Yeah you didn't think i was just going to tell you we attended a beautiful wedding and leave it at that did you?!?!? Come on, don't you know me by now?
First and foremost, this wedding was in North Carolina... 5 1/2 hours away! Yea and we brought Kinsley (not to the wedding, but to NC). Yeah this was our first car trip!
It actually went well... she slept, we would pull over to feed her and let her stretch, and then when all else failed i would ruin her brain by shoving "TV watching" down her throat with a DVD of the best of Sesame Street over the last 40years. So Kinsley and I were happily entertained by Afros, Neon colors, and celebrities of my past!
We get to the Cracker Barrel to meet my parents for lunch, eat and then go and check into our hotel. Now please don't think me snobby but i knew we weren't in for the spa treatment when we booked at the Red Roof Inn, BUT i thought it would be clean and safe... not so much.
See the halls REEKED of smoke (lovely) and the crib they brought for Kinsley to sleep in, yeah it was a death trap waiting to happen! See if she were sitting up and pulling up unassisted then there's NO WAY i would have even let her look at it much less sleep in it! Well i take it back up to the front and ask for another one... yeah it's missing a wheel so the whole thing is lopsided. Well they fix the screws that were FALLING OUT and make it seem a lot more sturdy so we pray to the good lord above and cross our fingers.
So now it's off to the wedding... Here's the plan, go to the Ceremony, drive back to the hotel, pick up Pops who will then be our DD for the evening! OKAY! First up... go to the church... Anyone know where the church is??? No? Got an address??? (15mins later and much internet searching) Score, plug it into the GPS and off we go! Wait was that the exit? Crap, it's cool we'll take the next one and turn around.... oh, the next exit is in 4 miles! GREAT... okay.... Okay FINALLY we're here, which building is the church??? Do ya'll see any cars??? Is that them down there? No... OH FOUND IT! Can we park in the visitors spot right up here in the front? Sure? Great!
We're tip-toeing inside only to be strong armed by the wedding organizer telling us the ceremony is almost over and to please go up to the balcony. With our tails between our legs, up we go, just in time to hear "I now pronounce you...". Fabulous... oh and one of the groomsmen is laughing at us, so of course everyone wants to know what's going on up in the balcony. Great, so much for "sneaking" in.
Alright off to get our DD, he drives us up to practically front door service (we looked like a bunch of teenagers getting dropped off at a friends birthday party). And despite the heat and being the main course for the blood sucking bugs, we start to enjoy ourselves... oh yeah did i mention we really didn't know many people??
Here's Chris enjoying the mashed potato bar (yeah he wants this "installed" in our house)...Quick, arm around me and pretend you love me.... Cheese!
Here's my bestie and her husband!
Here we are trying to look skinnier, it's working for her... me.... So all the hipe about Spanx... I call BS! It did not reduce a darn thing on me (more on them later)!
Here's Chris with his husbands... It's cool, i share
Our good friend Rowdy, i mean Mike.... Have you ever known someone and ALWAYS called them one name and then get told you can't call them that at their wedding because the bride's parents don't know that side of him and he doesn't want them to??? Yea so we all tried to "practice" calling him Mike... as the night went on it all just went down hill.... Sorry ahead of time Rowdy... MIKE!
This is Mike and Allison! Can't wait for their wedding in July!
And well.... then it all went down hill from there, fast. Christina and I went to the restroom... where i boycotted my spanx and hid them in my bra. Christina tried to clean up the beer I spilled in the fancy porta-john (seriously, she was cleaning a porta-john)... but don't worry we left a mint on the rug that we covered it with.
Chris and I lost each other for a while, but i found him with Rowdy (yes he was Rowdy by this point in the night)
And then i took a picture with the driver of the Bride and grooms get away car. Yeah, this is his normal dress up attire. What you don't see is the pink shoes to match AND the fur lined hat! HOLLER!
And then Pops picked us up, we changed and went to the other hotels bar, where i fell and twisted my ankle on the way (Platform heels+grass+hill= bad things!).
Happily Kinsley was sleeping safely with her Sasha and Papa while i recovered from the potatoes and pink suits!