter and whole lot buffer!

N-C-STATE!

Alright, get ready people... I'm about to assault your eyes with LOTS of NC State propaganda because last night we WON out football game! Hells to the yeah!

So i would like to take a moment and enjoy this (it's been a while since we've been good) so without further ado, our fight song!

Shout aloud to the men who will play the game to win
We're behind you, keep fighting for State,
Hold that line, hold 'em fast,
We'll reach victory at last
We're behind you, keep fighting for State,
Rise up to the fray and let your colors wave,
Shout out for dear old N.C. State;
And where-e'er we go,
we'll let the whole world know,
We're behind you, keep fighting for State!

and now our cheer!

"The Red and White from State"

We're the Red and White from State
And we know we are the best.
A hand behind our back,
We can take on all the rest.
Go to hell, Carolina.
Devils and Deacs stand in line.
The Red and White from N.C. State.
Go State!!

And now a smile from State's favorite cheerleader (she'll have her official Cheer uniform on tomorrow... pictures to follow!)

Yea! Mommy-Daughter fans! GO STATE!
SEE she REALLY loves State!

And check out this awesome bow Princess Couture Designs made K! AWESOME!
Now she just needs some Pom poms!

I did a guest post!

Check it out over here at Confessions of a City Eater!

Confessions of a City Eater is written by Stephanie. She has a great blog where you get to oggle at her adorable daughter Cati (and her many outfits), try new recipes with her, and now Empowering Motherhood!

She's a pretty cool chick and THANK YOU so much for host my answers to your soul searching questions!

So head over to her blog and check out my answers and so much more!

Taking Back the TATAS!!

I mean don't get me wrong, I will still be open for service... and I'm still going to pump so she'll get bottles of the liquid gold... BUT for now... even though i'm on team boob:

... we're going to have her take just bottles i think... i'm sure i will feed her here and there BUT i'm really going to try not to. Mainly because, she's got teeth and the girl knows how to use them.

Now i know all your breast feeders out there are like "WHOA there! Don't let that stop you!" Well i wouldn't IF my daughter didn't inherit my hard head. You can pop her, take away the boob, or i'm sure a number of other things, but she STILL bites. And laughs while doing it! I'm serious people! My 9month old will look at me with sneaky eyes right before she "latches" on and then BAM, she bites me! And no matter how i react it doesn't stop her.

So I think it's coming to an end... I wanted it to slow down at some point so we'll see where this takes us.

I'm going to pump as much as i would have fed her so she keeps getting only the boobshakes in the bottle, plus i have like a month stocked up in the basement... so we'll get as close to 12 months as possible... PLUS this will cut down on the number of times she tries to latch on THROUGH my shirt IN PUBLIC! Awesome.

Guest Blogger Thursday!

This weeks post came to me via in inquiry for my review of their post. Emily Patterson is a Communications Coordinator for Primrose Schools. Now you might be thinking...Great, so what is Primrose Schools? Well it's school for early childhood education that concentrates on a balanced learning curriculum. They place special emphasis on literacy instruction, hands-on learning activities, building a foundation for understanding mathematics, the integration of technology to support learning, and most importantly, on the development of confident, happy children.

There isn't a Primrose School in my area but I found learning about what they have to offer very interesting, especially in this fast paced very competitive world!

The following paper from Emily is about sign language, which I found very interesting since I've been trying to teach Kinsley some sign language and she's finally getting it! I mean I can't ask her if she's hot, needs to poop, or is just made at the world. BUT i CAN ask her if she wants more to eat, if she's all done, say bye bye, eat, and milk. I'm working on fine tuning these and adding in thank you to the vocab too!

So without further ado,

Acquiring Sign Language

Early Childhood Education – Acquiring Sign Language

One of the keys to surviving in a tilted economic system in which opportunities to achieve a decent standard of living will be limited is versatility – and the ability to communicate articulately in a variety of ways with the widest possible audience. This includes bilingual ability as well as the ability to communicate in non-verbal ways for the benefit of the disabled – primarily the deaf.

At the same time, a growing shortage of qualified interpreters fluent in American Sign Language has led to more career opportunities – and if current trends continue, it's likely that skilled ASL interpreters will have little problem securing lucrative employment in a society where such a commodity is destined to be in short supply.

