Don't read if you don't want to hear me complain.

I'm in a dark, angry, painful place right now and i need to vent and cry about it. So if you don't want to hear about it then don't read this. This post is for me.

I went for my 36 weeks appointment today at the OB. Last week I was a centimeter dilated. With Kinsley at 36 weeks I was 2 centimeters dilated and 70% effaced. I know ALL of that means nothing but i was hoping, even counting on more of the same... Nope. I'm still ONE centimeter dilated and 50% effaced. I cried... a lot...

In addition, I was telling my doctor the pain is so bad that I've been having to take the Tylenol 3 (Tylenol with codeine in it) around 6 nights since last week and 3-4 of those nights i wake up in enough pain that i have to take another pill to help me get back to sleep. To top it off the pills don't stop the pain, they just take the edge off. So I don't take it during the day, so i walk around in terrible pain all day.

AFTER I tell him this he informs me that i shouldn't be taking it more than 3 nights a week because it takes so long to get out of the baby's system they don't know what kind of harm it might do the baby!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? So the ONE thing that sort of helped i can't take because I might already be doing harm to my baby!?!?!? So now those 5-6 nights a week where i got sort of okay sleep, i can't get that anymore AND baby isn't really progressing.

I'M SO TIRED OF BEING PREGNANT! They won't talk induction until 39 weeks because babies born through induction prior to 39 weeks are 6 times more likely to go into the NICU (which OBVIOUSLY i DON'T want).

So now i'm going to be stuck being pregnant FOREVER and I'm going to be in pain through it all.

I really need this baby to come early on his own. I really need to know any and all old wives tales that you think might have worked for you. Maybe if i do them all it'll do something. More than that, please pray, pray for my pain and for baby to make an early and healthy exit. OBVIOUSLY if it means a healthy baby or a baby with complications i'll deal with the pain... but if he can come early and healthy... YES I'LL TAKE IT!

It's amazing what little things do!

I was in Target the other day, one of my many weekly visits, and was waiting for a prescription so I was checking out the kids stuff and stumbled across these two little coats, one was Elmo and one was Minnie Mouse. The Elmo might have been favored had she seen them BUT she does love Minnie Mouse and Pink and this coat wasn't as terrible for public wearing.

I texted Chris and asked him if she would want it and he responded with a Yes so home it came.

I think she likes it! She had to put it on right away! It's Minnie Mouse, Pink, has pockets, AND a "hat". Winner all around!

I love that face!

Despite what you might be thinking, K does get to have fun!

Last Tuesday, despite being in terrible pain Kinsley and I attended a play date at BounceU. It was family night and for $18 she got to play from 5-8 (we left at 7) and we both got pizza and drinks! AND she got to see her friends and burn energy! SCORE!

To say she had fun was an understatement. AND I was worried. She didn't have a good day at school, didn't take a nap... It really could have gone either way, but she was good AND had fun!

This slide below was AWESOME! I had to go down with her a few times in the beginning, mostly because i had to help her to the top... do you SEE the size of this thing?

But she got the hang of it pretty quickly when these two PITA kids weren't crawling OVER her and almost knocking her down while their parents did nothing.

As you can see there was A LOT to do and we did it all. Yep she, Parker, and I. Oh and her friends... but yep i was in on it... wanted to cry in pain but totally worth it for her smile!

These are the PITA boys

This is my little girl wrestling with me!

FRIENDS (minus one who got in on another pic)! The girl in the front is 3 months older than K, the blond is 3 months younger than K. And they all play and argue like sisters! BFFs in the making?

So all in all a perfect night that ended with a "good job listening" lollipop! So see, I'm no all doom and gloom, K does get to smile and see the outside world occasionally!

Have you ever thought about it this way?

So for those of you who have never been pregnant and are all like "OMG stop complaining already, you wanted this" think about pregnancy this way.

How would you feel IF you gained 25lbs in 7-8 months and it was mostly in your mid section?
       Most people take two years at least to gain that much weight!
How would you feel if your waist size went from 31inches to 51 inches in 8 months?
       20 inches people! and it's HEAVY!!
How would you feel if that weight you gained pulled the tendons between your muscles and ribcage and caused swelling and irritation so that you were in constant pain?
How would you feel if that weight you gained moved your pelvis bones suddenly?
       Like you felt popping!
How would you feel if that weight you gained danced on you bladder and other internal organs randomly?

Do you see where I'm going with this? Not to mention the back pain and all the other lovelies of pregnancy.

There are special moments of pregnancy that make it all worth it... mostly the end, when you're HOLDING the kid on the outside... but right at this moment I'm forgetting what they all are. I did ask for this but the thing is you never know what you're going to get. My Mom had a lot of swelling (being in the end of her pregnancy in Texas heat didn't help that one) but that was it, she was a baby machine. A lot of other women i talked to before hand LIED to me... no seriously they did. They were all "Oh I LOVED being pregnant, it was great" and then I got knocked up and they changed their tune. I even had it all sugar coated after Kinsley (and she moved my tailbone backwards!).

With K I was mostly okay, except for the tailbone and just being done in the end.
With Park I've had morning sickness (all day sickness) and it's been off and on throughout pregnancy, rib pain, pelvic pain, back pain, he hurts me when he moves (K never did), and much stronger and longer braxton hicks. Oh and Vagina pain. yea!

I will say though, my hubs has been AMAZING-balls lately. He's really getting that I'm in A LOT of pain now (since prescription meds aren't even helping) and he's been doing a lot to help and more importantly, a lot to understand. If i didn't have him, i might kill someone.

THe forever controversal push gift

This subject is a source of contention for many Momma's. The controversy over a push gift is astounding to me. People get very opinionated about. What is a push gift you might ask? It's a gift the Daddy gives the Momma for pushing a watermelon out her whoha.

Some Mommas feel that it's silly and a baby is gift enough. Other Mommas feel that they need a little pat on the back. I feel that if you can get another gift out of your husband then TAKE IT!

My push gift when Kinsley was born was a really cute Coach purse that i found at the outlet. This time I didn't really have any ideas of what I wanted. I tossed around a few things but wasn't really jonesing for anything.

Then the hubs came home with the BEST IDEA EVER! He asked me (while pretensing that he understands if i don't think it's a good idea, etc) if i would like a cleaning service for a little while after Parker is born! OMG the heavens are raining down on me! If i hadn't already been squealing with delight while playing with my daughter, I could have started when he mentioned that!

I know when i go back to work and have two kids AND two dogs I'm going to lose my shit for a while trying to keep up with everything. Now, don't get the wrong impression, the hubs helps out around the house A LOT! But his hours are long and our nights and weekends are only going to get shorter with another human in the mix. Plus with Kinsley I had a minor "I've lost it" few months over being over whelmed with cleaning (mostly cleaning up after the dogs), dinner, work, etc. But my husband has HEARD me and LISTENED to me and he's giving me the best push gift ever! HELP!

Now when I go back to work I'll have someone come and do the big cleaning for me (bathrooms, etc), I'll order more ready made meals from Schwan's to help with last minute dinners, and I'll get to spend time with my kids and husband!

So my stance on a push gift? 1. Why not? and 2. Hell YEAH if it's a cleaning service!

Okay i REALLY want to have this baby and...

See if people's predictions are true. Kinsley is a "big helper". She likes to do anything you do. Cooking, cleaning, you name it! She also LOVES to take care of her baby dolls like we take care of her, including changing "BIG POOPS".

Lately she's been visiting Chris's Grandma a lot at the nursing home, whether we go or she goes alone with Debbie (her grandma). She taken to pushing her baby dolls around in their stroller on the floor and saying hi to everyone. I'm kinda shocked she's not scared, since most of the adults on that floor are drooling and not very coherent (Alzheimer's). But she LOVES it... but what does she love even more? Getting to feed Grandma Ruth

I mean beyond cute right? She was actually pretty good at it too!
So here's the debate... whenever my son decides to FINALLY leave my body, will K be a big helper or a jealous toddler, or a little of both? I can't wait to find out!

The Hospital Bag...

Oh this "hospital bag" has turned into a post in and of its own. Here's what I'm using as my bag:

It's from thirty-one... It's HUGE. I thought it would be perfect since there are 3 containers that go in (see above). So one would be for me, one for the hubs, and one for Parker/labor. So i got to packing.

Here's what I packed for me (since i know there are some ladies who have no clue)

1. A robe
2. Bathroom stuff (shower stuff, post shower, make up, hair, etc)
3. Nipple cream and breast pads
4. Towel (the ones there for shower are AWFUL!)
5. clothes to go home in
6. 2 breastfeeding tanks
7. breastfeeding bra
8. night gown
9. 2 pairs of underwear I'm willing to throw away (you never know if you'll like the mesh ones they give you)
10. socks (one regular pair and one no slip)
11. my prescription meds (some hospitals want to give them to you... i figure if they don't care I'll have them on hand)
12. Camera, charger, health insurance card (all this is in my purse daily so...)

Then for Parker I packed:

1. Go home outfit (one in newborn size and the other in 0-3months
2. His diaper bag
3. blanket (no needed so much but wanted... sometimes you just want your own cute boy stuff on them)
4. swaddling blanket (see above)
5. boppy
6. hat

Chris packed his bag with a change of clothes (comfy and something to sleep in), something to go home in, towel, and a bathroom bag... oh and a hat (in case he comes from work and don't have one).