Signing Before They Can Speak

A great deal of research has clearly demonstrated that the early years – ages 2 to five – are the best time to educate children in different modes of communication and language. This goes beyond the spoken word (though it is an optimal time for children to learn a second language); many young children have an aptitude for signing as well.

This is not as odd as you may think. As you know, many indigenous peoples around the world, including American Indian nations, have used sign language for centuries to facilitate communication with other tribes with whom they do not share a language. Some paleontologists and anthropologists theorize that Neanderthals – who apparently lacked the vocal mechanism to produce many spoken words – depended a great deal upon hand gestures to communicate.

In fact, recent research suggests that sign language is innate. An article published in the Boulder Daily Camera in 2003 presented strong evidence that babies as young as six months old communicate with their hands:

"...by 6 to 7 months, babies can remember a sign. At eight months, children
can begin to imitate gestures and sign single words. By 24 months, children
can sign compound words and full sentences. They say sign language reduces
frustration in young children by giving them a means to express themselves
before they know how to talk." (Glarion, 2003)

The author also cites study funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development demonstrating that young children who are taught sign language at an early age actually develop better verbal skills as they get older. The ability to sign has also helped parents in communicating with autistic children; one parent reports that "using sign language allowed her to communicate with her [autistic] son and minimized his frustration...[he now] has an advanced vocabulary and excels in math, spelling and music" (Glarion, 2003).

The Best Time To Start

Not only does early childhood education in signing give pre-verbal youngsters a way to communicate, it can also strengthen the parent-child bond – in addition to giving children a solid foundation for learning a skill that will serve them well in the future. The evidence suggests that the best time to start learning ASL is before a child can even walk – and the implications for facilitating the parent-child relationship are amazing.

Co-written by Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas

Emily and Kathleen are Communications Coordinators for the network of Georgia child care facilities belonging to the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose child care schools. Primrose Schools are located in 16 states throughout the U.S. and are dedicated to delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum throughout their preschools.

She's possessed i just know it!

Quick, find an exorcist, i need them now. that's the only explanation, Kinsley is possessed!
Do you see that sweet little picture in the last post... where she's sleeping so peacefully? Yeah that was NOT taken last night... nope Not.At.All.

Why was it not taken last night? Because she was NOT sleeping... peacefully or not! She was awake! A.Lot. Okay I lied, she did sleep... if she was ON ME. No not next to me cuddled in bed... On.Me. Uh huh. She could NOT be put down without crying, A.Lot. She could not be nursed to sleep. NOTHING. UH!

Last night at one point i sent the hubs in, no luck, she screamed louder. So i went in to "help"... yea, stopped crying as soon as she saw me. UH!

Alright ya'll, i LOVE my baby and i LOVE my husband but i seriously wanted to throttle them both last night. I mean not so much the baby, since well, she's a baby... but TOTALLY the hubs. After I took K off his hands the boy had the nerve to go back to sleep! I mean yes, whatever, one of us should sleep if the other one can't right? HELL NO! If Momma isn't sleeping then NO ONE will be sleeping anymore. I want him to stay awake starring at me in case i need something from him. WHICH I DID! WHICH HE WASN'T AWAKE to hear!

Then this morning... when he's getting ready to leave and I accidentally haven't gotten out of bed because i fell back asleep for 30 minutes WITH the baby ON me... I ask him to help me because i'm going to be late... His response? "Well just try to lay her there and see what happens because I'm late too". I. Don't. Flippin. Care! If you're late too! STAY! Because ya'll know what happened... she laid there without waking up, until 5 mins later when he shut the door to leave the house... then she woke up and could NOT be put down without HUGE crocodile tears and earth shattering screams!

I still don't know what crawled up her diaper and bit her in the ass last night. She doesn't have a tooth cutting, she doesn't have a fever, she's had consistent bowel movements... I'm left with only one option... Demons. Got to be those damn demons again.

So while i research ways on concurring demons, I'll let you enjoy some boots that i'm dreaming about!

Wordless Wednesday!

The good, the bad, and the ugly

I write this post with a little sadness. This weekend we went to NC for yet another wedding. This was our fifth of seven weddings this year. We were really excited about it too! It was going to be our little first mini-vaca without Kinsley. We were excited to see good friends and have an over-all good time.

We got to Lincolnton, NC early so I could have my nails touched up and get a pedicure! Heaven! When we checked into the Hotel (Comfort Inn) our room was a sauna, but they moved us and even gave us a discount! Awesome!