I also need to pack the laptop (figure mother-in-law can stop at our house the next day and bring it) and pillows (theirs suck).

After the hospital stay I've already gotten

1. Petroleum Jelly (for Park's manhood)
2. tucks pads
3. Epsom salt
4. Pads
5. Nipple Cream
6. Nipple pads
7. Nipple shield (needed this last time when K didn't latch correctly and made me crack)

I still need to get benitztine (I don't know it's exact name but you spray it down there after you've gone to the bathroom to help with any pain), stool softener (pooping after "pooping out a kid" is scary), and anti-bac for the world.

Other essentials i didn't list but are packed that you might want to know specifically about... Lotion (you'll feel soo dry), chap stick (same), snacks (especially i you're going to breastfeed, you'll be starving at all hours) and water (that's given to you at the hospital).

Hope my list helps you to get started! It's stuff i brought last time, sent mother-in-law out for, and wish i had last time.

Can't think of a title...

So this weekend was sort of productive and sort of relaxing and i have a confession...

This weekend my mother-in-law took care of Kinsley so that Chris and I could go and look at a truck for him. We didn't end up getting it. We came back home, visited with her while K napped and then played with K a little when she woke up and off Kinsley went for a night of excitement with her Uncle, Aunt, and then to spend the night at Grandma's. Yesterday Chris and I meant to pick up K in the morning but we were slow and lazy and by the time we got our act together my Mother-in-law said that K was hair twirling (that's a sign that she's tired), so we let her nap... as her nap went on Mother-in-law offered to keep her another night since she was off on Monday. I thought this was a great idea because then i could get up early and go to work to earn some credit hours. But here's where the confession comes in...

You fell GUILTY being happy to have a break! The hubs and I rested, we did stuff around the house, we spent time together and through it all I kept thinking about how wonderfully easy it was to go everything and how nice it was to not have to stop every second for a "Mommy..." request or to hover everything around a nap time. THEN you start getting this voice in your head telling you that you're a bad person for not spending time with your child that day and an even worse person for being okay and even (OMG STOP THE PRESSES) happy about it! Now before you go calling child services on me, i LOVE LOVE LOVE my daughter... but people we need a break every now and then! My old neighbor used to ship her kid off to the grandparents all the time (okay MAYBE once a month) so she and hubs could have a date night and sleep in the next morning. I used to think out loud to myself (this is where you talk to yourself about stuff you think you should be thinking but really aren't) about her not caring for her son as much as i care for my daughter... while trying to ignore the fact that 1. she stays at home so she "cares" for her son every freaking moment of the day (OMG I love daycare!) and 2. I was SOOO secretly jealous of her that her boob wasn't attached to her kid 24/7 when she was home like mine were in the first year.

So through this pregnancy, especially through this pregnancy, I've learn to enjoy the moments that we get to ourselves. Whether it's alone or together as a couple.

So since we had SO much time on our hands we napped a lot. It was great to not have the hubs bitch at me for napping AGAIN, since he was too! We also got a lot done... cleaned and put away. We also got the hospital bag (oh dear lord, it's HUGE) packed and put in the car and the car seat is put together and put in the car. So I'm 35 and 1/2 weeks and ready for this baby to come!

35/35

Yep, 5 more weeks and 35 more days until my due date... lets hope Parker doesn't want to stay in THAT long. Here's what I look like with Park:

I don't have a pic of 35 weeks with K but here's me at 34 and 36

I think i might look a little bigger but not a whole lot. It's hard to pick up Kinsley now without feeling extreme stabbing pain and it hurts my heart since she can't understand that. Chris is being AMAZING and really trying to help me out with her, but she's not being so helpful with that. She's SUPER clingy and fussy and we just don't know what to do about it, if anything. She's even being this way at school.

Well here's to NOT being pregnant for 35 more days and maybe just 2-3 more weeks!

How i found out I'm a centimeter dialated...

So it's no secret that I've been having a TON of pain this pregnancy. Well yesterday it all sort of culminated into one giant piece of shit day.

I have had pain off and on in my upper ribcage just below my left boob. Normally i can get it to go away by laying a certain way... not this time. This time it was (and still is) really bad and wouldn't go away, started Tuesday morning. On Wednesday the pain was still there AND BAD and i now had awful stabbing pain in my upper back on the left side. Basically the left side of me sucks. Add on top of this add in crotch/hip pain and a toddler that was up from 12 until 3 in the morning off and on and i was not in good shape yesterday.

I left work to go home and rest and try to telework for part of the day but i couldn't get comfortable, or even close. Finally after being in tears practically I gave in and called the OB. They had me come in to get checked out. I explained everything and that Parker hadn't been terribly active compared to normal days. They checked my cervix and said I was (at 34 weeks 5 days) dilated a centimeter, but that might be nothing since I've had a child before. In MY humble non-medical opinion i think it means something (not imminent but...) by all the pressure I've been having down there.

They then took me to have a stress test done on Parker. This is where they hook up two monitors to you, one to watch his heart rate and one to watch for contractions. As soon as they strapped those bad boys around my belly he "woke up". He does NOT like having things on him! lol. His heart rate was perfect and I didn't have any contractions. So we're good.

They sent me on my way with a prescription for Tylenol with codeine in it and that was that. I took it last night and it helped a little. I still felt pain but it took the edge off. I'm only taking it at night so i can rest and then regular Tylenol during the day.

The pain is still here and hurts but at least we know Park is okay. AND Kinsley slept last night so I only had to get up to pee and change positions, NOT to get her back to sleep!

I love My Gym!

So we used to go to Little Gym (for those of you unfamilar with these places they are like fun places where kids can play and burn energy relatively safely and they are indoors. They also teach them stuff but that's not why we REALLY go there is it?). We went to Little Gym because it had a good class time for us (i can only take K on Saturdays) and we had two of our neighbors going to there. BUT, I didn't really like it. Kinsley thought it was cool but I don't think she was REALLY excited about it ever. Eventually summer came and babies were born and we all stopped going to Little Gym.

K needed something though and I looked into Dance classes, but the places around us were not be responsive. Then i looked into My Gym, I used to work at one in college and knew K would love their program A LOT more. BUT, the saturday class was full. But, low and behold, right before Christmas, I got the call that she could now attend!!

TOTAL HIT! They still have a great program, awesome teachers and so much to do. Every week Kinsley can't wait to go and "swing, play in balls, slide, and DANCE" (all her words!). They change the set up every week and have new songs and activities and it all just flows better!

Every week they have a time where the kids get to swing and there's always special swings during this time. This week... the ZIP LINE!

I would say she's pretty much LOVING it!

And here she is in the "big" swing of the week, the bed swing.

ONLY time a boy is allow in her bed!

My Gym was a great choice for us. No it's not as close as other places but it's SO worth it for that smile!

34 weeks

Don't I look happy! lol. Honestly i'm a hot mess... but that's okay. Baby is still there. He's kinda high this morning but by mid day (i'll try to take a photo for comparison) he'll be LOW.

How far along? 34 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 23lbs
Maternity clothes? duh
Sleep: Lately it's been better. I've been doing less pillows low and more around my head and it's be much better... plus i'm TRYING to take less naps mid-day and instead working out or cross stitching and i think that's making a difference... even though i REALLY want to sleep!
Best moment this week: All the "lovely" comments. Coworker: "WHOA how many more days?!?!" Guard: "Month and a half! You would think I was the owner of the baby! haha" (gross)
Movement: he likes to "stretch" after I eat. by stretch i mean shove his back outward to stretch my belly and then press as hard as he can on anything internal he can find. yea!...
Food cravings: no... rarely WANT anything... i eat because i'm supposed to

Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: just lots of braxton hicks contractions... especially through the supermarket
Belly Button in or out? popping out... chris thinks it's gross.
Stretch marks? Yep he's found places that Kinsley missed and is leaving his own mark... great
What I miss: NOT being in pain at the end of every day... Being able to bend... being able to breathe!
What I am looking forward to: Holding him!
Weekly Wisdom: don't feel guilty for the number of hours of TV your toddler is watching while you're pregnant... YOU'RE PREGNANT!.
Milestones: none. I just want to be done but he needs to stay in for at least 3 more weeks.

She really is amazing!

I know i complain a lot about my crazy toddler on here but I'm going to use this post to list out the things Kinsley has done or is doing that make my heart melt.

1. When she kicks my belly she immediately says "Sorry Mommy, Sorry Parker" And then kisses my belly.

2. When i was having a "I'm sad and pregnant" moment on Sunday She said "It okay Mommy, I kiss it, all better" and she proceeded to kiss any part of me she could get a hold of.

3. At dinner we pray. If we forget she insist on saying "Prayers". We've started to let her say prayers now. this is her prayer "Prayer.. *mumbles*... Prayer... *mumbles* AMEN!" We love it!

4. Kinsley can sing a lot of songs, ABCs, Itsey Bitsey Spider, Twinkle Twinkle, The Wheels on the Bus, etc. But my favorite is Jesus Loves Me. When I sing it to her I always say at the "YES Jesus Loves Kinsley...etc" But she insist on singing for every person in our family and sometimes her daycare. Makes for a very long song. When she sings it along she walks around the room pointing (almost like a sermon) yelling "And Jesus Love MOMMY!, Yes and Jesus Loves GRANDMA!" etc until everyone, even all the dogs she knows, are covered.