So off to the rehearsal we go! Now, check out this awesome hunting themed grooms cake! The hubs was TOTALLY jealous!
Chris go to hang out with one of his best friends Mike and i got some good bonding time in with Mike's new Wife Allison!
We were completely ready for a GREAT weekend!
And then after the rehearsal and the bar afterwards it all started to slowly go downhill. First, Allison and I decided to bunk together to allow the three amigos (Hubs, her hubs, and my best friend's hubs) bonding time. As we're getting ready for bed we notice the carpet is damp... lovely, putting on flip flops. Then we pull back the stained comforter to see blood stained sheets. I mean it wasn't like a cow was butchered, more like a scab was picked but GROSS!! Seriously. Oh it was on a pillow case too! So once THOSE were changed and we wrapped our pillows inn our own belongings, we went to bed, around 2am.

Until 9 am... when housekeeping entered our room because they wanted to "count" our towels. He the proceeded to take the dirty ones and NEVER bring us clean ones! Awesome.

So Allison and I make the most of a bad night and go shopping... where we bought AWESOME shoes!

We get back, everyone gets ready. We meet they guys at the wedding (that they are in) and enjoy a very humorous and touching ceremony!

There's the groom now (Cowboy's old college roommate)
The HUGE wedding party... really LOVED the bridesmaid dresses!
We got to visit with old friends we had lost touch with...
And loved on each other...
...and then the bottom fell out. Ya'll I feel SOOO bad for the bride and groom but they wanted me to warn anyone i could so here I am warning!

DO NOT have your wedding at WOODMILL WINERY in vale, NC. Here's the low-down.

9pm rolls around and people are getting cut off at the bar and next thing we know NO ONE is getting served. Why? Because they shut the bar down an hour before the end of the reception... um except it doesn't end until 11. Hmmm. So after a few words from the brides parents they open it back up. BUT WAIT! Music MUST be turned off by 930. WHAT?!?! Why? "Policy"

So here they have the place rented until 11 but they can't have music or a bar.... riiiiight.

They owner was spouting something about "their contract" and the brides parents were calling Bull Shit. The Bride was spitting fire (rightfully so) and saying that the lady they had their contract made with said X, Y, and Z... or else they would have never had their wedding there to begin with (b/c ya'll, they wanted a party... no bar and no music does not a party make!)... to which the owner replied "Well, she doesn't work here anymore". So he let someone go, after she made promises on his behalf to people... to which he won't honor those promises, nor took the time to make sure ahead of time that was understood.

Instead this man shut the wedding down and made it so that whenever anyone, including the Bride and Groom remember their special day it will forever be tainted by his abdominal customer service.

So basically, IF you live in the Gastonia/Lincolnton/Hickory area of NC tell you friends and family to NOT have their wedding at Woodmill Winery. I mean their wine isn't that good (taste like grape juice or stale wine) and besides everything else, you never know what you're going to get come the day of your wedding.

The owner wanted to make sure I mentioned that he "allowed" them to go 30mins PAST the time they were supposed to be playing music... so every PLEASE thank him for allowing them to be able to throw the bouquet and garter WITH music... since they didn't know that it was supposed to be cut off an hour and a half before the end of the wedding. So thanks Larry for being so incredibly thoughtful (please notice the sarcasm dripping from every letter).

I would really appreciate it if any and everyone would pass this message and/or post along to friends/family/etc or even repost it so that we can stop other brides from having their wedding ruined and having to finish their reception at a friends house. I think it's interesting that on their web page they have "A Winery with a Heart" since obviously there was no heart present this night.

It's like this... do you want to know?

SO a new installment of the McFatty Thursday but on a MONDAY! I thought that it might be fun to "try out" some diets/workouts etc for you. I know you've always wondered "does this REALLY work???" about a lot of programs that promise results. Plus you want to know if you could really find the time to do it, how easy it is, etc.

Well Hello, I'm your new Guinea-pig! Do you want to know what the 30 day shred will really do to your body in 30 days? Do you want to know what a particular diet will do, will it even help?

So i've tired A LOT of diets in my life and some DO work but they are work... so where's the helpfulness in that?? We all gain weight because it's easier. It's easier to grab fast food or pop a pizza in the oven. It's easier to get lost in To Do's around the house then take 30 minutes to workout. So I'll let you know if a diet or workout program is really worth your time!