5. Kinsley has an amazing vocabulary and knack for speech, but she still has come really cute toddler words
Pashee = Passy
Cutter = Color
Yayou = Love you
Good Day = Have a good day
Hold You? = Will you hold me?
Booboo Ice! = She wants Elmo Ice for her (or her baby's) boo boo
Nite Nite Mommy Bed = she's trying to convince me to let her sleep in my bed
coome = excuse me
Prayers = I want to pray
*** Hit You! = **** Hit me (she's tattling)
Chicken = all meat
I Like *** (while her head shakes no) = she telling you she doesn't like something
Gipig = Guinea Pig
Telf or shelf = She wants to watch "Elf on the Shelf"
Gogee = Her friend Josie
Bottom = Her friend Autumn
Baby Jesus = All new babies she sees
PARker = Parker (she says it almost with a norther accent)
MIIIChael = Michael (said with a southern accent... she's very confused)

6. Kinsley is very aware of the rules they enforce at "school" (daycare) and likes to tell us them at home while she's breaking them...
"Baba (Barbara) Feet Down"
"Baba sit down"
"Baba two hands" (hold cups with two hands)

7. Kinsley is also turning into a master negotiator, especially at dinner. I told her the other night that she had to eat more of her dinner and she looked at me and said "One bite chicken Mommy, den all done" (while nodding her head). She will do this often and in many situations to get her way.

8. She's a product of the DVR generation and whenever a commerical does come on she immediately says "Oh No Mommy"

9. Kinsley is a master "Mommy" with her baby dolls. She takes them on walks, feeds them (from bottles and spoons), changes their "Big Poop Mommy", rocks them, sings to them, reads to them, and more.

10. Kinsley reads books to US now most nights. She reads them backwards. We think she does this so that her favorite Piggy get his passy BACK rather than losing it.

11. She is a pro at manners and will often remember them without help. She'll say Please and Thank You. She'll also say "Thank You Mommy" when she does something FOR you. She says Excuse me when she burbs or toots or sometimes in passing someone in the store. She's (VERY SLOWLY) starting to say it when she wants to talk to me when I'm talking to others.

I'm so proud of my baby, I really am. She's blows me away every day by how smart she is, I just hope I can keep up with her!

I do love y'all, i'm just tired.

I think K is too!

I don't know WHY Blogger rotated this but... this is K sleeping on her brother Saturday early evening.

We've been busy going here and there and well I've been pregnant and in pain. Combine all that and I'm short on pictures and time. Last night the pressure was so bad down below that I told Chris if there were contractions i would be pushing right then. He still doesn't believe me I think.

Kinsley has been VERy clingy lately... see above. I went to a thirty-one event (NEW CATALOG!!!!) on Saturday morning and didn't get home until around 130. Well that little girl was NOT going to take a nap. She didn't for Chris and when I tried she still didn't. Finally I brought her downstairs with me (after my nap, because I'm an awesome Mom like that made her stay in her room for "quite time" while I slept) and she went right to sleep on my belly for around 40 minutes. OMG she's so cute!

Parker, besides making me feel like he's going for an early exit, has been beating me up from the inside. When he moves it is powerful and painful. He doesn't just stretch or roll he stretches, presses down on whatever he can find and THEN rolls WHILE still pushing out or down as hard as he can. He's going to be a strong one... good things since he's going to have a very "caring" big sister to battle with and two pups.

Lately I've been feeling like a terrible friend. I haven't been staying in touch with my girlfriends like i used to. I know part of it is life, part of it is pregnancy/raising a toddler, and part of it is sure laziness. But i miss my girlfriends, I miss their love and support. I miss relaxing with them. I hate it that with some you feel like a kid is in your picture and not theirs so that distances you. With some you allow physical distance put emotional distance between you. And yet others, when the convenience is gone then you allow the friendship to fade. I don't want to lose my friends because I changed churches, they moved, I had a kid, or any number of other things. Sure I can't just pick up like i use to, BUT i CAN pick up my phone! I'm sorry friends! I will be a better friend soon! I miss y'all!

Have you lost touch with a friend lately?

Thankfulness

So I could get all warm and fuzzy with you and tell you I'm thankful for my daughter, for the baby I'm growing, for my amazing husband, for my family... but all that is a given right? I mean you KNOW despite my complaints that I'm thankful for them and everything else right? okay... so lets talk about what I'm REALLY thankful for!