So let me know what you want me to try! I'll do one program at a time so you can really know how it helps/ effects your body, etc.

There ARE rules for suggestions though.
1. I DO NOT have a hour and a half to workout each day so please don't recommend one that needs me to... because honestly if we all had an hour and half to workout every day we wouldn't be in this situation to begin with!

2. I DO need to eat, so no grapefruit diets, liquid diets, etc.

I promise to:
1. Take embarrassing before and after pictures
2. Constantly update you on the progress
3. To tell you the truth about what i think and if you should spend the money and time on it

So I'll let you know on Thursday what i'll be trying out first. Until then let me know what you would like for me to try!

Once Upon a Sunday

When I was growing up we ALWAYS went to church on Sundays. I mean it wasn't even a question of "Hey do you WANT to go" or "Do you FEEL like going", etc. It was just, like school... you GO! And eventually a new manatory event would take place on Sundays. Lunch with my parents best friends. For a while it was ALWAYS chinese, sometimes we would branch out to other restaurants.

Well my parents best friends became like second parents to me... or an Aunt and Uncle if you will. Here's K with Aunt Terri!
We'll hopefully keep a form of these traditions going at our house in MD. But i sure miss those lazy North Carolina Sundays with friends!

Lets play dress up

My parents just hate having a granddaughter that they get to spoil within an inch of her life. They hate it so much that they bought a steamer truck and are filling it with any dressup item they can find. I mean it's got dress, tutus, high heels, crowns, gloves, purses, you name it's in there.

And Since Chris and I are BACK in North Carolina today for ANOTHER wedding and we're getting all dressed up, i thought it would be fun to show you Kinsley getting dressed up! How flippin fun is this??
Oh we just sparkle!

"People, do you see what they are doing to me? They think this is supposed to be fun. Does this look like fun? Call the authorities now!"

Lord I love it!

What am i doing?

I'm riding in the car while my sweet Northern Cowboy drives... and there's no baby in the car. No i didn't abbandon her or forget her. She's at daycare and will be picked up by my mother-in-law, her Grandmother and will get to spend the whole weekend getting spoiled. I promise, if she could communicate with you she would tell you that she would much rather stay at home with a doating Grandma instead of driving 8 hours to a wedding to only have her schedule all thrown off wack and then ride 8 hours back... because of the car she is not a fan.


SOO for the first time in 9 months i'm able to take a car ride and enjoy it again. If I'm tired, i get to nap (since my driving scares N.C. worse then losing his right arm. He drives like a grandpa, i drive like i'm trying to win the Sprint cup... which i often do! I have it in writting curtisey of our highway patrol). If i'm bord i can read, crochet, watch a movie, BLOG!

So i'm really torn right now. I mean the weekend is when i get to spend real quality time with my little cupcake. And i'm not going to get that this week. But i know that the hubs and i need an "adult" weekend (bow chicka wow wow). I know that we need to get out and have fun. I also know that i will be fine. I will miss my little girl worse then i would miss my right arm, but we'll make it through.

So pray for us, this is our first FULL adult (bow chicka wow wow... yes i have to say that every time i say adult)weekend. Before it would be a night.... or drive down with her, drop her like a bad habit and then pick her up to snuggle together in her carseat on the way home. Not this weekend.... this weekends goal is to get back early on Sunday because ya'll, i really need my right arm.

9 Months, and i'm late.. what ya gonna do about it?

I'm warning you now, this is the best that i could do, so deal with it! This kid is crazy fast now and as much as she likes being a ham on camera she hates sitting still for it. There is no more point smile and click at our house....nooooo. It's more like throw her in the chair and start clicking as you're pulling your hand away... which really sucks since I have a point and shoot camera that is slower then molasses in winter time. So here's our wild woman!

She is currently

18 lbs 5 oz

28 1/4" tall

She's still only had breastmilk, no formula for those chunky thighs!

Enjoys feeding herself big girl food and mostly rejects baby food.

Loves Yogurt

Loves her new baby doll

Is quite the crawler but still pulls up on EVERYTHING or ONE in order to cruise

Knows the meaning of No and laughs in the face of disapline

Still enjoys swim class and splashing in the tub

She can Say Mama, Up, and Babababa

Seeing herself in a mirror still makes her happier then a Junebug in the summertime

oh and her latest? She can give a high five!

Ev.ery.where!