1. The minuscule half dose of caffeine I'm allowed in my BIG coffee that helps me prop open my eyes when I'm trying to get myself and a fussy toddler ready too early in the day
2. For under eye concealer that hides (sort of) the fact that I'm often a walking zombie
3. Make-up period, makes people think I have a pregnancy glow when really i just have an awesome blush!
4. Big, supportive, covering panties! I'm sure the hubs would not agree on this one but, as my ever growing ass gets larger and larger the tiny low rise string of nothing panties are just not cutting it for this honking chunk of meat that is wiggling the strings off despite my best attempt to keep them on.
5. Grandmas. I mean I'm thankful for them as people but especially as grandmas that want to take my toddler for a few hours here and there to give me rest and my mind back.
6. books on CD. These prevent me from going into a raging conniption fit during my commute to and from work, you should all be thankful for this.
7. Fruit snacks, muffins, lollipops these are all amazing bribes that i use when i need a happy toddler
8. Daycare, seriously, even if she were only there for a few hours i would still love them! sometimes momma just needs a break. plus they do cool things too like teach her stuff
9. Charmin toilet paper. when you are peeing as much as I am you like anything that is soft down there
10. Schwan's: this is a frozen food delivery service and their food is amazing. Taste homemade and so i just pop it in the oven with no effort and it taste like there was effort. Score lazy momma!

So what are you thankful for?

What's in a resolution?

So it's the new year and I'm five days late in naming my New Years Resolutions... maybe punctuality should be one of them? Yea that's a laugh with a slow husband, a toddler and soon to be new born...

So lets talk about resolutions. It's all the rave on the blogosphere these days, might as well jump on the bandwagon... All the cool kids are doing it!

I would LOVE to start out the obvious and doable like Have a baby! But, that might be a bit of a cop-out since well... it's going to happen whether I want it to or not. So lets move on to some things that will actually take some effort (not the labor and deliver isn't effort) on my part.

1. Get back to MAKING meals for my family and making the healthy
    See the problem is I've been very tired with this pregnancy and Kinsley has been very particular about what she will eat. So I've been lazy and McDonald's might have become one of our "major" food groups. Sad I know. So, even though I will be tired with a toddler AND a newborn I want to get back to making healthy meals for my family... bring back Kinsley's love of veggies! Which this resolution will lead me into my next one...

2. Lose weight.
    OMG can i get any more cleshay? I mean it's not like EVERYONE on the plant doesn't say this for New  years. That's why the damn mini gym in my work basement is full and I'm forced to walk stairs! But here's the thing; I'm starting of this year pregnant so once this baby comes out I'm bound to lose SOME weight so there's that goal already met! But, I guess for sake of resolutions I should be more... specific? God you people are demanding! Alright so here it is. I weighed 172 when I became inpregnanted with Parker. OBVIOUSLY I want to be at least that weight again... but by the end of the year I would like to be 152 (or less). Eventually I would like to be 135-142 (I know that sounds like crazy talk people but in college I was 125 dripping wet) but, I think that might be asking A LOT for me with my crazy life of people, breastfeeding, etc.

3. Paint and decorate my bedroom
    This sounds easy to most but since it took us three month shy of 6 years to paint the rest of our house, this is a GOOD New Years Resolution. My bedroom is cream. The walls are cream, the trim is cream, the ceiling is cream, even the outlets are cream. This MUST change. I do not have any curtains up nor do we have any artwork/ decoration of any kind up.

4. Find a Church and GO TO IT!
    This should be number one, but it would be a lot of work to move it now with all that cutting and pasting. So here it is at number four. We had a great church, the Pastor is great, the congregation is great, but it just didn't feel like home, especially to Chris. Maybe it's the worshiping in the gym (I know, God is everywhere, but we're traditionalist), the constant slue of praise songs with little to no Hymns, or the two month long sermons about giving money. It just wasn't home to us. We want to try out a more modern Catholic church in town, but it scares us since there isn't a nursery so we'll have a crazy two year old running around screaming "Baby Jesus" every time she sees a baby... i guess she could be saying worse things? Anyway we want and need a church to call home and raise our kids in AND we would prefer to not drive 40mins to church every Sunday...

5. Become more Organized
    I have a problem, I have a lot of stuff. I purge but it's still everywhere. Coupons, shoes, thank you cards, thirty-one stuff... it just keeps building. And another huge problem, there's no where to really put it all. We don't have an office. We don't have a large kitchen. It's just hard to find a home for items that i use sort of regularly but not in a designated area. So yea, I've got to figure something out.

6. Have more date nights/alone time with the hubs
    We have really let it slip lately. We're either too busy or too tired to do anything. We'll get a babysitter in a heart beat so we can paint but, get one for an actual date, yeah right! We need to work on keeping us connected so that as a family WE are connected. We still have a deep love and respect and passion for each other, we just need to give each other our time. He needs to give me his time that he's always pouring into work (which he has been REALLY great about lately, we get to see him all the time! I love it!) and I need to get better about putting him before Kinsley and soon to be Parker. It's hard right now since I'm in pain and completely out of energy thanks to this kid growing in my belly, but after he's out and we've recovered I need to step up my game.

So there you have it. My resolutions. Are YOU going to hold me accountable?

Roll when you hit the pavement honey!

When Kinsley was a baby I found myself RUSHING home to get a few extra minutes of play time with her. I would wake up GLADLY at 430am to get to nurse and cuddle her before I had to drop her off at daycare. Those days are over... mostly.

Now are the days of the toddler tantrum. Toddler demands fruit snacks in the morning, and since we've already had two meltdowns I gladly give in to make her happy so that I can get a damn cup of coffee made... But wait, I've AGREED to fruit snacks so she no longer wants that. Now she wants grapes. OKAY, coffee on hold, I give her nice healthy grapes while patting myself on the back that she chose something healthy. But wait, I've AGREED to grapes, so she throws them all over the counter and demands chocolate. You'll be happy to know that despite the fact that I still haven't gotten my coffee I put my foot down. No Chocolate! Enter meltdown three. Somewhere between that meltdown, getting our stuff together, getting coffee, and having another meltdown we made it out the door with me carrying 4 bags, a bowl of grapes, coffee, AND a still fussy toddler who is now pissed that the white lighted deer that were in her front yard for Christmas are now gone.

On our way to daycare Barney playing on the in-car DVD system helped slightly (Brother if you comment on this I will personally drive down to NC and clock you over the head. Barney shut her up, BARNEY made the tears stop, we LOVE Barney!). We arrived at daycare and she actually walks in by herself. I start to put her stuff away and she decides to run. Whatever. I follow, set up her breakfast (crack muffins as Cowboy and i so affectionately call them) and she's decided she does not want breakfast, she only wants me and she wants to fuss and whine WHILE on my lap. Normally this would not be allowed, tough love and all that (or the fact that i was going to late for work now) but she does have a runny nose and must not feel good.

Finally I tell her I love her, I'll see her later and hand her off to one of her favorite teachers while she's SCREAMING (is this five meltdowns now?) for me. I get into the car and lose it. I later call to check on her to find out she was fine after about ten minutes. **Head hitting desk**

This is our new routine. At night too. She wants cheese, I give it to her... oh well since I gave her that she now wants cake. No kidding, the kid is ALWAYS asking for cake. I don't have cake just lying around my house, if I did then I would be eating it!! Then we fight her through the entire bedtime routine and she falls asleep all the while Cowboy is asking me "what did you do to her"... oh DON'T ask a pregnant lady that is getting kicked and screamed at by her toddler that when YOU know good and well that I didn't do ANYTHING, no one did. Except maybe I did do something just by breathing in the same space as her. MAYBE my air pissed her off?

From now on I'm just going to call her teachers and tell them to be out on the sidewalk when i drive by and tell Kinsley to roll when she hits the pavement!

My butt hurts, and a Christmas preview~

So my ass hurts... badly. I don't know if it's from Parker or my sadistic co-worker that convinced me to climb stairs with her yesterday.

My co-worker, who is 3 weeks farther along then me and has always been a runner (like a real, NEEDS to run runner) and has been working out her entire pregnancy while I slept, convinced me to workout with her at lunch. Just to do "something" so i would get into something of a groove before he was born and then keep it up afterwards. yea... see where this is going?

So I brought in my gear and headed down the gym with her. Well mistake number one, it's the new year so EVERYONE is heading down to the gym... the small gym. So all the machines were taken. My "take a nice gentle stroll on the elliptical" was taken. She being the hard ass that she is said she didn't get all changed for nothing (while i was thinking just changing was a workout in itself) and said we should walk some stairs. Somehow I agreed to this... can't be shown up ya know...

So we started up. It's 9 flights. ten if you count from the basement, which we only did that flight once. NINE flights. Um, I do paper, rock, scissors with hubs to NOT take the dogs outside at night so then i won't have to walk up just two flights. So we did it. Went down and she looked ready to do it again. I said to hell with it and joined her, rallying myself that I could do it once more. We got back to the bottom, I was sort of in one piece and she informed me she had ONE MORE left in her. I finally sucked up my pride and told her that last time WAS my one more time. But I didn't have my card to get back into the gym to change and I didn't want to sit in the stairway to be asked a million times if I was okay so I told her to go at HER pace and I would just meet her on her way down.

Ladies and gentleman I made it to the 7th floor! It hurt, it still hurts. But I made it! I will NOT make it again, unless by elevator.

So my ass hurts and I'm not sure if it was the stairs, Parker, or a combo of both of them.

ANYWAY....

Here's some Christmas pics to get you through until my family sends me theirs.

Pre-Santa... getting pumped up with Chick f la straws!

She looks unhappy here but she actually did NOT cry... I'll show proof with the official one soon.

Post Santa reward cookie! Piece of cake (or cookie) in her opinion.

Yeah she's all "See I'm a pro"... when in fact she was TERRIFIED!

Helping Momma get the presents to hand out, since bending is not my forte anymore.

I have a weird smile on my face, ignore that please.

K was really excited about some Elmo something or another... can you tell she likes Elmo by the PJ's?

Christmas, round two with Grandma...

It was great, but i can't wait to show the pictures of her in her Jeep that Santa brought! Also when is it appropriate to get rid of the Elf on the shelf TV special. Even though Chippy is drinking away his life with the booze and K thinks he's back at the North Pole we are still subjected to daily Elf on the Shelf TV watchings. Sometimes more if it's a weekend day. I know all the words.... Chris is starting to quote it... it's out of control.

Dear Parker

Dear Parker,

I haven't gotten to write you like I did your sister because y'all keep me so busy! Between work, your Dad, your sister, and your doctor's appointments Mommy just forgets. I'm sorry.

Right now we are 32 weeks and 4 days along. You have been making your own mark this pregnancy and making sure that you are different from your sister. You've even added a few new stretch marks to Momma's already riddled belly, thank you for that. I will now have a perminant reminder of your time in my belly for life, or until I convince your Daddy I need laser treatment, as well as a boob job, but that's not a conversation for you and I.

You're growing at about the same rate as your sister, always staying a week or two ahead on the scales. This frightens Momma for labor time but keeps me relived because I know you're doing well and thriving. You are also very determined to be paid attention to, I'm sure you'll have quite the "voice" when you are out here in the world. No matter what I'm doing (even sleeping, ahem!) you'll move and dance and punch to let me know you're there. You've also taken it upon yourself to move my pelvic bones for delivery, early. Now while it HURTS LIKE HELL, I'll forgive you if you'll come out and visit Momma and Daddy two weeks early! I really think February 10th is a MUCH better birthday, don't you?

You have been doing some fun things lately. Your future BFF Collin was born almost two weeks ago and every time I hold him you get excited, or jealous, not sure, but I'm going with excited because that's cuter! You normally like to punch Momma down in her lady regions but when I'm holding Collin you're all about "playing" up high where he's resting. And you know what? He doesn't seems to mind, sleeps right through it! He's REALLY excited to meet you.

Daddy and I have been busy getting your nursery put together and painted. Honestly little man, I can't WAIT to hold you! Seeing all of your little sleepers and tiny diapers has gotten Momma emotional lately, but a good emotional. Emotional that I'm going to have a son, a little man. To know I'm going to get to see your Daddy teach you how to be a man, and you couldn't have a better teacher! You are so lucky to have your Daddy and we're so lucky that we're going to have you. You are completing our family for us! We have the most amazing little girl and now we're going to have you too! God has surely smiled upon our family. I love you more then I can put into words right now and can't wait to meet you. So how about we set a date for February 10? Yes?

Love,

Momma

Wow, Happy New Year!

I took a break from blogging to enjoy my family and to get things done! It was an amazing Christmas and New Years for us and I'm so blessed to have such an amazing family (local and long distance)!

So WHAT have we been doing for the past week plus you may be asking? Well, sadly, not taking a lot of pictures, even though I DO have some, they just need to be edited and then more collected from the family.

What we HAVE been doing is the house, which I WILL get pictures of ASAP for you!

We have...

• finished Parker's room
• Finished painting the hallway/stairway walls and trim AND doors
• Painted the kids bathroom (now it just needs my co-workers magic!)
• repainted the Kitchen
• Got an ultrasound (more on that later)
• Ran 230,948,239 errands
• took down the Christmas decorations
• spent lots of time with family and friends
• organized all the baby toys and baby items in the basement
• took stuff to be donated after all that organization
• CLEANED
• reorganized the cabinets, will have to go this again once we need to add in bottles, etc for the breast milk I'll be making in February
• Organized Kinsley's toyshop (meaning we donated, threw away, and reorganized their set up)
• took Kinsley to see Santa (where she didn't cry this time!)
• hosted Christmas dinner (with lots of help)
• Chris built my washer and dryer a stand so i wouldn't have to bend over to do laundry!
• and even rested this big ole belly some!

So see, we've been VERY busy this last week, but I'll show you pictures to prove it soon!
Happy New Year!